This seems like an odd statement to be compelled to make, but since I’ve heard it from multiple sources in 3 countries, I’ll address it. I am not “retired” from the Leather/Kink/BDSM community lecture “circuit.” I was never “retired” from the Leather/Kink/BDSM community lecture “circuit.” The tapering off of my appearances was not my *choice.*…

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BY THE MAGNIFICENT SAM GRAVES!

I have been paying especially close attention to my negative self-talk for the past year or so. And actively launching rebuttals. At first this seemed kind of fucking stupid (LOOK THERE SEE HOW EASY IT IS TO SMASH YOURSELF?!?) but I am never daunted by the ridiculousness of my harebrained schemes. I say a LOT…

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Travel is draining. Traveling with an injury is very draining. Traveling with an injury and then having to manage your beloved’s struggles is…really…very…draining. I consider it a miracle that I’m in a relationship where, on average, 85% of our time is spent together and the overwhelming majority of THAT time is a delight. What that…

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Well, damn! Thanks to your votes, I made the People’s Choice for Kinkly 2019! I promise to keep it kinky…even it it only is my fro! I am very grateful to be included amongst this illustrious crew of writers, thinkers, perverts and lovers of love. Stay tuned for my sex toy pick , because apparently…

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Life Evolves. Things change. People grow, and growth is beautiful. I have realised something in the past couple of mornings of my “Slavecation.” And that is, Lizzo in the morning is crucial at this stage of my life. I am grateful that our power exchange is a living, breathing entity. I am going to have…

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A few weeks back, I received a note from Rich Juzwiak, a guy who writes for the column “How to Do It” on Slate.com. He asked me for input on a query he’d received from a Black woman concerning BDSM and racism. And lookie here, my name pops up as a good source! Gotta love…

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We are on the road a great deal, and cooking while on the road is a risky proposition. You never know, when you rent a house, what the state of the kitchen will be. When we ARE at home, I often hit that food-box life, so as to avoid adding substantially to the compost piles…

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In having an intense moment of deep connection with my higher power, I’m moved to share. My personal relationship with my manifestation of the divine is…complicated…by my logic and skepticism. And yet, just now, when I was somehow able to create a visualization that actually quieted my active mind (not a thing that ever works…

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When I first entered the BDSM/kink “community,” I realised that, in addition to being referred to as a “n00b” [or newbie by the less nerdy kinksters] I was also slapped with the label “fresh meat.” And treated accordingly…for a few moments. Due to my particular circumstances [I was immediately involved in a restricted relationship and…

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Five Years Ago Today, I received possibly the most Austrian marriage “proposal” in the history of ever. We had lunch today in Grand Central, to commemorate the afternoon that Der Spousemeister, agitated after a weaksauce meeting with an arrogant lawyer, seemed like he might have proposed. How does this happen, you ask? Well, lemmie tell…

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