Yeah so I don’t speak French all that well.

 
Oh, and HERE is the truly Fail booty call story

How WOULD one express the concept of a “Booty Call Fail” in French? Or German? Or Japanese?

Hey, translate it if you got the skills!
xoxo

*clears throat*

**taps microphone**

I am doing my awesome kinky community some service by sharing about awesome stuff!

First off, because it is coming up really fast, you should be all the fuck over the

How bloody cool is that!

There is a free online discussion and you sure as hell don’t wanna miss it.  

May 31, 9:00 pm EDT / 6:00 pm PDT
SceneTalk
Online Expert Panel Discussion

The Topic:

“Has the Scene Changed for Better or Worse?”

The Panelists:

John Warren, Ph.D.
 Jack Rinella
 Lolita Wolf  *squee*
 Auburn Goddess & Her Devious

This is a free public service event.
 Register Now!

This is a stellar lineup and an amazing opportunity.

Even more fucking AWESOME is the fact that I hope to soon have an opportunity to participate directly in the PPA myself. Stay tuned because it may well be a double-dip-o-delight!

Second, if you are anywhere near the Saint Louis area you oughta check out the GRUE (no, it couldn’t be any fucking geekier) which is going down in June. The GRUE, which stands for Graydancer’s Rope Unconference, Eh? or something like that is a one-day event modeled off of the “un-conference” concept about which you can read here.

If you are a little frazzled from big-ass kink cons, this is an awesome change of pace! If you haven’t attended a big kink event, this is an excellent way to get your…um…your feet wet. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Feet.*  Plus you get to hang out with Gray, who isn’t quite as awesome as me but he tries his damnedest, people!!

 So, there you have it! Check out the Webinar! GRUE your ass off!

 And don’t forget to tip the waitstaff!

*Unless you are one of those people for whom moistness in the foot area is an absolute nightmare, and y’all know who y’all are.

I posted a little bit ago on this really cool book about the dude who illustrated the Superman comics but fell on hard times and was doing SM pron illustrations back in the day.  So then this guy Ryan Harris commented on my post that, in theory, if a bitch had her Amazon Wish List squared away, she might get a surprise in the &^%$ mail.

So, OMG, Ryan Harris!! THANK YOU!!!

Not only am I now gleefully reading “SECRET IDENTITY: The Fetish Art of SUPERMAN’S Co-Creator, Joe Schuster” but he was wunnerful enough to send me ANOTHER book on my wish list!

Kick ass, dude!

 I am so moved that someone would be so sweet and thoughtful as to do that for me And it isn’t even my birthday!

 But it will be soon.

 ON the 20th of June, to be precise.

My 40th BIRTHDAY IN FACT.  And my Amazon Wish list is all spiffed up and expanding daily…

Just sayin’.

Wow…how did I get…to…be…FORTY?!?! Sure as fuck weren’t clean livin’…

Oh my god! OK, so a couple of months ago I was chatting on Twitter with some guy I didn’t know, who said he was a photographer. I checked out his site and was blown away by his talent, and made some offhand comment about wanting to model for him.

Fast forward to NOW and HOLYMOTHERFUCKING SHIT not only was the shoot a source of some images that, even in my pickiness and crankiness find stellar (you can see some of them here on my blog…just rootle around a while!) but I have the Brobdingnagian honor of being on the cover of one of his upcoming books.

"Seconds" ~ photos by melvin moten jr.

I know, that is SO. FUCKING. COOL.

Even though I am kind of embarrassed that a picture of me masturbating is going to be on someones coffee table somewhere sometime in the not-too-distant-future.

WIN!

I fucking love hotels and the past 6 months have seen me in MANY hotel rooms across the country, perving it up.

For today’s HNT I’m repeating the double dip duo idea from a couple of weeks ago with a “before and after” HNT set from my recent jaunt to Shibaricon, about which I cannot seem to stop talking.

ON the front we have a quickie pre-dungeon shot of my fave underwear, and behind  the behind is an “after” shot of a lovely injury inflicted, I strongly suspect, by the Lethal Cane-sabre of the Sith.

NSFW, BTW.

 Happy Happy HNT, perverts, friends, countrymen!

If you were at the FUCKING AWESOME Shibaricon in Chicago this past weekend, you know how much WIN was contained therein.

I’ve been traveling bunches this past 6 months or so. More than ever before in conjunction with BDSM scene events. Much of the time, I spend an inordinate amount of time in my room watching Deadliest Catch marathons, or insanely mindblowingly shitty B-Movies and Twittering.

Not this time.

Not only had I worked up the ovaries to ask several people to play, I had an extra guest ticket to the event. Rather than moping about not having a date, I enlisted the help of a friend from Twitter to sort of be my ConBuddy and nudger. Someone there to poke me if I was hiding and who was tasked, if I needed it, to hide with me so I felt that much less lame.

And you know what? She may well have been my lucky charm because so much fell into place.

I hit the ground calmly, even though I missed the Presenters Welcoming speech, etc. My flight was taxiing when it began and goodness knows ORD is a HUGE place to navigate when you are in a hurry!

I had a lovely supper with Viviane, and took a stroll around the playspace, but went to ground early. Mostly because I was a but bummed I couldn’t work out any of the play-dates I was hoping to have into that first night, but also because I have someone who has caught my fancy and I was looking forward to chatting with him before it got too late.

I did manage to run into the several with whom I wanted to play, so we reconnected in that way.

This was a magic con for that. I literally ran into who I needed to see precisely when I needed to see them, over and over and over.

I even managed to have some of “Ah, there you are, I’ve been expecting you!”  moments of  connectivity with Old Friends I’d not yet met.

Very magical. I bonded with some women of intense power this weekend. and to them I give my deepest thanks for touching my heart.

My class wasn’t until the last day of the con, and early morning at that, so I was free and loose most of the weekend. I DID have the appearance in the Cabaret show on Saturday night, and that was a lot of fun!

Note to self: wearing my ST:TOS uniform is a guaranteed way to garner much fanboy and fangirl love. I mean, hey, who HASN’T fantasized about gang-roping Uhura?? Really.

So did she play? This is  the question!

After a shitload of Cons, and the last scene I’ve had being at KinkFest in Portland…in 2008 (!!!!) I am proud to say I finally have broken the drought.

Big time.

The inimitable Lolita Wolf broke the seal, in more ways that one. I was able to chat with her earlier in the evening, finally find a place to play and yegodholyhell the woman knows her way around a butt.

And she didn’t even get mad when I …um…well…was rather copiously grateful for her attentions.  Grateful enough to spread copiousness all over her crinoline and onto her boots.

blushing. Full scene report here

This was followed up by a really, really fun scene with Lqqout, who I managed to not only beat in a nipple-twisting contest, but also tagged in the grapes while I was in a partial suspension. Yay me!

Sunday was busy with classes, and more fun, as a friend I’d met at Beyond Leather and i got together for a very intense scene. Having never played with Deiter before, I was not at all certain what to expect but i think now I can expect a really wonderful intensity and awesome time. Oh and lost of delectable roughness.

Sunday evening wrapped up with a surprisingly cathartic scene with Gray, who managed to create space enough for me to lose myself to complete and upper break-down-sobbing-tears by the end of the scene…and I am fairly certain I was speaking in tongues there by the end.

Hey…its what I do.

I even got him to safeword later in the evening. Even the most famous tops bow before the mighty might of…The Chicken Dance.

My class was at the asscrack of dawn (Hey, 10:00 AM on the Monday closing day of a 4-Day con is BRUTAL, y’all!) but the attendance was great, the people in the class were SO present and supportive and the demo was truly inspired. Much love to Gray, Lqqout and Deiter for their ebilz…and extra love to Lqqout for being my truffle hero!

I am deeply grateful to each and every person who was there. You made it worthwhile to me.

And I received the ultimate compliment from one of the people who joined me for the session, and felt so honored and humbled and wonderful!

If you DID attend my class, and you enjoyed it, and would like to have Shibaricon invite me back and sponsor more classes from the bottom / submissive POV, why not drop a note and let them know that?  guests at Shibaricon dot com is the address

Thankfully I bookended the trip with another night at the hotel. Managed to stave off some of the drop by decompressing with friends, relaxing, leaving at a leisurely pace. Most wonderfully I had the chance to spend time with some of the Shibaricon Staff and those are some badass fuckers right there, let me tell you.

My Aftercare Truffles for Tops were a big hit, by the way. If you are a bottom type person, consider treating the person who whips you into a sobbing puddle of ooze to a delectable after they take you down to subspace and leave you dangling over the edge, only to pull you back.

They’ll appreciate the thought

And the nommables!

Even when they do mindfuck you into thinking they’ve eated you precious, precious White Chocolate Key Lime Pie truffles from See’s.

Sugasm #166

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #167? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.

This Week’s Picks
Bare-Assed Cheek (2): Punishment and Reward
“His finger glides up the inner side of my left thigh.”

Lilly’s Turn – Part 1: Wherein a Power Play is Made
“I asked her, outright, if she considered herself submissive.”

…please…
“Exquisite pain heralding exquisite surrender.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Is Sasha Grey going mainstream?

Sugasm Editor
A Difficult Scenario

Editor’s Choice
Just Looking

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

photo by melvin moten jr

News, Reviews & Interviews
Uniram Manual Sex Machine

Sex Advice
Ask Miss Bliss – She Brings Her Man To The All-Girl Sex Party
How to Make Your Own Fucking Machine

BDSM & Fetish
“Dominant Savant…?”
Microfantasy Monday: Tits
More?
Riffing on Brent Scott Riffing on Socrates (was Meeting BS)
Thank you, Jay Wiseman
What’s in the box?

Erotic Writing & Experiences
Camera Shy, Part 4
Couch. Confession #278
Drowning In Lust
Each Exquisite Stroke
Fantasy to Reality
I Like Being a Dirty Bitch
Miss blue that Naughty Little Voyeur
Play
Safe Haven
Sexy Skills
Sissy
Sleep Fucking

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
HNT – Thursday, May 21st, 2009
Love HNT
Playful Flower
“Vixen” -HNT

Sex Humor
A Chocolate Dick Treat
The Secret to Soul Mates

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Blow Jays
Darling, You Look Wonderful Tonight
Have you seen her…?

The not-at-all controversial race play class I conducted on Tuesday went well. Good turnout. A good mix of folks. Fantastic feedback. Even some kudos from a VERY skeptical friend who was prepared to be QUITE displeased with the outcome. 

After the bullfuckery of the past week, it was very gratifying to have so much support from other kinky people who, regardless of whether or not they want to engage in this kind of scene, are respectful enough to engage in intelligent discourse.

There was another event parallelling my class and one of the people attending that event came by during our break to say hello, but excused herself well before our break was over.

Being from the south, she wasn’t at all OK with this type of thing, she said, and excused herself.

 Didn’t call me names. Didn’t threaten violence.

 Just. Said. No.

 How hard is this, people?

This morning I was scanning the comments posted on my FetLife account. I was sickened to see someone unknown to me post, in public, on my profile picture, the following comment:

DomWM commented 3 Days Ago: What a gorgeous, ambitious, and accomplished niggergirl…my highest regards.

Yeah.

 Not OK. Not ever.

And I know that people are going to assume I am “Asking for it.”

Well, fuck you, too. Because this is ALL. ABOUT. CONSENT.

And NO CONSENT has been given to ANYONE to abuse me without being

1) Approved by and known to me.

2) Smokin’ hot.

Anyone know knows ANYTHING about my stance on this is well aware of that.

So I just now dashed off this letter to FetLife’s godfather, John Baku:

Hey John.

Hope you are doing well.

I will keep this short.

I have two site members who, for similar reasons very with divergent approaches, have overstepped boundaries.

First:

I received a general threat from a site member. His handle is MasterJaye. Specifically, he has in the past attacked me for teaching classes about race play and now took it one step further. On a Yahoo! group for a local dungeon, that hosted a recent class I conducted on Race Play, he made a general threat of violence against anyone he saw engaging in what he determined to be race play.

You can read the test of his post here: http://www.mollena.com/2009/05/whos-lynching-who/

I am notifying you as site owner of this individual’s behaviour. I have blocked him for now, but I think it is unwise to have unstable people such as this on a site that has, as its focus, consensual BDSM and kink.

On to the second issue.

Today I noted a comment on one of my photos.

DomWM commented 3 Days Ago: What a gorgeous, ambitious, and accomplished niggergirl…my highest regards.

I know some people have a “blame the victim” mentality about this sort of thing.
As though the fact that I engage in race play gives anyone and everyone the right to be verbally abusive.
However.
In 12 years of being in the scene, no one nominally in the BDSM community who was not an intimate of mine has ever presumed to refer to me with a racial epithet.
Furthermore, no one would ever presume to assume that someone who referred to themselves as a slave/submissive/bottom has given blanket permission to anyone who thinks of themselves as dominant to grab them about the throat and commence to scening.
I know the position of many is “Well, what do you expect?”
My expectations are not many.

• I expect to be treated with respect.
• I expect to be treated as an individual.
• I expect to be approached civilly.

I do not know what your personal opinion is regarding unsolicited hate speech. Or threats of violence.
I hope it is swift banning of people who are bullies, or who do not comprehend or deliberately flout basic, common sense rules about boundaries.
I eagerly await your action and response
Peace.
Mollena

I suspect this is asshole trollism.

But if so…stomp that shit out.

I usually do become nervous before classes. But tonight it is compounded by the hateful email, the unpleasant reactions on another site about the race play interviews, my own delicately-balanced self-esteem, and feeling more than a little lonely.

It isn’t ever easy to present, and with the gnawing realization that *gasp* someone out there wishes me ill, it becomes tough. Those of you who are “sensitives” might get me on this. Not to go too woo-woo, but fuckit.

There is no demo for the class tonight.  Oh, don’t get me wrong. I angled for one. But got a casual blow-off on it from the person I approached. The vanishingly small group of others with whom I might have done the class were each less than optimal for other reasons.  Corralling my need and approach for aftercare in these situations is a dance I know well. And for many reasons, I really only would have been OK with this one individual helping with the class. But they weren’t interested.

Technically, that is OK. But did it tap my fear of being fucked up? Yeah, it sure did.

I am advised that I am a good presenter regardless if I have  song-and-dance showtime in the class.

But regardless of that, I can say I am honestly glad I don’t have this class scheduled for a long while.

Because it is a certainty that, at the end of tonight, I will crawl into bed with my stuffed elephant and cry.

photo by melvin moten jr.

…I love this photograph. A lot.