“Big P” is also a pleasure to behold, no?
One of my friends who is also, secretly, someone I adore without boundary is Patrick Mulcahey. Not only is he one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever met on pretty much any topic involving Leather and BDSM, he’s also someone who walks the walk and talks the talk and steps up to the plate on many issues that other Leatherfolk decline to address. While I will never, ever forget how he took a stand, unlike so many other gay white Leathermen, in the face of the flagrant racist blackface act that was booked at the Portland Eagle. I won’t forget that, even as hundreds of other Leathermen belittled those of us who pointed out the hateful underpinnings of this act, he not only spoke to he spoke to his peers, calling out some pretty ugly truths.
Over the years, Patrick and I have had conversations about our lives, and about Leather, and about power exchange and so when I learned that he was doing a keynote at a Leather convention known for a very strong Master / Slave presence, and even more specifically aligned to certain beliefs that have become cannon on the M/S community, I was intrigued. And then I was hopeful that he might actually step up and share some of the more troubling realities of modern consensual m/s relationships And, of course, he did not disappoint.
Below I am, with Mr. Mulcahey’s permission, posting the complete text of his speech. I cant read it without goosebumps and tears an…well. A broad palate of emotional reactions.
I’ll be talking, a bit more, in another post, about my own struggles and thoughts on love within the Master / Slave dynamic. I have very strong opinions on this topic…and my opinions don’t align with the social climate of “slaves are property and love will spoil, degrade and denigrate the purity of the master / slave relationship.” I have some very dear friends on all sides of this debate. And they’ve come to their own conclusions based on their experience, and their desires. It is less comforting to know that many come into the community see how others behave, and simply pick up on those beliefs without examining the level of resonance that they carry personally.
I invite you to read Mr. Mulcahey’s words, see where they resonate, and open your heart for a few minutes.
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