HNT ~ Hysteria Nekkid Thursday
…from Wikipedia…
The term originates with the Greek medical term, hysterikos. This referred to a medical condition, thought to be particular to women, caused by disturbances of the uterus, hystera in Greek. The term hysteria was coined by Hippocrates, who thought that suffocation and madness arose in women whose uteri had become too light and dry from lack of sexual intercourse and, as a result, wandered upward, compressing the heart, lungs, and diaphragm. Originally defined as a neurotic condition peculiar to women and thought to be caused by a dysfunction of the uterus” (“Hysterical”).
The same general definition, or under the name female hysteria, came into widespread use in the middle and late 19th century to describe what is today generally considered to be sexual dysfunction.[1]Typical treatment was massage of the patient’s genitalia by the physician and later vibrators or water sprays to cause orgasm.
It is fascinating, to me, how much sense this makes. I have felt pretty hysterical due to lack of sex at times in my life. And I am only partly joking…but it is less the lack of sexual intercourse (a situation easily remedied) than the lack of consistent human touch.
Lack of touch can in fact lead to a syndrome generally called “failure to thrive” and can lead to babies passing away. I don’t think it can actually kill adults but it sure as fuck causes some…issues.
I went back to the Doctor yesterday because my own uterus and, more specifically, its attendant ovaries and even more specifically, the left one, aren’t behaving very well.
What I hadn’t anticipated was the emotional reaction that comes along with the constant pain. I don’t have kids, and I probably won’t. And yet, an internal organ whose only function is to prepare my entire body for and release eggs to facilitate reproducing picks now, as I enter my fourth decade, to stomp and shout and talk shit.
As I grind my teethand blink back tears and soldier on, I ponder several smirking ironies…the first it the realization of falling short on a biological imperative comparable only to the drive to eat. Logic gets set on fire and run screaming in circles when faced with hormonal fluctuations and physiology and that makes me batshit crazy.
The Doctor is recommending birth control. And here I am, most likely infertile and certainly in no place to make little Mobabies, about to get a hormonal IUD. The crowning backhanded stroke of irony is that I was within 2 weeks of having in IUD placed last year, but the non-c0mittalstance of my then partner convinced me that unprotected sex wasn’t the wisest option, and, seeing no other reason to have the device implanted, I cancelled that appointment. Now, sitting here withmy hand pushed into my left side every time I sneeze…or couch…or take a deep breath…or yawn…my heart’s rictus grin batters me with could-have-beens.
Logic, common sense, Tylenol 3…none of these help stave off the frustration of waking up to another day of hurt to cover my face with my stuffed elephant and scream. Primally. Venting. Frustrated.
And yet? Grateful.
I have health insurance. I have educated myself, and continue to do so. And I am at least aware that I CAN survive this, it isn’t gonna fucking kill me, and I will make it out of this sticky corner and off of this splintery lonely bench and back into the game soon. Not because I have special powers…but because I have no other choice.
Non-consensual pain suck ass…but the pain management techniques I’ve learned over the past 12+ years sure do help.
Breathe.
Some days are one breath at a time.
And I’m happy to breathe through it…painful as it, and life may be.
Thank you for it…for the reminder that I. Live.
Happy HNT.
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Pingback by HNT Roundup for 10/01 « Adam & Eve's Broken Headboards — October 1, 2009 @ 1:38 pm
i’m suffering from “failure to thrive” right now
that pic is gorgeous, mollena
.-= the eternal list´s most recent blog moment of Zen on the net was…HNT: THE GREAT BELOW =-.
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mollena Reply:
October 4th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
You know….it is a constant sensation for me. That feeling of “failing to thrive” when lacking touch and contact. I know it isn’t much comfort but to you I send some energy of touch, hugs…loving contact…may you thrive.
Peace.
Mo
.-= mollena´s most recent blog moment of Zen on the net was…Sunday Morning Sexytime Story: Forced Oyster. =-.
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Comment by the eternal list — October 2, 2009 @ 9:27 am
So I love pictures of your breasts – but
I have to say your hand steals the show in this picture. You have one of the most beautiful hand(s) I’ve ever seen. Your skin is so smooth, just the most perfect of tones, and your nails are exactly the right shade to set off your skin. Really, simply stunning.
I’m so sorry you are still hurting Your attitude about it is amazing and inspirational. I admire you so much and you are often getting positive thoughts from me – even if you don’t know it. *hugs*
.-= sxychikadee´s most recent blog moment of Zen on the net was…Fuck You HNT =-.
Reply
mollena Reply:
October 4th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
oh my goodness
Thank you, beautiful girl
For your surprisingly lovely compliment … and for your really moving reminder.
Thank you. You remind me to be grateful.
((hugs))
Mo
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Comment by sxychikadee — October 4, 2009 @ 6:58 am
you are wonder to behold….
lamesabassman….. and how I wish to… day after day….. stay strong…
Reply
mollena Reply:
October 4th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Thank you, thank you.
xoxo
Peace
Mollena
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Comment by lamesabassman — October 4, 2009 @ 11:57 am