Dec 082008
 
(The name and the grammar have been (partially) changed / corrected
to (kinda) protect the innocent)

Mollena: Hi there…I suppose it has been an entire day since you sent that IM to me….and my gods were you up early in a Sunday!

gimmiesomebooty: lol yea

gimmiesomebooty: so how are you chocolate perfection?

Mollena: You are sweet. I’m OK! And yourself?

gimmiesomebooty: alone and oh so horny lol

Mollena: The perpetual quandary of man.

gimmiesomebooty: indeed

gimmiesomebooty: I think I’m an ok looking guy, I don’t think I HAVE to be single but I am

Mollena: Well, if one is at ALL discerning, often one finds themselves single.

Mollena: :-|

gimmiesomebooty: true

gimmiesomebooty: so why is it your single?

Mollena: ………

gimmiebooty: are you busy

Mollena: I’m at work…please don’t take my sporadic texts personally!

gimmiesomebooty: ok, so when can I make oral love to that sexy body

Mollena: :-o

Mollena: Wows!

Mollena: Um.

Mollena: :-?

gimmiesomebooty: told u I’m alone and horny and just feel like gettin nasty, if you were home I’d do a cam show for u

Mollena: The funny thing is you could still do one and it would look like work……

gimmiesomebooty: would u like me to?

Mollena: What does this entail, precisely?

gimmiesomebooty: see me naked, inserting my new dildo and when I bust see me lick it all up

Mollena: I think I can do without the licking up part…a personal preference of mine so early in the day….
gimmiesomebooty: would u get behind me with a strap on later

Mollena: I might consider it. But as that is something I consider to be pretty intimate, I think that would have to wait until I knew someone pretty well and was involved with him. Otherwise it feels very much like a professional transaction. “Hi, nice to meet you, let’s have sex, here’s your fee.” kind of a thing.

gimmiesomebooty: I hear ya but entertain me cause I’m beyond aroused

gimmiesomebooty: would u let me watch you and another guy

Mollena: *laughs* And if I obey your command to entertain you , does that mean you are in switch mode and ordering me to watch you jerk your cock off in your bedroom, Mister?

gimmiesomebooty: indeed lol no I don’t know just feel like being mad freaky is all

Mollena: =)

gimmiesomebooty: would u make me watch you fuck somebody else

Mollena: That really depends, sweetie.

Mollena: What type of relationship are you looking for? Or are you looking for a relationship at all?

gimmiesomebooty: I’d like to be your cuck

Mollena: Interesting.

gimmiesomebooty: ?

Mollena: And what would that mean for you?

Mollena: Do you enjoy having sex withheld? Enforced chastity? Personal service? Houseboy duties?

gimmiesomebooty: being your faithful bitch

gimmiesomebooty: I like being jealous and humiliated

gimmiesomebooty: ?

Mollena: :-)

Mollena: SO you live in [REDACTED] now? Are you originally from [REDACTED]?

gimmiesomebooty: yes

gimmiesomebooty: how would u cuck me

gimmiesomebooty: I’d love to lick you clean after you were fucked

Mollena: That’s pretty intense. I’ve never done that.
gimmiesomebooty: but you’d like to

Mollena: Well, as I am not in a relationship right now, and I don’t fuck around often if at all, there would be slim pickings on the sloppy seconds.

Mollena: Plus I really am looking for a partner. That doesn’t exclude having a good sexual relationship, but that is the energy I am mostly looking for.

Mollena: If that makes sense

gimmiesomebooty: I am too I’d like to be married to a black queen that owns and runs me

Mollena: Then I might gently advise a more low-key approach.

gimmiesomebooty: I’m sorry but I did say I’m beyond aroused

Mollena: If the first contact we have in chat is you wanting me to watch you jerk off that doesn’t reeeeeally say “Hello, I’d like to get to know you.”

gimmiesomebooty: I know I’m sorry

Mollena: Better!

Mollena: And your name, please?

gimmiesomebooty: [REDACTED]

Mollena: Hello {REDACTED]

Mollena: I’m Mollena, but you already knew that!

gimmiesomebooty: hello mollens

gimmiesomebooty: mollena*

Mollena: Excellent. I appreciate you taking the time to correct that.

Mollena: You mentioned you are a {REDACTED]…is that what brought you to {REDACTED]?
gimmiesomebooty: yea

Mollena: Are you independent or do you work with [REDACTED]?
gimmiesomebooty: independent

Mollena: Wow you must be good to have clientele here in SF… There is a LOT of competition.

gimmiesomebooty has signed out

Dec 012008
 

I don’t usually advertise myself as a switch. Why? Because I’m not, centrally, switch-focused. I have found a depth of fulfillment within my submissive nature that is pretty fucking startlingly WINtastic.

But every once in a while someone gets through the cracks and I think “Well, maybe, maybe I could switch…”

And I wish it were not so, but this seems to be the case with insanely attractive submissive men.

Almost Perfect...Wait! Who you callin' a size queen?!?!

I received a message on CollarMe that didn’t make me want to run screaming for the hills or rant insanely about the puerility of most of the membership on that particular site. But it was from a submissive. I idly scrolled down to the profile picture and holymotherfucking shit the man is gorgeous. GORGEOUS. And it seems that I am precisely his type.

Check and mate.

First off, there ain’t nothing much more attractive than someone who thinks that who you are is simply over-the-top fantastic. There aren’t busloads of men stopping in front of my flat looking for “That thick black blonde woman,” so when someone specifically digs me, I am thinking “OK, let’s look further.”

And then he’s smoking hot. Yay!

But submissive. Boo!

Or…not?

My ex-boyfriend, The Pizza Guy*, didn’t identify as a “dominant” per se. But our relationship worked out well while it lasted. And I know plenty of people who become involved with folks who fall outside of their desired core identification.

I rarely say “Never.” Primarily because to make that kind of call is hubris. And anyone who has read their mythology knows how well hubristic heroes fare in the end!

But I cannot help feeling a bit shallow and petty. If an equally sincere submissive with whom I might also have an interesting relationship approached me but was not some Adonis, would I consider a coffee date as readily? And if not, is that fair? If if not fair, who cares?

This is all probably moot. The flake factor on these sites is markedly overwhelming, and I probably will not wind up meetig this man. But when I am next at a Munch or a Kink Convention and meet that really really hot submissive, I may well not move them into the “ineligible” category quite so quickly.


*Someone remind me to blog about that later.
Oct 292008
 

I know it is tough. When you are surfing the interwebs to look for love, perhaps you lack the time to read every line of every profile of every woman into whom you want to stick your penis.

But please.

My gods.

Some of the responses I get to my profile.

This gem today in my mail from my ALT.com profile…

WOW -YOU AMAZE ME. YOU CUM stay with me 4 awhile. YUM – I’ll tie you to the bed till you say uncle. LOL Seriously I’d love to get to know you a lot better.

Seriously. NEVER.

This next one is less ridiculous and more along the lines of an awesome typo:

Having read your profile I’m not sure whether i’d want to kiss you, duck you senseless, or tie you down and beat the sass put of you.

If a sass-put is anything like a shot-put, I’ll pass. And I believe CA has laws against mallard mauling, but I’ll have to get back to you on that.

This next guy…holy shit.

Let me preface this with the fact that his picture is…well, it was him with a ……aw, fuck it.

Here is the photo he uses in his profile:

Seriously. Stop.

My desires is to gain control and not let the sub have any freedom. I want them to worship me like a God. My desires to my sub are to make them feel they cant do anything without me , make them into a doll and I, am the chains that move the doll. I have a years experience.

A year. A YEAR and you plan on Stepfording me?!?!

*chokes back a sob*

A most profound moment of Zen settled over my troubled soul like god’s hand on a restless sea when I received the following solicitation on the first contact …TEH FIRST MESSAGE, y’all…from a “person” on collarme.com:

damn you a big fine momma.you open to k9?

This is, at the VERY LEAST, a third date gambit.

I know you feel my pain, you who are online looking-for-love-or-a-reasonable-facsimile-thereof…