Sober.
Not a word I’d ever thought would apply to me.
Not a word that necessarily connotes the joy with which I use it today.
Not a word that can full explain what sobriety has done for me.
But it will have to do.
Praise god. Praise the Lord I’m sober today.
As I sit in a hotel room in Chicago, wrapping up a week that saw me take my first steps away from a job I loved but that wasn’t growing with me…those first terrifying moments of freefall have been replaced with a startling feeling of … safety. I am well cared-for. I am loved.
For an unemployed writer, performer, pervert and Leather Titleholder, I’m in an amazing place. Tonight I will be in my home, my old stomping grounds, New York City. Old and new friends, an amazing return, so much to do my head swims when I check my google calendar. It is crazy.
And if I were not sober today, I would never. Never ever. Have managed it.
Thank you to my old friends…to Julie & Mellie & Tim who helped get me into rehab. Â I hope your lives are as blessed as mine is.
Thank you to the Staff at Joe Healy Rehab.
Thank you to Ms. Heart, Â who stepped in and stood by me and went with me to meetings. To my first sponsors, for some hard lessons on what does and does not work, for ME, in recovery.
To the people who attend the Safeword recovery meeting that I started, totally unsure that it was OK for a kid with only 9 months sober to do so.
Thank you to my virtual family. To my real-time friends. To the people who serve as reminders that life is so fucking beautiful, even when it slices you apart and leaves you gasping alone on the shore.
Beautiful.
YAY!!! Oh honey that is so freaking awesome!! You deserve all the good things that come your way and i’m so thrilled for you! Congratulations!
YAY! Congratulations! May you have a lifetime more to go, and may all those anniversaries be as busy, bountiful, and joyous as this is. Hip hip huzzah!
Mo, you are the most awesome person ever. Go you!
Congratulations!
You have done the work.
Glad to see you proud.
You have earned it.
[…] http://www.mollena.com/2010/03/sober/ Quickie post on The Perverted Negress… now I gotta stop being all emo and get to ORD # […]
Congrats on the anniversary! I intended to go to the In the Flesh event just to be able to say hello; it’s been a few years. But life interfered, as it tends to do. Sorry I missed you.
Spring (you know, from ALT…think handkerchief song in an Italian restaurant with MIM and I)
We have never met, but I’ve read some of your work and heard interviews with you, and that prompted me to check out your blog. Although it may mean nothing coming from a complete stranger, but I want you to know that I am proud of you for the strength that you demonstrate in your public works on sexual freedom and expression, and now even more so about your choice to be sober. You challenge minds and hearts, and you have certainly inspired mine. Congratulations and best of luck to you.
Awesome! Just awesomeawesomeawesome, and congratulations. It makes me really happy to read people talking about recovery.
On a totally different subject, not sure if it was you but if you are on a pay-to-play camsite I just might’ve been spying on you eating chips or some other crispy treat on Saturday and it got me really hungry!
.-= Trixie´s most recent blog moment of Zen on the net was…See Me at Seattle Foot Night! =-.