FemDoms: my sympathies.

In my experience, Lifestyle female Dominants are among the rarer critters in the plains and valleys of the BDSM / Leather Lifestyle Landscape.

These women are often beset by hordes of male submissives.

It sounds like an awesome proposition no? To have packs of men swooning at your feet. Who wouldn’t want to be the worshipped center of attention, with gifts and tribute flowing in from all sides? And you, on a mighty throne, elevated and surrounded by adoring legions of swooning gorgeous slavish male Adonii??

Not quite!

The grass is always greener…

I got a sneak peek into the lamer side of being a Fem Dom the other day.

Let me state & reiterate: I ‘m not a dominant. My profiles on various dating sites are clear on this.

I’m easy, though. I don’t really mind someone writing to me who maybe has missed that I’m not a dominant. Even though the little box where you indicate your preference is an easy thing to take in when perusing profiles. That is one of the first things people do, usually: verify compatibility via the person’s checklist.

So, when I get an email from a submissive, I wonder how they could have missed that.

Like this guy. Let’s call him KnockMyNuts69.


He e-mailed me thusly:

I am a very submissive male masochist that hopes you will enjoy hurting and humiliating me for your amusement. I live and work XXXXXXREDACTEDXXXXXX and often travel to SF. I hope that we can get to know each other better.

Your humble slave

I thought, OK, well, no. And I sent back the following message:



I am wondering if you read my profile…?




I received a response back, with the following….

Yes Mistress Mollena,

I have read your profile and it excites me very much. I do not really understand the part about you working for an adult website and why that would be a concern to one anonymity. But I am a submissive masochist eager to serve beautiful dominate sadistic women such as yourself. I hope we can get to know each other better.

Your humble slave

OK, well, then I thought, no, I do not think you did, KnockMyNuts69.

And I am not EVEN going to go into your use of the word “dominate” I’ve already ranted about that, and I am done for 2008.

I sent back this message:

It has nothing to do with my working for an adult website.

You clearly did not read my profile or you would not be addressing me as “Mistress” or approaching me to top you.

Then I did a triple take to receive this rather bizarrely scathing response to my 2-line mail:

Well I tried to read your profile but it is just SO BORING and convoluted that it is meaningless.

Let’s analize you profile … line number 1

Please take a moment to check out my blog here in ALT… XXXXXXXX  it

You blog is empty. This is the first line of your profile, what kind of impression does that make? “take a moment to check out” my empty blog.

Does your blog really give insight your “creaking smoky rusted hyena-patrolled labyrinthine workings of my internal processes”?

And will it “certainly score some points” with you? Well i read it and what do I get?

I could go on and on but this way to BORING. Oops did I get to the point too fast … should I of said it is way to … blue colored, grainy, fuzzy, unclear, obtuse, tedious, long-winded, self-important, ponderous, did I say tedious, un-compelling, uninspiring, pretentious, pointless, demotivating, superfluous, lame, and just way too long.

YAWN my I am grouchy tonight. maybe that’s because i am tried of this boring crap


Well, he has one point. The link on my profile goes to my previous blog on that site, however I left that link there for the benefit for those who might have had that previous blog hotlinked.

But whatever.

That subtlety would be outside of the interest of this individual.

Good luck finding a partner, dude.

Is it me, or is this just mean for no fucking reason?? I am tickled to have gone from very exciting to exceedingly boring in one fell swoop…whatever shall I do???

Dom women, you have my empathy.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


  1. Margaret on November 24, 2008 at 6:11 PM

    OMG! That is hilarious!

    Welcome to my world… LOL!

    Sad, but true. There’s a wealth of reasons why most of these guys are uncollared. *sigh*

    What I keep wondering is this:

    Usually humans must experience a modicum of success with a particular behavior to cause them to keep repeating that behavior.

    Does that mean that every now and then these morons actually experience success using such hackneyed lines?

    I can only surmise that there are a bunch of socially-stunted guys out there online _posing_ as FemDommes! How else could these morons get any positive reinforcement for their flawed approach?

    It boggles the mind. Guess they get what they deserve!

    Anyway, thanks for the rant. I appreciate the laugh!

    Ms Margaret

  2. xipietotec on November 24, 2008 at 6:35 PM

    Another sort of flip side fucked uppedness? Being the only male sub in a munch-group which is mostly made up of male Dom’s and female submissives.

    -_- getting blown off for being a male submissive sucks.

  3. Sage on November 24, 2008 at 6:36 PM

    well some folks will never get it. Maybe you should put “if you aren’t mart enough to read my profile please do not contact me”

  4. lalana on November 25, 2008 at 2:05 AM

    I thought I was weird for being so irritated by the misuse of the word “dominate”… I’m sorry, but to me it just indicates a VERY low intelligence, and I can’t be bothered at that point. Not even going to touch on the rest of the dumbassness (yes, spellcheck flagged that word but I don’t care – it works for me) in his messages, I’d be here forever.

    As for you going from being very exciting to exceedingly boring so quickly… You should be proud to be worthy of such an unintelligent rant.

    It does look like he took the first 2 messages out of a “how to be a submissive” handbook… but damn, that last one sure doesn’t say submissive to me one bit. To be honest, I’m not too sure what it DOES say – other than nasty little fuck that needs his ass kicked. :) But he does use some big words… shouldn’t that have impressed you in between the insults???

    Ugh – it’s 4am and I should NOT be allowed to comment at this time of night.


  5. naturline on November 26, 2008 at 3:16 AM

    That was hot- thank you, I needed this…

  6. Wilhelmina on November 30, 2008 at 9:02 PM

    Huh. Is there some kind of widespread internet assholery epidemic that’s going around? I read simlar posts at Between my sheets and This might be dangerous.

    People who lack basic common sense are just not worth a second of one’s time, I think.

  7. Krissy on December 19, 2008 at 9:53 AM

    wow. what a prick.

  8. Twitter Traffic Stats on July 6, 2009 at 5:33 PM

    Definitely worth the read