Dear Mollena…

photo by melvin moten (. erocrush)

photo by melvin moten (m. erocrush)

Dear Mollena…

It is tough out here.

When you are single, even tougher. You have been trying, with not much success, to be active in your search for a partner.

You have heard so many stories and seen so much that dents your already battered heart. I know I am not alone, and I want you to know you are not alone.

It is tough to be you. I see that, and I salute your strength.

It is difficult to maintain boundaries against those who would have you and yet damage you in the acquisition. But please, stay strong.

When they tell you you “aren’t very submissive,” be grateful that they have demonstrated to you a lack of understanding of what submission truly is.

When they mock your boundaries as “too strict,” remember your boundaries are yours, and there to protect you, when no one else can do so as well as you.

When you have to walk away from Yet. Another. Potential match who has not held up their end of the bargain, hold your head high because you have stayed in integrity.

When you feel so alone that your heart would claw its way from your body, hold it close and remember it is your first duty, your Prime Directive, to protect the property and that you can take pride in doing so with compassion, with patience, and with love.

When you are told you are “Too needy / loud / quiet/ small / fat / old / young / dark / light / jaded / inexperienced / difficult / easy” remember that has NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with what is being projected onto you.

When they tell you you are acting like a spoilt princess because you clearly outline what is and is not acceptable to you, remind them that you have worked hard for that fucking crown, and its Empress, not Princess.

When you feel like compromising, remember you are the most valuable property on the planet as far as you are concerned. Do not give that up for just anyone, especially not in desperation or hunger.

When you feel doubtful, come back and read this. It will always be true.



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  1. missbhavens on December 12, 2013 at 7:11 PM

    You’d better believe it.

    • Beatrice on December 13, 2013 at 10:05 AM

      Wow! Thank you! xoxo

  2. Del Tashlin on December 12, 2013 at 7:47 PM

    I love you, I support you in looking for what you need, not just what you see. I’m still deciding if I am going to look again or surrender for a while. But when I do decide to search, may I find someone who has the same self-knowledge, the same assuredness, the same clarity of thought as you have. Ashe.

  3. Belladonte on December 12, 2013 at 8:23 PM

    Give up the love woman. How I needed this right about now!.

  4. Viola Johnson on December 12, 2013 at 8:43 PM

    Keep the words of that wise woman’s letter close to your heart.

  5. Marian on December 12, 2013 at 8:47 PM

    You know what I love about you? Your you-ness. If you weren’t so you, I don’t know what I would do.


  6. Sexxyred1 on December 12, 2013 at 9:42 PM

    Thank-you so much for posting these words. It is indeed hard and I did so need for my heart and soul to hear them. Bright Blessings and Dark Dreamings.

  7. Kyle Jones on December 12, 2013 at 10:14 PM

    Like someone else said, you’d better believe it, Empress. We all deserve to be respected and loved not in spite of our boundaries and expectations but because we love ourselves enough to hold those lines. You are sweet and strong and amazing. I salute you, too, darlin’

  8. DeLano on December 13, 2013 at 2:52 AM

    Every word of this is true. Hang on. Hang in. Nothing is worth giving up who you are and what you mean to yourself. Been there, done that. Not. Worth. It. Continue to kick ass, Mollena. You’ll find what you need.

  9. Suz deMello on December 13, 2013 at 9:07 AM

    Thank you. Printing this out. So reflective of my journeys.

  10. Molly on January 6, 2014 at 2:36 AM

    As i wrote in my 20 of 2013 about you…. I am sitting here cheering at my computer at this piece. I spent last night on the phone with a woman new to the sub ‘business’…. this was one of the things I really tried hard to get across to her. As I said to her, remember you are the prize, the beautiful, glorious, fabulously sexy prize, he has to impress you just as much as you have to impress him!


  11. Jane on January 12, 2014 at 11:40 PM

    What an amazing post, Mollena. So strong and beautiful. Bravo! Jane xxx

  12. jen on January 14, 2014 at 12:33 PM

    i just stumbled upon your page….

    i totally <3 this! You are so incredibly eloquent and have put words to things i've felt my whole life.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you.