Comments on: “Topping from the Bottom”: what it is NOT. http://www.mollena.com/2008/11/topping-from-the-bottom-what-it-is-not/ it ain't just the hair that's kinky Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:51:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: dominadoll http://www.mollena.com/2008/11/topping-from-the-bottom-what-it-is-not/comment-page-1/#comment-2962 dominadoll Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:58:15 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=874#comment-2962 Excellent explanation of topping/bottoming. I wish everyone looked at it this way. I find, many peeps in the D/s community (at least where I live) are very hung up on labels and whose in charge, and don't realize the value of communication and the sharing exchange in a relationship like this. I think it has to do a lot with "Tops" being afraid that they really have no "power" or giving up what they perceive as their "power". It really comes down to confidence I think, cause a true Top can give as well as take. Excellent explanation of topping/bottoming. I wish everyone looked at it this way. I find, many peeps in the D/s community (at least where I live) are very hung up on labels and whose in charge, and don’t realize the value of communication and the sharing exchange in a relationship like this. I think it has to do a lot with “Tops” being afraid that they really have no “power” or giving up what they perceive as their “power”. It really comes down to confidence I think, cause a true Top can give as well as take.

]]> By: Eliot http://www.mollena.com/2008/11/topping-from-the-bottom-what-it-is-not/comment-page-1/#comment-2855 Eliot Wed, 19 Nov 2008 03:28:12 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=874#comment-2855 Thank you for writing this, Mo! I get pretty sick of someone calling out a sub for "topping from the bottom" over being a little bratty or what have you. I LOVE to be bratty on occasion, but I never forget who is the dominant and who is the submissive. Thank you for writing this, Mo! I get pretty sick of someone calling out a sub for “topping from the bottom” over being a little bratty or what have you. I LOVE to be bratty on occasion, but I never forget who is the dominant and who is the submissive.

]]> By: Coy Pink http://www.mollena.com/2008/11/topping-from-the-bottom-what-it-is-not/comment-page-1/#comment-2844 Coy Pink Tue, 18 Nov 2008 22:19:50 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=874#comment-2844 BRAVA! An excellent, excellent piece. "And the folk’s I know who are “Compassionate Sadists” [i.e. a person whose sadism is dependant on the masochistic pleasure of their partner] are secure enough within their kink to accept guidance from their bottom and relish the feedback." That part describes my husband almost to a tee. Sometimes I feel like I don't want to describe any of our play as D/s related because it seems there are too many "rules" and always someone out there waiting to tell us we're "doing it wrong." I'm a firm believer that if it works for us, we're not doing anything incorrectly. Your post just reinforced to me that there's not ONE right way to be dominant and submissive. It's a spectrum. BRAVA! An excellent, excellent piece.

“And the folk’s I know who are “Compassionate Sadists” [i.e. a person whose sadism is dependant on the masochistic pleasure of their partner] are secure enough within their kink to accept guidance from their bottom and relish the feedback.”

That part describes my husband almost to a tee. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to describe any of our play as D/s related because it seems there are too many “rules” and always someone out there waiting to tell us we’re “doing it wrong.” I’m a firm believer that if it works for us, we’re not doing anything incorrectly. Your post just reinforced to me that there’s not ONE right way to be dominant and submissive. It’s a spectrum.

]]> By: Katie http://www.mollena.com/2008/11/topping-from-the-bottom-what-it-is-not/comment-page-1/#comment-2826 Katie Tue, 18 Nov 2008 18:55:36 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=874#comment-2826 perhaps we should think of another name for the bottom, it sounds degrading sometimes perhaps we should think of another name for the bottom, it sounds degrading sometimes

]]> By: lea_lesclave http://www.mollena.com/2008/11/topping-from-the-bottom-what-it-is-not/comment-page-1/#comment-2717 lea_lesclave Tue, 18 Nov 2008 15:33:51 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=874#comment-2717 “Was she topping from the bottom? Telling people what to do, or relieving you of the annoyance and burden of worrying about what had to be done? exactly.... “Was she topping from the bottom? Telling people what to do, or relieving you of the annoyance and burden of worrying about what had to be done?

exactly….

]]> By: lalana http://www.mollena.com/2008/11/topping-from-the-bottom-what-it-is-not/comment-page-1/#comment-2549 lalana Tue, 18 Nov 2008 10:30:47 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=874#comment-2549 Love it... most in our vanilla world assume that I'm "in charge" for the simple fact that I do the organizing, the planning, the executing. But they're not seeing that I do it to please Master, to relieve him of a burden he has no desire to shoulder. Those that know the slave me know that I'm doing it in service to him, that it's part of my responsibility, part of my submission. Working on letting people know gently that while I may appear to be the controlling one, everything I do is driven by Master... without sharing too much info. What a fine line that is! lalana Love it… most in our vanilla world assume that I’m “in charge” for the simple fact that I do the organizing, the planning, the executing. But they’re not seeing that I do it to please Master, to relieve him of a burden he has no desire to shoulder. Those that know the slave me know that I’m doing it in service to him, that it’s part of my responsibility, part of my submission. Working on letting people know gently that while I may appear to be the controlling one, everything I do is driven by Master… without sharing too much info. What a fine line that is!
lalana

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