101 Things About Me.

1. I was born in New York Hospital.

2. I started reading when I was 3.

3. I lived, for a while, in an apartment on top of the Eagle Rock in Eagle Rock, CA

4. I accidentally flushed a turtle down the toilet once. I misunderstood fluid dynamics and surface tension, but I had a PLAN, dammit.

5. I went to Hunter College Elementary and

6. Hunter College High Schools, in NY.

7. I sang on the soundtrack for the film version of “The Wiz.”

8. I’m an alcoholic.

9. Mushrooms are fungus grown on shit and under no circumstances do I fucking want them near my body.

10. I am deathly afraid of those flapping waving inflatable arm guys.

11. I am addicted to research and all manner of communication

12. I am a Gemini: which means my Sun wa sin Gemini. My Mercuryis, too. My Moon & Jupiter & Pluto & Uranus are all in ^%$# Virgo. Sagitarius is my  Rising sign, and my Mars is there, too.  My Venus & Saturn are  in Taurus.

13. I am not “crazy” and it bothers me that people refer to me that way.

14. I have masturbated in lots of random and varied places but thus far my personal best is the trans-bay tube on the BART.

15. I think farting is hilarious.

16. I don’t like watching people have sex, in the live real-time way.

17. My Father was a Jazz musician, a hippie, a Born Again Christian, a member of the John Birch Society, and a radicalized Muslim, but not concurrently.

18. I am shy of people.

19. My Mom met my Dad through the first dating service that operated in New York City.

20. I did dozens of commercials and film and television jobs as a kid, including the original Orbit, Lil Debbie Snack Cakes, Razzles, Jack-In-The-Box, yadda yadda.

21. I have eaten roasted goat in the foothills of the Atlas Mountains with North African Tribes people.

22. I have more secrets than you think.

23. I am still very much in love with one of my former lovers. On a bad day, two.

24. I. Love. Ganesha! No, like I REALLY LOVE Ganesha. It is, actually, a pretty carnal sort of religiosity. Win.

25. I am terrible with financial issues.

26. Porkrinds are enjoyed by me upon occasion.

27. I like Guns-n-Roses, despite my best efforts not to.

28. I have a weakness for Richardson Butter Mints.

29. My Bra size is 38F

30. Shoe size is 8.5 US

31. I like bubble tea because the tapioca balls horrify me so it is kind of like “edge-play” every time I have one.

32. Can’t type worth shit.

33. I have maybe 2 teeth in my head that have no dental work on ’em. My teeth are horrible.

34. Though prone to falling, and falling hard, I have been fortunate enough to have never broken a bone thus far, Ganesha preserve me.

35. I LOATHE watermelon, cucumber, celery, cauliflower, eggplant, beets, organ meats (except hearts),coconut, durian, fennel…animal feet…

36. I used to work for the New York Shakespeare Festival and met a great many celebrities.

37. I have never injected drugs.

38. I lose my bootyginity months before my vaginity. (Catholic Boyfriend.)

39. I can find something sexy about almost anyone.

40. My Chinese birth symbols are Yin / Earth / Cock. But my actual personalities are FAR different than those predictions!

41. I pretend to be self-confident so that I can, occasionally, actually be so.

42. I was an extra in the Donald Fagen video  “Century’s End”

43. I adore Red Velvet Cake and will shamelessly acronymize it as RVC.

44. Speaking of videos I was also an extra in Billy Joel’s video for “Tell Her About It” and it sucked. Ugh.

45.  One of the few traits about people that unilaterally bug me is incuriosity.

46. People who crack their gum should be kicked in the genitals and throat-punched.

47. I’ve never had a threesome that involved multiple males.

48. I really would like to have a threesome that involves multiple males.

49) I hate cleaning.

50) I have never been on the Southern Hemisphere.

51) My father was on the USS Forrestal when the huge explosion and fire happened. John McCain was involved in this. Therefore, it is not too farfetched to say McCain almost killed my Dad.

52) I am Ms. SF Leather 2009.

53) Thud, not sting.

54) I simply adore Blue Diamond Wasabi & Soy Sauce Almonds.

55) I have several songs written about me and

56) One song actually named after me.

57) I have a serious fetish for hotel rooms.

58) I tend to develop hard crushes on people when I’m getting to know them, which sometimes they assume means I’m falling for them.

59) Popeye’s Fried Chicken = Excellence.

60) I love Monopoly, even though I am a crap capitalista.

61) I don’t get “bored.”

62) I give fantastic hugs.

63) I have a bit of Eczema on my hands. It gets worse when I’m stressed.

64) I only have 3 lower central incisors. (Most humans have 2)

65) I have paid income taxes since I was 5 years old.

66) I have never been to the southern hemisphere.

67) I was a Junior Soldier in the Salvation Army.

68) My Mother was a fashion designer.

69) I have been sober since March 14th, 2007

70) I LOVE Brussels sprouts.

71) I have been accused of, investigated on charges of and almost fired for perpetrating “sexual harassment” against a female co-worker,

72) I once put my hand into the loincloth of Keith David.

73) I have never broken a bone.

74) I am the last founding member of the Crowded Fire Theater Company and

75) I have our (soon to be extinct) original logo tattooed on my upper left arm.

76) I am very suspicious of grass.

77) I had one of the handful of anxiety attacks of my life while attempting to walk through a waist-high field of grass. Fuck grass.

78) I have never had a threesome with 2 guys.

79) I want to  have a threesome with 2 guys.

80) When I got sober I promised myself I would never lie again.  So, I no longer lie.

81) Yes that includes  “Little White Lies.”

82) Though I’ve been an Officially Kinky Executive Pervert and Submissive since 1996, only one person has ever put a collar on me, and I’ve not been anyone’s slave.

83) I cannot resist fresh baked goods and will eat them even if I am full.

84) I have 2 younger sisters and a niece.

85) I am not at all sure where my Father is.

86) I have only been 86ed from a bar / club once.

87) I graduated from Hunter High in 1987

88) I do not like listening to or watching recordings of myself.

89) I do not like the Hitachi Magic Wand. It is like a gnome doing Riverdance on my bits. Do not want.

90) I have never had a physical fight.

91) Slamming doors make me very angry.

92) 4-legged animals I have ridden: a donkey, a camel, an elephant, horses and a really big dog.

93) Spit, drool, saliva: call it what you will I find it somewhat horrifying.

94) I have never been married. Or even close.

95) Johnny Kemp hit on me once. Like, really hard. I declined, politely.

96) I was the first woman to march in the Stockholm Gay Pride Parade with the Scandinavian Leathermen’s group in their 35 year history!

97) I’m the 24th woman to hold the title of International Ms Leather.

98) I licked one of the Syrian sphinxes at the Pergamon Museum in Berlin.

99) I have a rather obsessive obsession with serial killers.

100) I am allergic to mold and cigarette smoke and VIOLENTLY allergic to Nag Champa incense.

101) If I get lost, it is almost certain I will break down and cry.