Meat me halfway.

When I first entered the BDSM/kink “community,” I realised that, in addition to being referred to as a “n00b” [or newbie by the less nerdy kinksters] I was also slapped with the label “fresh meat.” And treated accordingly…for a few moments. Due to my particular circumstances [I was immediately involved in a restricted relationship and not available in GenPop] it took a good year and a half before I was out and about on my own. By then, I was apparently past my freshness date, new meat had come down the line, I was “downgraded,” and there you have it.

I never liked and always actively pushed back against the use of that term in the community. I saw too many people, mostly female identified, quietly walk away from the scene because they’d been relegated to commodities before they had consented to be so, or even before they had identified as such!
One would hope this attitude would not be prevalent. And perhaps it is less so? But a couple of times in my recent experience [online and at a kink event] I’ve heard this “fresh meat” banter and it gives me pause.

My hope is that those of us who are already here have the ability to respect our newcomers. That we give them space to learn, and find themselves…and that we refrain from making them prey before they have even consented to the chase.

While being someone else’s meal may be enticing for some, consent is must and non-consensual objectification is, yes, a consent violation. 

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  1. cheerfuloptimistic on June 24, 2019 at 1:50 AM

    Well said.