Mar 062015

As International Ms Leather 2010, I weathered my own share of controversy. The IMsL 2015 has already weathered quite a bit of controversy. Those of you who have been following along on FaceBook and FetLife don’t need a rehash, but suffice to say that we’ve been waging wars on many fronts, starting with this image, which was to be the 2015 t-shirt.


I saw it as problematic FIRST and FOREMOST because your main job as IMsL / IMsBB is outreach. Kiiiinda hard to do that with a dickgun shirt. Secondly, in this climate of terrible gun violence, I thought it was insensitive to have a sexually violent image on the shirt for a women’s Leather event. This isn’t a handshake-image.

Many people thought this was true. Still others thought it a “politically-correct over-reaction.” In the ensuing debate, some really busted shit happened. People I trusted violated my trust and insulted me. Lines were drawn and the conversation got real ugly. I was accused of being a hypocrite, because I have dome edgy scenes. As if engaging in consensual BDSM role-play means I cannot stand against non-consensual violence? How that makes any sense is beyond me. But I digress… Continue reading »

Jan 182015

Hey kids…it has been a while, innit?

Lots happening, and some more needs to happen before i can shakedown this blog and reopen it in the way I’d like to. Some seismic shifts have pushed about my little life’s coracle and I- we – have weathered them. Some waves have been rough and once or twice, I just wasn’t sure all wouldn’t be lost. But life is good. So good.


I just happened upon a bit of mainstream kink. Now, what with the debacle of The Film That Shall Not Be Named – lets call it Kinkymort -opening next month, I don’t feel like celebrating mainstreaming right now.

ad29bc2eBut when I see a piece of art in the form of music video that does the damn thing – and when it is a Woman of Color – my pervy ol’ heart leaps up.

FKA twigs, you win the internet for at least the next month. And kudos to Wykd Dave for some lovely rigging.


Dec 192014

One year ago today, a rather intriguing e-mail hit my inbox on OKCupid.

One year and one week ago today, in a very demanding conversation with my Higher Power, I’d let Him know I was done with these crazy dreams and schemes I’d had. I was depressed. I was just back from a wildly unsuccessful speaking tour. I was lonely, I was creeping on the end of my savings from the job I’d left in 2010. And I was tired.

i advised my HP that Id done everything I could. Lived large. Took the big risks. I was blessed with a home, thanks to the generosity of Karen & Laura, dba The Evil Jewish Lesbian Landladies. But this amazing situation, blessed as it was, wasn’t a forever home. And I was so tired of walking on my own. It wasn’t too much to ask that I have love and unconditional support…or was it?

And as the deadline for me buckling down and being serious about getting a Default World Job and coming to a place of peace where my being single didn’t have to mean I was miserable, this message popped up… Continue reading »

Sep 042014

1409861390734Dear Submissive…

Submission can, and should, be many things. From torturously difficult to lightly breezy, from profoundly sexual to sublimely spiritual. However. It outright ought not feel WRONG.

If / when it does, stop.

Stop and think.

Stop and think and check yourself.

Then protect the property.



 BDSM  Comments Off


Aug 092014

Doing a class for the SF Citadel this month! And Herr Meister himself will be there. How cool is THAT??!


“Dominance and Submission: Hot Fiction, Hotter Facts.”


IMG_184973794059738Wednesday, August 27, 2014 · 8:00 PM –10:00 PM Location: SF Citadel 181 Eddy St, San Francisco, CA Cost: $20 at door, $15 in advance- see link below for advanced ticket purchase Dress code: Whatever makes you comfortable!

Description: Many of us have hot fantasies of giving over control or taking charge in the bedroom. for some, these desires are so sexually charged that the lure of dominance and submission becomes . But how do you go from an egalitarian relationship to one where someone calls the shots? how do you manage to be dominant without being domineering? is it possible to be submissive without being spineless? how do you negotiate this delicate dance of power without pissing everyone off? and do we REALLY need if you’re curious about dominance and submission, or have been exploring power exchange and are looking for new insights into your play, welcome! in this class, we will explore different types of PE (Power Exchange) relationships, from top and bottom to dominant and submissive to master and slave in all of the wonderful variations! We will be covering many of the intricacies of managing these dynamics such as:


Negotiating with yourself, and with your partner(s).

Assessing Needs, Wants and Desires

Physical, Mental and Emotional Safety

Whether you’re interested in the private intimacy of bedroom play or wish to delve into the broader kink community, you’ll have a safe space to ask your questions, discuss your desires, and kick around your kinks! Bring your questions, concerns, curiosities and an open mind!

Class from 8-10pm, doors open at 7:30pm Cost: $20 at the door, $15 in advance using Purplepass: Continue reading »

Jul 222014 my eye on ya...It’s the same mantra and hand wringing every few years.


“It was So. Much. Better in the (insert decade prior to current decade)!”

When people bemoan the broader acceptance and cultural destigmatization of BDSM and scoff at the hoi polloi who ruined the glory days, I can’t help but wonder what they are really mourning. Continue reading »

Jun 122014
...just put your lips together and blow.

…just put your lips together and blow.

Howdy from Austria. Land of schnitzel & secondhand smoke.

It has been quite a stretch of time since I have blogged. Those who are connected to me virtually via Twitter or better yet Facebook have been on the receiving end of snippets and sketches and bits about the past few months. Part of me wants to go back and reconstruct what is an amazing journey…but realizing that there are foundational pieces of our story that can’t be shared at the present has me resigned to leave it as it is, for now. An outline, a sketch, and to turn back at a future time to fill in the color, melody, nuance, details, sights and emotional depth once I am free to tell the thing as it truly is.

A few months ago I took an INSANE trip to my former home of San Francisco from my once and present home in New York, so that I could share a story. I am indebted to all of the Bawdy Storytelling fans who voted for me to appear in the 7th Anniversary show, and even more indebted to the people who donated to make that insanity happen.

When I returned from SF, my owner asked where he could see my performance. I advised it might take a little while before that happened…and yesterday, it did! We settled into bed, and I had to force myself to watch myself in the video (a thing I dread). Herr Meister was at a bit of a disadvantage because not only am I speaking at a pace appreciably more rapid than I do for his benefit, the language barrier becomes marked when you add in slang and shortcuts. A few times we had to stop while I explained, for example, what I meant by my comment that hesitancy in dominance is like a cold bucket of slime on my pussy. And I reassured him that he was not one of the slime throwers. He seemed to love listening to the telling. Continue reading »

Mar 142014

Seven years ago today, I was in rehab, on about six different medications to try to keep me alive but sedated so I wouldn’t have seizures. Because roughly 10% of alcoholics who stop drinking cold turkey are killed by brain seizures.

I was ashamed and terrified but determined to try to live.

I met my demon that first night, and we ave grown so much since then.

I had a dream about a tattoo of that date. My counselor told me it was a bad idea. “First-timers relapse within the first year at the rate of over 75%. You don’t want that reminder when it is important to you to continue to focus on your recovery.”

Well of course that only made me more determined and I said “I will not relapse. But if I DO and I somehow survive that I’ll go back, get an X through this date and get the next one below it. And the next. As many as it takes.”

But I like this one just fine.

Today is seven years later and the shock of abundance & joy in my life grows daily.

Thank you to the friends who stuck around…and the ones who did not.

Thank you to my owner, for showing me the miracles are still happening.

Feb 162014

rose Photo courtesy of Sex with Rose

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #56? Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Why I Post Nude Photos (and blog about sex)
Discovering Myself Through My Strap-On
Sex Toy Shaming and Bigoted Wise Cracks, FTW!

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Aftercare and BDSM Play
Two worlds

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Erotic Fiction

Continue reading »