Yeah, welcome to my newest post…where I encourage you to LEAVE my blog and go read someone else’s.
While a Top and a bottom in BDSM experience different stress triggers and excitements, both produce body responses that brain must process and recover from. Whether it is a physical scene or a psychological one, the top receives pleasure while exerting emotional and mental control while the bottom produces chemical reactions to protect from the full effects of the treatment they are receiving.
~Saynine, in “Drop and Aftercare: a Discussion“
A remarkable post from my buddy Saynine, wherein he gathers thoughts and opinions from people and goes all reporterish and shit.
It is really well-balanced and thoughtful meditation on something we can take for granted, and that is aftercare, and how it can lead to “post scene ‘drop’”
SO check it out! And tell him I said “Wasuuuuuup?!?”
I am so excited I am beyond words.
I’ve been asked to pose for the poster for the Folsom Street Fair 2010.
Throw confetti on me!
Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #7? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~
Exposing My Self to Airport Security - I stared right at her until she looked away and called for assistance for a pat-down search. I gaped, chin dropped: holy shit, they’re gonna give me a pat down cuz I’m packing a silicon cock.
Prefect’s Prerogative - When I neglect this duty, or don’t perform it to his satisfaction, he makes me light a fire in his room, and stand in front of it in just my school shirt and white socks.
Attention Women: There is Something Wrong With Your Vagina - Yes, that’s what your vagina needs: a breath mint. Because, just like vagina shouldn’t smell like vagina, it also shouldn’t taste like vagina.
~ e[lust] Editress ~
The Perfect Fat – Why do clothes designers assume that if you’re plus-sized you’re 1. over 5′9″ and 2. over the age of 45 or “matronly and modest”? At the age of 32 I am not yet ready to dress like my grandmother.
~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~
Zipless - “I have some Scotch in my room—maybe you’d join me? You know, in the interest of not drinking alone…” She smiled. Perhaps she could yet salvage the day’s ending.
See also: Pleasurists #61 for all your sex toy review needs.
Also in recent sex news, check out the coverage of the Adult Entertainment Expo that happened in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago. You’ll see videos and articles from our fellow sex-bloggers on fun things like a rodeo penis and new sex toys not even on the market yet!
(more…)
Q: What tips do you think all submissives need to hear, in your experience?
Take. Your. Time.
BDSM isn’t going anywhere. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, and waiting is just fine. Plunging in headfirst is awesome, until it isn’t. Think of it this way: sure, the first dominant who wants to tie you up and beat you might be awesome. But the 9th dominant you meet might be a better match, and if the first one puts you off your path, or is a jerk, and you say “Wow, I wish I’d waited until I had more time to vet people!” you can’t undo that shit.
Trust Your Gut.
Being kinky shouldn’t reset a lifetime of experiences. If something doesn’t feel right, and you hear “OH, but that’s just how it is done!” then fuck how it is done. You are here to get your needs met, not to walk blindly into something just because someone else says it is so.
Make friends.
Make friends with other submissives. Make friends with switches. Make friend with tops and doms. And I mean platonic friends. People who aren’t out to get in your pants. Folks you can trust for feedback, who are connected in the community, who don’t have ulterior motives for telling you things that might not be in your best interest.
Read everything with a grain of salt.
I don’t care who the fuck said it or wrote it. (more…)
As many of you know, upon my being awarded the Title Ms. San Francisco Leather, it became part of my Titleholder responsibility to represent San Francisco in the International Ms. Leather Competition.
Since 2009 was the first Ms. San Francisco Leather contest in a decade, this is a very exciting and somewhat daunting run I have ahead of me. I am SO grateful to everyone who has extended the hand of help, and am appealing to folks to help us bring the title Back to the Bay! (more…)
Go ahead.
Seduce me. (more…)
“When you’re feeling down or just run down, is there a favorite comfort food you tend to crave? And why?”
Have you listened to Double Meat (http://www.doublemeatpodcast.com)? I hear that it’s THE podcast for women who want to be “spit roasted” by 2 fat nerds. Also, how’s my hair look today?
Thick skin yet sensitive.
Ably shielded yet vulnerable.
How the fuck are we supposed to function as people, and as submissive people, yet remain vulnerable enough to let others see who we can be when we are in that headspace?
These days, I have brief, rare, small glimpses into being submissive. But the rough lumpish truth is that I haven’t had a D/S exchange of depth, duration and valid reciprocity in years.
Not just a few years.
Many years.
I had a recent epiphany, based on one of those “Instantaneous Downloads Of a Metric Fuckton Of Information” that I do so love.
And by “I do so love” I really mean “Fuck this bullshit.”
I have a bit of a problem.
I don’t “read as submissive.” And this is really beyond the superficial behaviors that one might expect to see a submissive type performing. I’m not talking about my tendency to not tremble delicately with downcast eyes and heaving breasts.
I’m talking about the fact that I am NOT an organic 360° 24/7 submissive-to-the-planet.
There, I’ve said it. (more…)
The title of Best Sex Writing 2010 may mislead some people — this (mostly) isn’t porn, but rather a collection of essayistic pieces on topics ranging from condoms to fisting.
Which isn’t to say the book — edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel and with an intro by Esther Perel — isn’t hot. “BDSM and Playing With Race,” by Mollena Williams is as titillating in its violation of taboos as it is informative in its portrayal of the BDSM community. Williams writes,
For me, humiliation is a broad-brush full-bore way for me to feel the worst of how I feel about myself, give it away to someone, and have them hold it. [...]
Add to this mix the humiliation of years of racism, oppression, the struggle for identity. Add to this living in a country built by your ancestors and one where, in your parents’ memory, your ancestors were living in segregation.
Imagine, instead of covering up that scar, that wound, pulling it open, letting that suppurating pain see the light of day, bare, open and painful, but able to breathe, to heal, and so find peace in surviving it.
Another standout is Betty Dodson’s “Sexual Outlaw,” about her post-menopausal discovery of a lesbian S/M support group: it’s both a powerful refutation of the notion that women over 50 aren’t sexy, and a sexy exploration of the idea that fucking is all about power. And Janet Hardy’s “The Portal,” about fisting, fingering, and general vagina appreciation, is dirty fun (example: “I do, however, like men. And since they don’t have cunts, we use mine.”). (more…)
Featured Posts
I usually do become nervous before classes. But tonight it is compounded by the hateful email, the unpleasant reactions on another site about the race play interviews, my own delicately-balanced self-esteem, and feeling more than a little lonely. It isn’t ever easy to present, and with the gnawing realization that *gasp* someone out there wishes [...]
Go deeper... →
I often hear people talk about pivotal moments in their lives with longing regret: wishing they’d known then how critical a moment this fleeting juncture would be. I have had the pleasure / terror of Total In-The-Moment-Surety that something was going to be a life altering event even as it happened. The unifying theme is [...]
Go deeper... →
I’ve had a mixed relationship with my body when it comes to menstruation. I started when I was 12, and was a little pissed because I had swimming class that day, and my Mom was broke, and she only used pads. I was running late but had to get money off of my already [...]
Go deeper... →
