Why racism can be hilarious.

So once upon a time, I saw someone use a racial epithet I’d never seen before.

I posted about it on FetLife, and on Twitter.

I learned a new racist epithet! Wanna poke one of the Native Peoples of North America in the eye?You can call ’em “Prairie Spooks!” #EvilLOL

Someone replied about how dumbass that was and compared it to another epithet.

I then replied

OMG! @(anotherTweeter) Dude! I know! I threw my back out laughing! So awful. I ain’t been that amused since I heard the term “Sand Nigger.”

I then got the following “question” on my Formspring account

I saw your post on twitter about the racial slurs. I was quite astounded. You’re on a global stage as a title holder, and frankly, I’m embarrassed.

I read it, re-read it, scratched my head, and responded thusly:

I don’t know why you’d be embarrassed and what you’re embarrassed about, Anonymous. But we are all responsible for our own emotions.

Interestingly, this “question” displays your ignorance of my background, my history, and myself. If you’d like to educate yourself, you can start with the “Fantasy” that was a substantial part of my winning my current “title”http://www.mollena.com/2010/04/lifting-my-voice And sure, you could read all of the work I’ve done in the BDSM & Leather communities and beyond to break down the idea that words, epithets and such are things about which we need to run around shrieking in fear and rage and embarrassment.

But you probably wont. And that is OK. Because I have zero shame and embarrassment about the way I live my life. Clearly you cannot say the same.

I hope that you grow to find that you are beyond letting the journey, experience and words of another can cause you grief. And I wish you well on your journey!

I had several people re-tweet the response, several more people offer supportive comments, on Twitter and on FaceBook (there my TweetFeed poops all ofer my FB page) I had a couple of people who thought my comments were troubling.

I feel like there should be some things about me that are obvious. but in case this gets missed? Let me sum it up.

I have been dragged through the mud, lost friends, been very shabbily treated, been threatened with violence, had my privacy violated and been shunned because of some of my beliefs and some of the kinks about which I freely speak.

I’m done with shame.

I believe that giving words power over me non-consensually is some bullshit.

I further believe that robbing hateful speech of its power starts with knowing WHY those words bother YOU. Specifically. Not why they are “bad” in general, but specifically what YOUR problem with the word(s) is.

I believe I am in the minority when it comes to my position on some words with a very troubling, dark and terrible history.

I am well aware that wading in the water when it is cold and dark ain’t for everybody.

I well know that my path looks quite fucked to many.

I understand many do not agree with me.

I’ve heard it all before.

I’m still standing, still proud, and have not a shred of embarrassment, shame or self-hatred about anything about me.

This is the result of a great deal of work, sweat, pain and love. Are you better off for being outraged and furious at “bad words?”

When I laugh at hatred and ugliness I have robbed it of its power.

When I smile on the person who would beat me with their racism and bigotry, I create light from darkness.

I’m all. Over. That.



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  1. Simon on December 22, 2010 at 12:56 AM

    The above is why I love and respect you, Mollena

    Your way of living calls me to look to the honor and truth which often lie beyond popularity and ease.


    • mollena on December 27, 2010 at 9:56 PM

      Thank you, sweetheart.



  2. Sara Vibes on December 22, 2010 at 1:03 AM

    Wo! This post is beyond awesome! You are so strong, so powerful, so brave! I’m honored to have met you and you are a reminder that I’m doing the right thing for me. I will continue to LoL at KKK footage because their get up sucks! … I’m clearly rambling- but this post is awesome, you’re awesome, glad to see I’m not alone, becuase of you people are seeing a whole new point of view and tHAT’s something!

    • mollena on December 27, 2010 at 10:00 PM

      ((hugs)) thank you, Miss Awesomeness!! And thank you for “getting” it when so many miss the damn train, yanno???



  3. Sara Vibes on December 22, 2010 at 1:05 AM

    OMG Simon! You beat me to first post! (Shakes fist)

    But its cool, you get, you’re down and we like that! (Just don’t say you’re down, only WE can)


  4. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mollena (Mo)Williams and Sara Vibes. Sara Vibes said: Awesome post! RT @Mollena: The Negress natters…: Why racism can be hilarious. http://www.mollena.com/2010/12/why-racism-can-be-hilarious/ […]

  5. Kat on December 22, 2010 at 2:35 PM

    One thing to note is that we are in an age of political correctness. I have friends 20 years my senior who remember when racial jokes were allowed in popular cartoons. By the time I was watching those cartoons, the censors had got to it and removed things like blackface and slit eyed chinese cartoon characters from the picture. Only when a friend showed me the old version of the cartoon did I find out that the cartoon producers and creators were putting that stuff in.

    Everything I was taught in school (and I was brought up in SF too which doesnt help me) was that racism was wrong. I should never use words like “nigger”, “spic”, “chink”, etc… Thsoe words were seen as worse than any of the curse words (shit, fuck, asshole, etc..) and further punctuated by growing up in as racially diverse of an environment as I did. Hell, as a white girl, I was one of 2 white kids in one of my high schools and didnt even really see white people until I moved out of SF. So, now when I get ahold of old cartoons and old media where it was during a much more ignorant time, Im often looking with my mouth agape thinking of how mean that is to make those kinds of jokes

    My sense of humor about this stuff is getting better. There still are some comedians who make racial jokes that involve slurs and I still occasionally flinch (even if Im laughing moments later). I give you this story about me only because I know that the generations after me are even more sheltered in the eye of political correctness. So, in a way, I know where this anonymous person’s view comes from.

    Still, you handled this very nicely. You didnt do the “Im gonna do what I wnat to do” or “I dont have to justify my life to you.”. You were very frank and attempted to educate rather than discriminate. To me, thats the epitome of what a title holder’s duties are, not fitting into what people what as far as sexual/kink tastes.

    • mollena on December 27, 2010 at 10:03 PM

      Hey Kat! :-D

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and also for your feedback. While that “question” truly left me scritching my head I feel that it was, in fact, a good way for me to touch base again with what I’ve experienced and maybe help someone to see a different POV :-)

      ((big hugs))


  6. Rosalyn on December 24, 2010 at 9:01 AM

    You are my fucking hero! So many people look at me like I have a second head when I don’t shrug or bat an eye at “nigger” or some other word I am supposed to care about. Thank you.. thank you.. thank you for your wisdom.

    • mollena on December 27, 2010 at 10:05 PM

      Thank YOU for reading and for your note, Rosalyn! I am honored and totally stoked to hear that some of us have managed to rise above, you know?



  7. TDG on December 27, 2010 at 7:11 AM

    BTW girl, although I am mostly mutt, I am of the Powhatan people, and actually, we wouldn’t be Praire Spooks. We might be Woodland Spooks, Longhouse spooks, River Spooks, or perhaps even Spooky River people; I don’t know. Since it is your current slur, perhaps you can correctly label me.

    • mollena on December 27, 2010 at 9:55 PM

      Please stop me from whipping up a “River Spook” t-shirt on CafePress.

      Jai Ganesha, I so adore you!

  8. Midnight Pussy on January 6, 2011 at 9:12 PM

    “I believe that giving words power over me non-consensually is some bullshit.”

    That is the best line I have ever heard and I will quote it until I die. (I’ve already added it to my Facebook quotes!)

    I look forward to meeting you in Madison next month! :-)