Nov 242008
 

In my experience, Lifestyle female Dominants are among the rarer critters in the plains and valleys of the BDSM / Leather Lifestyle Landscape.

These women are often beset by hordes of male submissives.

It sounds like an awesome proposition no? To have packs of men swooning at your feet. Who wouldn’t want to be the worshipped center of attention, with gifts and tribute flowing in from all sides? And you, on a mighty throne, elevated and surrounded by adoring legions of swooning gorgeous slavish male Adonii??

Not quite!

The grass is always greener…

I got a sneak peek into the lamer side of being a Fem Dom the other day.

Let me state & reiterate: I ‘m not a dominant. My profiles on various dating sites are clear on this.

I’m easy, though. I don’t really mind someone writing to me who maybe has missed that I’m not a dominant. Even though the little box where you indicate your preference is an easy thing to take in when perusing profiles. That is one of the first things people do, usually: verify compatibility via the person’s checklist.

So, when I get an email from a submissive, I wonder how they could have missed that.

Like this guy. Let’s call him KnockMyNuts69.

 

He e-mailed me thusly:

I am a very submissive male masochist that hopes you will enjoy hurting and humiliating me for your amusement. I live and work XXXXXXREDACTEDXXXXXX and often travel to SF. I hope that we can get to know each other better.

Your humble slave
KnockMyNuts69

I thought, OK, well, no. And I sent back the following message:

 

Greetings!

I am wondering if you read my profile…?

Thanks!

~Mollena

 

I received a response back, with the following….

Yes Mistress Mollena,

I have read your profile and it excites me very much. I do not really understand the part about you working for an adult website and why that would be a concern to one anonymity. But I am a submissive masochist eager to serve beautiful dominate sadistic women such as yourself. I hope we can get to know each other better.

Your humble slave
KnockMyNuts69

OK, well, then I thought, no, I do not think you did, KnockMyNuts69.

And I am not EVEN going to go into your use of the word “dominate” I’ve already ranted about that, and I am done for 2008.

I sent back this message:

It has nothing to do with my working for an adult website.

You clearly did not read my profile or you would not be addressing me as “Mistress” or approaching me to top you.

Then I did a triple take to receive this rather bizarrely scathing response to my 2-line mail:

Well I tried to read your profile but it is just SO BORING and convoluted that it is meaningless.

Let’s analize you profile … line number 1

Please take a moment to check out my blog here in ALT… XXXXXXXX  it

You blog is empty. This is the first line of your profile, what kind of impression does that make? “take a moment to check out” my empty blog.

Does your blog really give insight your “creaking smoky rusted hyena-patrolled labyrinthine workings of my internal processes”?

And will it “certainly score some points” with you? Well i read it and what do I get?

I could go on and on but this way to BORING. Oops did I get to the point too fast … should I of said it is way to … blue colored, grainy, fuzzy, unclear, obtuse, tedious, long-winded, self-important, ponderous, did I say tedious, un-compelling, uninspiring, pretentious, pointless, demotivating, superfluous, lame, and just way too long.

YAWN my I am grouchy tonight. maybe that’s because i am tried of this boring crap

Nice.

Well, he has one point. The link on my profile goes to my previous blog on that site, however I left that link there for the benefit for those who might have had that previous blog hotlinked.

But whatever.

That subtlety would be outside of the interest of this individual.

Good luck finding a partner, dude.

Is it me, or is this just mean for no fucking reason?? I am tickled to have gone from very exciting to exceedingly boring in one fell swoop…whatever shall I do???

Dom women, you have my empathy.

Nov 192008
 

I absolutely cannot kill my internal eternal optimist.

Many have, inadvertently, tried to quell Little Mo’s bright-eyed bushy-tailed wellspring of hopeless romanticism.

“You never know!” she’ll pipe up in hopeful, dulcet tones “Stranger things have happened! Sometimes people find wonderful folks online! Give it a try Mo!”

SO, I open my in-box on yet another site for kinky folks, and see what the tide of fortune had washed my way.

(Details have been altered to protect the baffling.)

 

I am a ## yo Caucasian male who, like you, is a non-smoker, although I do drink occasionally.
I would like to tie you up, blindfold and gag you, humiliate and punish you when you are bad (and even when you are good), and force you to cum over and over again while I am doing these things to you.
I PROMISE that you can trust me. I worked for {BIG ASS] Bank for ## years. People trusted me with their financial affairs, and keeping them confidential, so you can trust me with complete control over your body.

It has been my experience that Black women tend to be more submissive, and very caring and compassionate. This is why I am writing to you. I hope to be equally caring by forcing you to enjoy your submission.
I hope to receive your email soon.

 

BY THE HOLY HAND GRENADE OF ANTIOCH….we are in the midst of a financial crisis of Brobdingnagian proportions, and you flaunt your …your…MAD ACCOUNTING SKILLZ…to entice me?!?!?!  Who are you, Herbert fuckin’ Kornfeld?!?!  

It Wuz Always 'Bout Tha Numbahs

It Wuz Always 'Bout Tha Numbahs

 

And, OK…see…*fizzing*

Dude.

DUDE.

It has been MY experience that ALL WOMEN ruffle at being painted with such brushes and lumped into condescending categories.

And…my gods, man!! When did we Negresses get the rep for being “MORE SUBMISSIVE“?!?! 

I thought that was the purview of my equally benighted “Oriental” sisters?!?!

Oh, wait, no…don’t they get the “Dragon Lady” thing piled on them?

It is so hard to keep track of those Kinky stereotypes…

I suppose I ought to be grateful that I am able to immediately filter out The Unsuitable when they so loudly skirl on their bagpipe of douchebaggery right off the bat.

I suppose.