I’m not often asked to play. I don’t wanna dive into the reasons for that, because I have a Demon who loves to chew idly on the deepest recesses of my guts by idly speculating it is because I’m a fat dowdy blowhard that no one really wants, anyway.
Most of the time I don’t believe her.
SO! When someone DOES invite me to trip the kink fantastic, and I feel a good sort of connection to them, and I haven’t heard any Bad Shit about their skills, and none of my Rumbly Inside Voices are suddenly on alert, even for “No Apparent Reason,” I’ll say yes. A little bit ago, I was hanging out in one of the informal lounge areas at Kinko De Mayo, a really fun event in Ohio. I was unwinding from having presented a class, and was shooting the shit with another presenter. I’d met Cannon a few times in the past, and in the past few years he was cropping up as someone with a passion to learn and teach about rope. In the course of our conversation one of his partners, Tifereth joined us. They both mentioned that the other person in their family, Fen, sent her salutations and was bummed she wasn’t able to make the event. We talked about the rigors of presenting, news and notes from around the scene, some juicy gossip, and we even told on ourselves, when it came to hard-won lessons and “Fucking Opportunities for Growth” that, despite occasionally inducing winces, ultimately mold us into who we are. I was privately impressed at the degree of humility Cannon displayed in sharing about some of his own “Growth Ops,” as he did so with a candor and self-effacing humor that, frankly? I don’t observe in many dominant type people. It was refreshing to see that, and to hear of the credit he paid his partners in facilitating his growth as a dominant.
As the conversation hopped and sprinted and meandered, eventually, as it should, to rope, I mentioned how I’d had a rather disappointing moment during a negotiation to play. Due to a rotator cuff issue, I am not able to assume the Tried-And-True “takate-kote” position favored by…well….Almost. Every. Rigger. Who does Japanese-style rope bondage when creating a base for a rope scene. When I mentioned I can’t maintain it safely/comfortably for more than a few minutes, that Rigger said “Oh, well we can’t do rope then. That’s the basis for my ties.” and decided we’d not incorporate rope into the scene. Mind you, I have been rigged hundreds of times without that particular tie, but the fact that this rigger dismissed me as a potential rope bottom because of my limitation broke my heart a little.
Cannon lit up. “I’ve been working on a tie…” he began, with that look I do so love to see in a fellow pervert. That mix of pure deviousness and childlike glee. “…a tie that specifically avoids that position. I would love to share that with you, if you’d be interested in doing a scene with me.”