Five Years Ago Today

Five Years Ago Today, I received possibly the most Austrian marriage “proposal” in the history of ever. We had lunch today in Grand Central, to commemorate the afternoon that Der Spousemeister, agitated after a weaksauce meeting with an arrogant lawyer, seemed like he might have proposed.


How does this happen, you ask?


Well, lemmie tell ya.


He’s insisted, since we met, he was not going to re-marry. After 3 marriages, he figured he might be better off NOT marrying someone he loved. I wasn’t tripping, since my priority was the power exchange dynamic and being with a man I thought was pretty damn awesome.

Four months in, and we were figuring out how things were going to work long-term. Part of my responsibility that day was getting him to an appointment with an immigration lawyer. She was awful, unhelpful, and it was dismaying since she’d been recommended by Columbia University as one of their approved counsel. We left feeling frustrated. I took a deep breath as we walked across 42nd and toward Grand Central.

“Sir I know you said you don’t want to get married again but maybe it would be worthwhile to consider it from a simply legal perspective. It would facilitate your citizenship, and we don’t have to tell anyone or make it a thing. Just get it done, file the paperwork…”

“No!’ he replied, emphatically. “I do not want to marry you for a green card. I do not want this. We will be married because I love you and you should be my wife. Not for this making things easier.”

We kept walking now through the hall that leads to the main, vaulted terminal of Grand Central. I looked up at the constellations painted and illuminated with tiny lights and replayed his words. Repeatedly.

“Did. You just say we will be married?”

“Yes.” he said firmly.

I was shaken and lightheaded and pulled out my phone.


I don’t think this was the proposal I’d dreamed of as a kid.

But by the time I gave up on dreaming, the reality made for a much, much better story.

Happy proposalversary, Mister Sir.

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