Advice
So, Minx, A Negress and some RopeDude walk into a bar…
Yay! Gray’s put up the Second part o’ the podcast he, CunningMinx and moi did a few weeks back. The first part is here. I hear it is interesting. In case you don’t know, GrayDancer is one of them there RopeDuds and has the Ropecast. And the Lovely and Talented CunningMinx is the proprietress of…
Read MoreAsk The Negress: For the New Kids on the Block.
Putting up a kink-related Q&A from Formspring.me. Wanna see your question posted on my blog? Ask me now! I respond to all of ’em and questions that nudge me or seem to resonate for folks will make it here :-) Do you have any advice for people who are new to public scenes/BDSM in general?…
Read MoreIs that a threat…?
In a chat on Twitter, Mark S and I were bantering about things that tops sometimes use as threats in order to incite fear into the hearts (and genitals) of those (un)lucky enough to find themselves at their (lack of) mercy. I thought about my own reaction to threats, and why they don’t usually work…
Read More“A Single Gal’s Manifesto” by Sheryn B.
A woman I greatly admire and who I recognized as being one of those soul-family people when we first met recently wrote a blog post on FetLife. It kind of is the zenith to my recent post’s nadir-gazing miasma, and I’ve obtained her permission to repost it here.
Read MoreRace-play roll-up and ruminations.
You might not have known me back when I first started talking publicly about my experiences as a Black woman, into BDSM, as a submissive /slave identified person, who did scenes that incorporated and underscored racial issues in play. If you did, you remember the flamewars, fights, humiliating rejection, condemnation and various hootenannies that fell…
Read MoreMo’s nogamy.
Heart monogamy is how I’ve recently come to identify my idea of my optimal relationship structure. While I know many people eschew labels and frown upon being “boxed,†I see well-placed labels as a great way for people listening to me to grab onto what I’m talking about. I can then drag them along for…
Read MoreDon’t let it slide.
Too many people, overwhelmingly on the bottom / submissive side of the kink equation, have a tendency to have a “let it slide†attitude. You know. You meet someone, they are very aggressive on the first date, move too fast, but because you emerge unscathed, you “let it slide.†Someone pushes a limit, but maybe…
Read MoreMo’s Internet Dating Tips: Watch your feet.
Hey kids! I know not everyone here is on an internet dating site. But most of you have tried one if you’ve been single in the past decade of so. And on the more adult sites, there are often issues that one faces. I addressed the issue of crappy handles and titles in the last…
Read MoreWTF Wednesday: Tool Time + Play Time = FAIL.
I do not want to “Blame The Victim” in the case of a grim injury. But when the victim voluntarily let someone put an electric saw ANYWHERE NEAR their girl bits, my sympathy evaporates like rubbing alcohol poured on a sidewalk in Dubai in August. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Â …
Read MoreWhat kink is NOT. (Or: Yes, Rhianna getting beaten IS our business.)
I don’t do all that much in the celebrity gossip arena save for occasionally snarking. But a recent high-profile abuse case is straddling several areas of thought in my brains today. I know you may know this, but let me reiterate: simply because someone is masochistic, one cannot assume that they would also tolerate abuse.…
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