Comments on: Mo’s nogamy. http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/ it ain't just the hair that's kinky Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:41:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: The Perverted Negress » Less is More. http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/comment-page-1/#comment-7676 The Perverted Negress » Less is More. Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:17:54 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=5103#comment-7676 [...] others, and I enjoy watching someone I love play with someone who isn’t me. I talked about that in this blog post. But that isn’t what I need in order to feel the feelings and nurture the emotional landscape in [...] [...] others, and I enjoy watching someone I love play with someone who isn’t me. I talked about that in this blog post. But that isn’t what I need in order to feel the feelings and nurture the emotional landscape in [...]

]]> By: kahlana http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/comment-page-1/#comment-7531 kahlana Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:05:49 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=5103#comment-7531 Mollena, I love you and adore your blog but I swear to god I wish you would stop reading my diary/journal/mail/mind. I am laughing like a crazy woman over here because once again you have posted something Master and I have been discussing between us and attempting to clarify for ourselves. I read your stuff and its like I am reading my own with a few minor tweaks on spelling and grammar. And how come we have the same thoughts about stuff at the same damn time? What is up with that???? It's hilarious really. Please don't ever stop writing. It's fantastic to have my own thoughts mirrored in someone else who seems to understand my heart and put it into words even better than I can some days. Mollena, I love you and adore your blog but I swear to god I wish you would stop reading my diary/journal/mail/mind. I am laughing like a crazy woman over here because once again you have posted something Master and I have been discussing between us and attempting to clarify for ourselves. I read your stuff and its like I am reading my own with a few minor tweaks on spelling and grammar. And how come we have the same thoughts about stuff at the same damn time? What is up with that???? It’s hilarious really. Please don’t ever stop writing. It’s fantastic to have my own thoughts mirrored in someone else who seems to understand my heart and put it into words even better than I can some days.

]]> By: Coyote Too http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/comment-page-1/#comment-7492 Coyote Too Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:46:07 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=5103#comment-7492 This is an area that I have been struggling with a great deal. I have a number of poly friends, with (not surprisingly), a number of different approaches to poly. There are models, closed groups, ones where roles are well defined, that make theoretical sense to me, but in the end, I have trouble with boundaries. I want to give too much, become too involved. I get spread too thin with just my friends, never mind taking it to the next level with lovers. But there is another side to the problem. I tend to look to one person to address all my needs; friend, mate, intellectual sparring partner, playmate, and of course, submissive. Aside from the obvious issues of _finding_ such a person, that is really too much to ask of one person. "Play poly and heart monogamous" is an interesting approach, and closer to where I have been heading in my mind. I still don't know whether I can do it, and I know that there are still needy aspects of myself that I need to address before I enter into *any* long term relationship, but it is helpful to know that I am not the only person on this path. Thank you, --Coyote .-= Coyote Too´s most recent blog moment of Zen on the net was...<a href="http://www.coyotetoo.com/angst/need.html" rel="nofollow">Need</a> =-. This is an area that I have been struggling with a great deal. I have a number of poly friends, with (not surprisingly), a number of different approaches to poly. There are models, closed groups, ones where roles are well defined, that make theoretical sense to me, but in the end, I have trouble with boundaries. I want to give too much, become too involved. I get spread too thin with just my friends, never mind taking it to the next level with lovers.

But there is another side to the problem. I tend to look to one person to address all my needs; friend, mate, intellectual sparring partner, playmate, and of course, submissive. Aside from the obvious issues of _finding_ such a person, that is really too much to ask of one person. “Play poly and heart monogamous” is an interesting approach, and closer to where I have been heading in my mind. I still don’t know whether I can do it, and I know that there are still needy aspects of myself that I need to address before I enter into *any* long term relationship, but it is helpful to know that I am not the only person on this path.

Thank you,
–Coyote
.-= Coyote Too´s most recent blog moment of Zen on the net was…Need =-.

]]> By: Nil17 http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/comment-page-1/#comment-7490 Nil17 Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:40:50 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=5103#comment-7490 Thanks for this post & your explanation of your labels. This post touched a cord in me & has given me a lot to think about but I certainly sensed myself in what you said...it gives me a place to start thinking more about this in my own monogamous (and newly BDSM) relationship & where poly play may have a role in the future or not. :) .-= Nil17´s most recent blog moment of Zen on the net was...<a href="http://nil17.com/2009/11/honest-scrap-award/" rel="nofollow">Honest Scrap Award</a> =-. Thanks for this post & your explanation of your labels. This post touched a cord in me & has given me a lot to think about but I certainly sensed myself in what you said…it gives me a place to start thinking more about this in my own monogamous (and newly BDSM) relationship & where poly play may have a role in the future or not. :)
.-= Nil17´s most recent blog moment of Zen on the net was…Honest Scrap Award =-.

]]> By: mollena http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/comment-page-1/#comment-7482 mollena Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:14:14 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=5103#comment-7482 Hi Amy! I am glad you are feeling less shy! :-) Thank you for reading and for commenting, and for "getting it!" Peace ~Mo Hi Amy!

I am glad you are feeling less shy! :-)

Thank you for reading and for commenting, and for “getting it!”

Peace

~Mo

]]> By: mollena http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/comment-page-1/#comment-7479 mollena Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:54:44 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=5103#comment-7479 I am so touched...and thank YOU for nudging me to actually share what has been spinning in my head for a while now. I wouldn't worry overmuch about they the strength and confidence part...I barely make it in that department, but "acting as if" goes a long long way. You can do it...it isn't all candy and cupcakes, but it is so beautiful when it touches the soul. Peace. ~Mo I am so touched…and thank YOU for nudging me to actually share what has been spinning in my head for a while now.

I wouldn’t worry overmuch about they the strength and confidence part…I barely make it in that department, but “acting as if” goes a long long way. You can do it…it isn’t all candy and cupcakes, but it is so beautiful when it touches the soul.

Peace.

~Mo

]]> By: mollena http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/comment-page-1/#comment-7478 mollena Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:51:58 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=5103#comment-7478 Thank you so much for stopping in and peepin' my post! :-) People are strange cats: a similar train of thought and reasoning in 3 different people can lead to three vastly different conclusions! And then you look back and laugh, because agreement doesn't necessarily and ultimately mean collusion. It is very, very heartening to hear that you DID find a partner whose gears mesh wit your workings...it gives me a little boost-o-hope! xoxo Mo Thank you so much for stopping in and peepin’ my post! :-)

People are strange cats: a similar train of thought and reasoning in 3 different people can lead to three vastly different conclusions! And then you look back and laugh, because agreement doesn’t necessarily and ultimately mean collusion.

It is very, very heartening to hear that you DID find a partner whose gears mesh wit your workings…it gives me a little boost-o-hope!

xoxo

Mo

]]> By: mollena http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/comment-page-1/#comment-7477 mollena Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:48:03 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=5103#comment-7477 Hey Kad! Yah I love ultimatums in general..and specifically when the choice is undeniably clear? Awesome. Good that you got the hell out and into a much more loving and healthy place! I look forward to playing sometime! I thoroughly enjoyed myself as well! xoxo Mo Hey Kad!

Yah I love ultimatums in general..and specifically when the choice is undeniably clear? Awesome.

Good that you got the hell out and into a much more loving and healthy place!

I look forward to playing sometime! I thoroughly enjoyed myself as well!

xoxo

Mo

]]> By: mollena http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/comment-page-1/#comment-7476 mollena Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:43:54 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=5103#comment-7476 Thank you Mr. Saynine! I am honored. xox Mo Thank you Mr. Saynine!

I am honored.

xox

Mo

]]> By: mollena http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/comment-page-1/#comment-7475 mollena Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:42:31 +0000 http://www.mollena.com/?p=5103#comment-7475 Hi Kat :-) Thanks for stopping in! And thanks for picking up on the viability and value in labels as guidelines and helpful hints, etc. Rejecting ;'em outright can be a disservice, I think. The situation you describe is one where, I feel you can't know how it will go until you are in it. Which is why I err on the side of "Go ahead, try it." when it comes to relationship dynamics. Deal-breakers often rear their sassy heads when the "deal" is being compromised, and not before. Peace ~Mollena .-= mollena´s most recent blog moment of Zen on the net was...<a href="http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/hello-nightmare/" rel="nofollow">Hello, Nightmare!</a> =-. Hi Kat :-)

Thanks for stopping in! And thanks for picking up on the viability and value in labels as guidelines and helpful hints, etc. Rejecting ;’em outright can be a disservice, I think.

The situation you describe is one where, I feel you can’t know how it will go until you are in it. Which is why I err on the side of “Go ahead, try it.” when it comes to relationship dynamics. Deal-breakers often rear their sassy heads when the “deal” is being compromised, and not before.

Peace

~Mollena
.-= mollena´s most recent blog moment of Zen on the net was…Hello, Nightmare! =-.

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