Moving the bar on “healthy.”

Sep 262011
 

For the uninitiated: it is a common practice among kinksters to default "lower-case" (and thereby diminutize) the term submissive/slave and capitalize Dominant/Masters Which pisses me off.

I’m unplugging today, the way I often do when I feel like I’m about to short short-circuit on emotional shit.  It is post Folsom weekend.  The Dominant Guy and his wife are headed back home, and I barely held it together through the weekend as I fretted about not seeing him for an extended period of time. I’m in the beginning of rehearsing for a show, couch surfing for a few months, and thinking I’m probably setting myself up for a massive crash.

 

It isn’t all that easy for me to think about my life in terms of what is safe and healthy because it is so relative, and because I am still getting to know who I am without alcohol to erase emotional difficulties. Four and a half years isn’t much time in recovery, and every day feels like a new adventure.

 

Strong emotions…at least the way I experience them…are rough. I have a slight degree of synesthesia, and am easily triggered to full physical emotional and spiritual recall as a result of certain stimuli.

 

Add to that I’m a pretty twisted pervert and it is really tough, some days,  to figure out what “healthy” means.

 

Struggling with this today I was surfing Twitter and trying so hard to muster the energy to take my bruised body and put it back into the play of the default world when an eye-catching post crossed my timeline. Continue reading »

A “Right” to public sex?

Dec 072009
 

I love the Folsom Street Fair. I love that there is a day in the year that hundreds of thousands of freaks and gawkers run around being freaky. I love that we are given this leeway, and I love that our local government supports the Leather Community the way that it does.

I am not so sure that I am entirely positive on this recent development.

Every year there are a handful of complaints about the sexual antics at the fair. This is pretty normal. Folsom pushes boundaries, and this is something to be expected. It usually is addressed in a low-key manner, and is forgotten within a few weeks.

Today, I saw an editorial in the SF Weekly, decrying a proposal to set up “public sex tents” at Folsom. This sounded a little extreme, and I thought it was probably some sort of scare-tactic to ruffle the feathers of those who are already not fans of Folsom, and to build momentum in the increasing conservatism in San Francisco.

“Public sex tents? Now there’s an idea that should have been shot down the second it was announced from the mouth of a member of the “leather community” in response to complaints about public sex at Folsom Street Fair and its smaller sibling fair, Up Your Alley.

Instead, it appears that at least one of our local leaders (Supervisor Bevan Dufty) has agreed to take the matter “under advisement.” Since our local leaders are having trouble speaking the obvious, we will: Public sex is not appropriate at Folsom Street Fair or anywhere else. Even in San Francisco.” Continue reading »

Sunny with a 98% chance of masturbation.

Sep 262008
 

Folsom weekend!  

Thank the gods that my friend Julie went to the UK this week and left me her car, because it is infinitely more preferable for me to panic-pack a metric-fuckton of fetish wear and saucy clothing and throw it all into the trunk of her car than it is for me to thoughtfully plan outfits.

What?!

Besides, a pervy girl has gotta be able to dress fly on the fly.

Critically, I also ran all of my errands, got the thyroid meds for the brocat #A, and my beloved top hat back from the ex-un-boyfriend.

I had a crazy momentary flirtation with The Red Rubber Dress this morning.  It IS teh fabulous and of super heavy gauge, and therefore far more forgiving that the average latex dress.  But I couldn’t bear the thought of getting a bottle of lube and greasing myself up.

Not me.

Not this weekend. 

So now I get to go be sassy pervy Negress-On-The-Spot, and explain to my overwhelmingly white audience how hot it is to do really filthy nasty edgy play on the precipice of racial and cultural cliffs & crevasses…and why that absolutely are never ever allowed to initiate the aforementioned play with PoC.

 Gods, I need to get laid. 

Just a nice hard slammy brutal fuck up against a wall over the edge of a cushion across the floor with wails and rugburns and that metallic taste in your mouth that is so gorgeously generated by arousalpanic.

 More likely, though, it will be me and my Wahl Vibrator.

Which I, thankfully, remembered to pack.

I love hotels.

I love masturbating.

 This, at the very least, guarantees me a BIT of fun this weekend, stag status be damned!

…Folsom Weekend Looms…

Sep 182008
 

…and I am pretty stoked to have been invited to present a class at the Folsom Fringe Event. This is the…what…fourth? Fifth? time I’ve taught a class there. There are many cool folks teaching lots of cool classes. I am gonna hold forth on the not-at-all-controversial “race play” class. Yeah, I rule.

Working, as I do, for an Evil Empire, (yay!) we will have a booth at Folsom. This is the first time that they have sponsored the Fair, so that is rad. What is amusing is that the “Code Of Conduct” for employees working the fair specifies that fetish-wear is not permissible.

???!!?1!1!?!?!!?!!

We’d better figure out how to make those t-shirts hella sexy, and fast.

We are in the process of ordering shwag, lining up pr0nstars, booking kinky performance artists, and flying out dominatrices for our big Folsom Afterparty.

Lots of this is far cooler on the page than it is from a cubicle in Sunnyvale.
But my main concern today is…do I wear the same corset I wore last year,

Yeah, it IS pretty sweet!

Yeah, it IS pretty sweet!

or splurge for a new one?

And if I do splurge, can I make it a business expense…?