WTF Wednesday: Whip and tell.
An online friend recently wrote about their decision to kibosh writing scene reports. They questioned their motives. Was it “show-offery”?
Who was the report for, anyway, if not for the people involved to “strut their stuff”? And why yammer to the world about yo private biz-nass? What happens in the Dungeon stays in the Dungeon, right?
In my friend’s case, much of this reflection was precipitated by a critical response to a bit of reportage they’d done on a scene of their own.
Questions of ethics aside, I think it is a loss. As a writer, Scene Reports are an excellent way to stretch ones muscles when it comes to making the ethereal more real. It is a way to capture and share your experience. It is a way to further the scene, and permit those who might not have witnessed it to have a taste of what they missed. It is a way for those who might have witnessed it to glean further insight into what they think they saw 
In saying that an experience is “no one’s business” I feel that obliterates 99% of what makes us human and brings us to the public BDSM community. That being our desire to find like-minded pervs. To foster communication. It is the desire to connect, to say “Me, too!” or “Maybe someday!” or “No, thanks, not for me!”
I, for example, can read a scene report hat has a really hot description of a certain type of play that I’d not considered interesting to me. But from the point of view of a connoisseur, it becomes intriguing. SO, perhaps the next time someone offers me a sensory deprivation scene, I think “Hm. perhaps it isn’t a boring as I’d thought it would be…” and I take a step into a new direction!’
I’m not certain why someone would have a negative reaction to a scene report unless the tone was holier than thou, or somehow judgmental, or they simply were bringing their own baggage to the table.
I’ve written some myself. It was, of course, with the permission or foreknowledge of the people involved if they were specifically named. Or if the details were too obvious to conceal to the broader world. (One of the first Scene Reports I ever shared) was written while I was still involved with the person in question, and I posted it on a local mailing list. It was a fun way to share a new experience. It wound up in a solo show, and now is on an e-book anthology as well. Another one I wrote was to talk about a type of play that had been previously on my soft-limit list but took me to a really unbelievable place, and I felt compelled to share that.
I love reading a well-written scene report. I enjoy conducting workshops about how to create reportage around personal experience, and I REALLY love when I can share vicariously in experiences from the POV of someone who am not and will not be in this lifetime.
I think it is valuable, sexy, daring, thrilling, and a singular honor to be able to see that from the heart, soul and minds other players.
A little peek a boo into your bedroom or dungeon is a delectable treat.
I like scene reports as well. I know that when D and I finally get together I’ll probably want to keep some of what we do private, but he and I both get off on the idea of posting about our escapades.
I’ve developed some kinks by reading scene reports that I might not have had I had there been no report to read. But I suppose I’ll never truly know what works for me until I finally get a chance to play. Some day, dammit, some day. :p
Reply
Comment by Eliot — December 17, 2008 @ 6:46 pm
And hopefully when that day comes, you’ll be able to share that with your friends and those curious about your experience, your growth and your life!
xoxo
~Mo
Reply
Comment by mollena — December 18, 2008 @ 12:02 pm
I’d like to share this story (see link). I was just fondly re-reading it and remembering how much fun I had.
http://www.kinkylibrarian.net/index.php/2008/12/07/the-night-that-just-got-hotter-and-hotter/
I too like keeping a record of what I’ve gotten up to.
Reply
mollena Reply:
December 23rd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Oh that was SUPER hot. I love this line:
“This might be when we took a break to have pie, I can’t quite remember. “
*laughs*
So much about sex parties is the snack break!!
Thank you for sharing!!
xoxo
~Mo
Reply
Comment by Nadia — December 18, 2008 @ 2:13 pm
I certainly plan on doing so!
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Comment by Eliot — December 18, 2008 @ 2:17 pm