I love perverted sex. In fact, some of the perverted sex I love the most is considered too fucked up for public consumption by other kinky people.

I love kinky people. The community, warts and all, is a home for me.  And like any extended weird family, we have our disagreements.

I know for a fact that there will be people reading this who are on the other side of this discussion. But when it comes to talking shit about people who don’t do sex the way we do, I have strong opinions.

When I’m in a room full of kinky people and someone says “I feel so sorry for the poor vanillas. I just don’t get how they could be so lame!” and goes on to expand on how kinky sex is the best way to have intimate relations, that “they” will “never understand” how much “better” our sex is, and I see the majority of people in the room nodding or clucking their tongues sympathetically, I realize something.

We become that which we reject when we paint people who don’t fuck the same way that we do with a broad brush.

The two best lovers I have ever had weren’t “kinky.” According to them. They were sadistic, deliciously sick, fucked up sex maniacs. They slapped me around, said all sorts of horrible shit to me, fucked my brains out, and still felt pretty good about themselves.

Neither one of them had ever taken a Kink class, set foot into a play party,  or could tell SSC from WTF.

Now you “Enlightened” perverts can pooh-pooh that and wink knowingly and say “Oh, yeah, they were kinky. They just didn’t know it yet.”

But who the fuck are you to tell people how they should identify?

Kinky sex is NOT, by default, better sex. It is for YOU if you are kinky. People who don’t do BDSM are not all  ignorant or unenlightened. (more…)

Click through for some amusing pictures. Or don’t. Meh.

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I received this solicitation on a BDSM dating site.

And I quote….

Master[REDACTED]
Age: 37
Gender: Man
Location: New Hampshire, United States
Message: Hi babe I like what you have to say in your profile sugar LOL I’m a Dom looking for a slave whore to do what ever I want her to do LOL it looks like you are what I’m looking for honey but you’d have to move I live in NH but I’m willing

I experienced a range of emotions.  Sadness, Rage. Shock and awe. Disgust. Despair. The desire for a cupcake to make the pain go away.

So, of course, I sent it to everyone  I know.

inspiring the following exchange with me and my WebMaster.

void: but could you deal with a dom with a thick Naw Hamshar accent?

Mollena: I can’t deal with ANYONE who EVER thinks it is ok to approach a slave with that language.

Mollena: I hate him so much.

void: Hi baab  I like wha’ ya ha’e to say in ya profile shuga  LOL I’m a Dom lookin fah a slave whoore to do wha’ eva I wan’ hah todo  LOL it looks like ya what I’m lookin fah honey  but ya’d ha’e to move I live in N’Hampshah  but I’m willin”

void: I mean, really

void: what kind of a dom uses emoticons?

Mollena: are you trying to make me cry?!

Mollena: red, dude

From Formspring…

Q: When a relationship ends, what is the best approach for moving on and regaining self, things that you lost while in that relationship?

A: This is so mutable.

(Which is OK. Gemini’s a mutable sign. I’m good)

The circumstances of the relationship have EVERYTHING to do with the breakup.

• How long was the relationship?
• How amicable was the breakup?
• How was the breakup itself handled?
• How respectfully are you treating one another in the aftermath?
• Were children or other significant others involved?

Etc etc  etc.

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Rod Jetton: Flawless Triple Douchebagger.

Ugh. Republicans. AGAIN with the sex scandals!!

OK, to be fair, that is certainly a blanket statement, and I shouldn’t be so flippant. ALL public figures get themselves into sexual loggerheads, right? And hell, my ex, Jack, was a registered Republican and I’ve certainly taken a few tumbles with conservative types. Shit, I even had a torrid affair with a hot blonde Republican from Concord who was the child of missionaries. But she was really hot. Hotness trumps political affiliation.

Usually.

My point is this…people who trumpet in public are the strumpets in private. I’m so over this scandal and that scandal with these people who yammer about morality and then wind up with their pants down in bathroom stalls and their dicks in the orifii of someone not their wife.

Usually I just roll on past these with a sigh but this Jetton douchebaggery has cut a little closer to the bone.

Why?

The Trifecta. (more…)

A woman I greatly admire and who I recognized as being one of those soul-family people when we first met recently wrote a blog post on FetLife. It kind of is the zenith to my recent post’s nadir-gazing miasma, and I’ve obtained her permission to repost it here.

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This one is the total fault of @sexisfuncoochie. That’s what you get for asking an innocent question.

OK. Um, Mo here, talking about being (mostly) mono in a poly world. And by “poly world” I mean the BDSM community as I experience it.

I’ve been around a while, and I am not a shrinking violet when it comes to hopping around the country chilling with my Leather and Kinky and Sex Positive and Freaky Peeps. And due to this, many assume I play all the time, everywhere.

This is not the case.

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Too many people, overwhelmingly on the bottom / submissive side of the kink equation, have a tendency to have a “let it slide” attitude.

You know.

You meet someone, they are very aggressive on the first date, move too fast, but because you emerge unscathed, you “let it slide.”

Someone pushes a limit, but maybe you didn’t make it clear…maybe it is your fault…so you “let it slide.”

Someone talks about you to another person in a manner that is derogatory or too personal or just makes you uncomfortable and rather than addressing them directly about your feelings you “let it slide.”

Well, fucking stop that shit.

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I strive to swerve online drama. I have been doing the “online thing” for a while now. Not as long as some, but longer than others.

I still become honestly puzzled by people who assume that a common sexual bent will somehow filter out jerks, losers, douchebags, whiners, predators, evil beings, and just plain old fashioned annoying folks.

The BDSM “Scene”, the Leather Community, all of these things are, at best, a skewed microcosm.

Don’t be so foolish as to think that bonding over bondage makes the person next to you on that St. Andrew’s Cross any more intelligent, sensitive, or open-minded than the guy depositing your check at the bank.

In the same way that a safeword provides only a modicum of insurance (some would argue a false sense of security as well) the “feeling of community” does NOT assure you that all is warm and fuzzy.

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A "Real" slave collar.

I have observed, over the years, a passive-aggressive tendency among perverts to denigrate one another’s choices within the Leather Lifestyle.

For me the MOST insidious behaviour is the posturing of some people who self-identify as slaves. They are the ones most often referring to themselves with the dubious title “True” slaves, and farting in the general direction of anyone who disagrees with their Fundamentalist Leatherview.

They love to make blanket judgments as to what a slave is, how a slave behaves, what a slave wears, how a slave walks, how a slave slaves.

Too often have I seen a person on a forum or mailing list hold forth about how “Only slaves can be truly collared.” Or nattering on about how “Submissives just don’t have the slave heart.” and of course Ye Hoary Olde “I started as a submissive but grew into slavery.”

As though being owned property is like getting to put on the Big Kid Underpants.

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