Mar 242010

photo courtesy of @Viviane212

So often one wonders how they wind up who they are. At least I do. I will be in a moment, living, thinking, doing whatever it is I’m doing and then part of my consciousness will pull back for a moment and say to the rest of my consciousness “Whoah. Really? Is this really happening? ‘Cause…well…you know. That’s pretty….wow. Just, yeah.”

I am just back from a multi-stage trip that took me to Chicago for SINSations In Leather and then to New York for …well, for so much more than I have even been able to process. For those who are unaware, life’s been hurtling along in many ways, some good, some a bit scary…but good.  I’m no longer an employee of Penthouse Inc by way of serving as Sr. Editor for Bondage and ALT. Thank Ganesha I’m out of debt, in a rent-controlled flat, and able to collect Unemployment Insurance. I hardly had time to soak up this life shift but I was off to Chicago and home to New York. Continue reading »

Jan 132010

Sex Ed: Best Sex Writing 2010 Takes On Race Play, Swinging, And “Sexy Dwarfs”

The title of Best Sex Writing 2010 may mislead some people — this (mostly) isn’t porn, but rather a collection of essayistic pieces on topics ranging from condoms to fisting.

Which isn’t to say the book — edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel and with an intro by Esther Perel — isn’t hot. “BDSM and Playing With Race,” by Mollena Williams is as titillating in its violation of taboos as it is informative in its portrayal of the BDSM community. Williams writes,

For me, humiliation is a broad-brush full-bore way for me to feel the worst of how I feel about myself, give it away to someone, and have them hold it. […]

Add to this mix the humiliation of years of racism, oppression, the struggle for identity. Add to this living in a country built by your ancestors and one where, in your parents’ memory, your ancestors were living in segregation.

Imagine, instead of covering up that scar, that wound, pulling it open, letting that suppurating pain see the light of day, bare, open and painful, but able to breathe, to heal, and so find peace in surviving it.

Another standout is Betty Dodson’s “Sexual Outlaw,” about her post-menopausal discovery of a lesbian S/M support group: it’s both a powerful refutation of the notion that women over 50 aren’t sexy, and a sexy exploration of the idea that fucking is all about power. And Janet Hardy’s “The Portal,” about fisting, fingering, and general vagina appreciation, is dirty fun (example: “I do, however, like men. And since they don’t have cunts, we use mine.”). Continue reading »

Nov 202009

Look, Ma! New Tech!

Welcome to what will probably be a new regular feature on The Perverted Negress!

I can talk and you can listen and I don’t have to fucking type. What’s not to LOVE?!

Check out the post on race play inspired by Jaki, who sent me a message on FetLife and then motivated me to respond.

Now, with no further buttfuckery, you can listen to me nattering for a bit here!

Obviously, this isn’t comprehensive but I hope it gives a little insight to interested parties and the curious. Feel free to post your comments, but be advised, asshole douchebaggery won’t be tolerated. I will hex you. Srsly.

Love and fluffybunbuns!


Nov 182009
When googling images for slave this is the #1 hit. Yep.

When googling images for "slave" this is the #1 hit. Yep.

You might not have known me back when I first started talking publicly about my experiences as a Black woman, into BDSM, as a submissive /slave identified person, who did scenes that incorporated and underscored racial issues in play.

If you did, you remember the flamewars, fights, humiliating rejection, condemnation and various hootenannies that fell out thereafter.  I never thought, lo these many years later, not only would these issues still be discussed but actually have tracked my progress and growth as a member of the Leather Community, teacher, speaker, writer and educator. Even more now than ever.

And so it goes.

I’m thicker-skinned these days, praise Ganesha.

I often receive messages from people asking me rather broad-stroke vague questions about this VERY challenging topic.

I got a very thoughtful and provocative email from someone who asked me a lot of really good questions.

I’m going to reprint the message below, while I think about how to respond.

Feel free to post your own thoughts. But keep it respectful or I’ll pinch you. Super hard.

Here are some posts to help you catch up on some of my thoughts on the issue…

Race Play Interview – Part I

Race Play Interview – Part II

Race Play Interview – Part III

Race Play Interview Part IV

And that link over there on the right is to the new Best Sex Writing book, due out very soon. I have an essay on this very topic in there, too. Just in case I missed SOMEONE having access to my insanity.

Continue reading »

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