Sep 022009

demotivatorsLonelinessI’m lonely and it is making me sad.

I feel as though the further along a travel in my journey in this life, I am becoming very fluid in some areas and very, very uncompromising in others.

I receive unilateral support in this. “Don’t compromise! Be You! You are worthy! Good for you for sticking to your guns and making sure your needs are met!” say people…and sometimes I believe them.

There is an especially rocky Kuiper belt of emotional shite plaguing my head. I  know what I  need in a relationship…I can feel it, taste it in my heart, but see nowhere yet to have that need met. I’m in a rather surreal situation. I travel quite a bit, meet literally thousands of people in the community in which I live. I am about as public as I can be without having a network talk show or cable series (and hey why ain’t I got one of them yet?!?!) and so no one can accuse me of hiding my candle under a bushel.

But this creates the Appearance Of Inapproachability. Lots of people feel as though that presenter they listened to for 90 minutes “MUST be booked solid to play!” That isn’t really true. Or they assume that I must have very high standards and wouldn’t possibly want to play with them. And interestingly, that half-truth smokes the deal.

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