I absolutely strenuously object to the idea that anyone ever thinks it is OK to project their fantasy or desire for any sort of edgy play onto a potential partner without extensive research.

IOW, I can guarantee you the fastest way to guarantee that I won’t play with you is to approach me in precisely the way you mention.

The behaviour you mention does happen. It predate my involvement in the scene. My hope is that talking about this issue will have the effect of educating people that it is never OK to bum-rush someone with your shit.

Whenever I’ve presented on this topic I do grind my axe a bit on the idea that it is, to me, critical that I have ALL of the choice ALL of the time when it comes to this type of play in particular. The choice and the consent is the only thing that makes it OK. If you come at me with your greasy energy I’d shut you down so fast…ugh.

I think you probably won’t believe me, but in all of my years doing this, I’ve never been approached in Real Time by anyone specifically asking me if I’d be interested in doing a race play scene wit them. I have had one or two online encounters where someone has said something like “I’ve this fantasy of dominating a black woman.” and my response is. “Well, good luck to you because I ‘m not interested in filling in a gap in your fantasy life.”

It might be luck or it may be that I’m just not the kind of person people hit on.

I think that most people are NOT comfortable with the idea of race play and that weeds out the majority of folks. The people who ARE interested, by and large, are aware of how fraught it is.

And if someone is so douchetastic as to step to you with that kind of fuckery, isn’t it a blessing to have that litmus test turn up screaming ultra-violent and letting you know this person is not at all a worthy adversary?

Thanks for the post, and for reading!

Peace

~Mollena

What I object to is the idea that because it’s a kink, it’s OK to run up on random brown and black folks in the scene and openly project every racist idea ever onto them. (Not saying that you encourage this. Just that that’s what happens.) If I had a dollar for everyone who wrote to me or approached me at a party, salivating at the idea that I would be totally ghettofied with a perpetually swiveling neck and a burning desire to make them my little white bitch, I could retire. And I can’t imagine what it must be like for a submissive of color who has no desire to engage in race play.

I can get my mind around people who don’t like something, who are angered by an idea.

But when that anger spills over into verbal, or emotional violence…or threats of the same, I can only think that fear is the core motivator. But that tends to make me feel like I need to deal with them compassionately. And then that isn’t reciprocal, and then I feel shitty…blah blah fucking blah.

It is beyond me to expend precious energy worrying about some bullshit.

xoxo

~Mo

Pissing off the PC grumblers is not at all what I had in mind when I wanted to get my freak on.

Love

~Mo

I’d be curious to see what another presenter on edge play might have to say if it was brought up in one of their classes. I really would.

Thank you for listening and hearing and for writing!!

xoxo

~Mo

If a you want a scene with some race play in it and your partner is GGG enough to go for it then do it, have fun.

I remember on of my first exposures to kink was one of those terrible playboy/penthouse letters where the girl was asking about doing something to her boyfriend/husband (I don’t remember what) and the response was make sure you don’t leave any marks. My only thought to that was no marks where is the fun in that.

Think about what you are doing, then do it and have fun with it.

That takes work.

Fuck the haters.

I just know that I would love to have an honest conversation with someone about it. If I ever get the chance to make it to one of your classes, I will. I attend presentations on edgeplay all the time and not once has race play been mentioned. It’s so edgey it’s the thing that dare not be mentioned. So maybe the next time someone brings it up, I won’t turn it into a joke about a take down scene and actually talk about “it”.

I hope to be able to attend your class on race play on day. I can’t say it has any appeal to me, but then most things don’t until someone proposes it and then my mind gets to working But I am curious. The few times the topic has been broached, I jokingly replied with if you want a good take down scene then throw in a little race play. So far no one has taken me up on that. It’s a shame that so many people are afraid to talk about it in a meaningful way. I attend presentations on edge play all the time and not once has race play been mentioned. Maybe the next time someone does bring up the subject, instead of joking about it, I will try to have a discussion. We can talk about shit and piss and blood and rape and incest but not race. Is it really that scary???