Submission: rarely easy, always worth it.

Seriously. This is a town in Austria.

One of the things I am pondering mightily is the reality of submission as it is lived vs. the hot & horny fantasy of d/s. A time ago, I went to the Center for Sex & Culture​ to see Laura Antoniou​ talk about stuff. Not many people beside myself were there, because jaded-ass San Francisco…

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Pride without prejudice.

Sometimes I don’t realize what I’m missing until I have it. Experiencing The Composer‘s pride & delights in my achievements brought to the fore of my thoughts today the fact that my previous dominants seemed very much to focus on making certain my achievements were put into “proper perspective.” Underscoring that I was no better than…

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Tell Me You Want Me.

As someone who is submissive, not only in terms of power-exchange relationships but also quite sexually submissive, I field a lot of questions about what that means. “So, do you just, like, lie there?” “You don’t care what happens to you in bed?” “Will you just do whatever they tell you?” “I assume you have…

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Whisper.

He leaned in close, his voice like raw silk, his breath in my ear, my breath catching in my throat as he whispered “You’ve been teasing me all night, haven’t you?”This man, a stranger who hadn’t taken strange liberties up until that point, held me transfixed with his voice alone, so intimate, so close only I…

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Beware hunger.

I know quite a bit about appetites. I have some that surprise me in their violence, and others that embarrass me in their gluttonousness. My appetite for oblivion slid me about as far as someone can go before the tipping point into lethal alcoholism. And my sexual appetites are ones I control for fear of…

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Why I am officially a Cannon Fan.

I’m not often asked to play. I don’t wanna dive into the reasons for that, because I have a Demon who loves to chew idly on the deepest recesses of my guts by idly speculating it is because I’m a fat dowdy blowhard that no one really wants, anyway. Most of the time I don’t…

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Service. Every Day.

My memory is, on a good day, unreliable. On a bad day, it is achingly evocative, stunningly accurate, and capable of processing, it seems, every moment in my life in one breathtaking, eviscerating Technicolor swoop at the most inopportune moments. And the trains-of-thought it pulls…well. Seemingly random and yet cripplingly logical, I can go from…

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Accepting your submissive self.

Some anonymous person asked me the following on Formspring…and I felt more like talking to them rather than writing about it. Admitting my submissive side is one of the hardest things that’s happened to me. I don’t know what to think or do with myself anymore. I wonder if it’s a result of past sexual…

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A Lust of Shakespearean Dimensions.

“The Taming of the Shrew” is a problematic show. The main plotline revolving, as it does, around a woman being forced into an arranged marriage to an apparent loony who then proceeds to beat and starve her into submission. Literally. There is another plotline but that shit is boring and I don’t give a motherfuck…

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