backlash

I’m starting to envy those who actually have time for “drop.” That whole “con-drop” thing isn’t something I’ve personally processed, it isn’t a cycle to which I’m accustomed, because I always have the next convention on the horizon. And the rare times I go over a month without a major kink event are the times…

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Service animal.

Having a memory as surreal as mine is, occasionally, amusing. I can recall some conversations with freakish clarity, be they the day before yesterday or Valentine’s Day 1993. But please don’t ask me what I ate for lunch yesterday. So this makes for fun times when I buy something for myself, totally forget, then feel…

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Ignorance = Freedom

On Sunday, September 5th, 2010, I got hit in the face with an epiphany about my journey in Leather, in slavery, that shifted my paradigm, re-routed a stifling blockage of self-pity, and enabled me to take back a part of me that felt broken and damaged.   It was a massive reset.   I was…

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Epiphany. [Courtesy the Sunday Times]

After being shoved into a Very, Very. Bad. Place emotionally following a conversation sparked by the death of Amy Winehouse, I’ve been floundering on some core issues. I had to wince to see so many people’s callous opinions, and to hear people opine that addicts just made “bad choices: ” that we chose to let ourselves…

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Left unsaid.

I have had a fucking crazy past month or so. And despite my usual puking all over the place about pretty much everything that happens, I’ve been oddly reluctant to post. There are several reasons for this.   First and foremost? I was reluctant to talk about some situations while I was still embroiled in…

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Salt.

I wrote about you again, btw I know. I see! Do you now? Well, yes, and this is me trying not to do the sad puppy eager for approval thing. I feel pathetic enough as it is There is no reason to feel ashamed of desiring positive acknowledgement from me. I was going to comment earlier but…

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I see what you did there.

I suppose I should know better...but why fight it when relinquishing control is so delicious?

I hate it when someone says “We have to talk.”   It doesn’t matter what comes after that. My hamsterbrain jumps right onto that Wheel of Misfortune and starts furiously scrambling. This is a reflex I have had for as long as I can remember. And it doesn’t fucking matter who says it or what…

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Adjusting the idle.

I have a hard time straight-up asking for advice. Partly because I am afraid of people doing that whole “I’m worried about you!” thing when I do. It seems often when I do say “Yeah, I’m struggling with this…can you help me?” a great deal of the time I get a response that pushes me…

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Not so goddamned fast….

There is little within the BDSM and Leather community circles that I take seriously serious, and that is not because I am irreverent about everything.   OK well maybe it is, a bit.   And maybe it is because fringe communities so often be takin’ so much so got-dammed seriously, I do not see that…

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