Whisper.

He leaned in close, his voice like raw silk, his breath in my ear, my breath catching in my throat as he whispered “You’ve been teasing me all night, haven’t you?”This man, a stranger who hadn’t taken strange liberties up until that point, held me transfixed with his voice alone, so intimate, so close only I…

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Three Tips for the New Kink Explorer!

I was recently asked by a publication for some quick tips and advice for couples interested in exploring BDSM to kink up bedroom play. I doubt the journalist will use the entirety of what I wrote…space constraints and all…but these three points are, I feel important for those just dipping their toes into the wild & wonderful world of BDSM. Here’s my quick-n-dirty recommendations for…

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Beware hunger.

I know quite a bit about appetites. I have some that surprise me in their violence, and others that embarrass me in their gluttonousness. My appetite for oblivion slid me about as far as someone can go before the tipping point into lethal alcoholism. And my sexual appetites are ones I control for fear of…

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One month in one post and…GO!

When one falls behind in something, it is often difficult to catch up. Falling behind, feeling overwhelmed, and then getting hit repeatedly with One Thing After Another can leave a Negress feeling…well. Like there is no way to really do justice to everything, so why bother? Well, that’s a shit attitude and the expectations I…

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“Race Play:” hitting the mainstream media…?

As a result of the fallout from Abiola Abrams most excellent column that dealt with non-consensual race play – in which I was quoted – I was contacted by The Grio, which is a pretty big deal news outlet geared towards African-Americans.  Or Blacks. Whichever you prefer. I’m all for brevity and I like saying “BLACK!” so I opt…

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Masters & Slaves & Love ~ Part One: Patrick Mulcahey’s Thoughts.

One of my friends who is also, secretly, someone I adore without boundary is Patrick Mulcahey. Not only is he one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever met on pretty much any topic involving Leather and BDSM, he’s also someone who walks the walk and talks the talk and steps up to the plate on many issues that…

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4:47 AM

A timid hand touches me where few ever touch… Hello…hello? Do you have a moment? I turn away, my heart excruciating squeeze of pain so long-present it has to find new ways to make its presence felt at every turn. I am sorry to bother you. I know we are busy but I am having…

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Big Ups to TT and missed Qs!

I just spent an amaaaazing hour speaking with the lovely and talented Tristan Taormino! What a rush…sometimes, life becomes awesome and you get to talk with people who have motivated and inspired you in your own journey towards self-actualization. I’m tickled plum that I can be where I am today and talk with Tristan! Listen to the…

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A master, an owner, a continuum…?

For years I’ve had elaborate explanations for what the differences are between the terms / titles “owner” and “master” since it seems people often use them interchangeably. And when I asked people why they chose one over the other, some answers were personal, others rambling, some generated more questions than answers. I hit upon an…

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I’m the 48%.

I’ve been going to see healthcare professionals about my sexual health since 1985. I was sixteen, and my boyfriend and I were fucking one another’s brains out with predictable results. I’d a scorching UTI, and Planned Parenthood was most accommodating. Since then, I’ve been quite attentive of my sexual health. Regular pelvics, started up my…

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