“I am already tempted to safe-word…”

This is always my thought when I am not involved in a relationship. and time goes by, and I have a play-date.

Which I have tonight.

The vagaries of physical tolerances comes to the fore and I wonder if, perhaps, the years of regular, hard play were an illusion.

Perhaps I was fooling myself into thinking that I enjoy pain, that my body will have forgotten those truly transcendent moments, that this was all a Really Desperate Measure to get sadistic motherfuckers to pay some attention to me, for a while.

It does NOT HELP to have a play-date on International Talk Like A Pirate Day with a friend who is not only British but also actually a sailor.

Fuck.