Expertise ≠ Invincibility.

Some sad and fucked up news hit my screen this afternoon. A rather well-known member of the Fetish community, the guy who owned and operated Kink Engineering passed away as a result of an accident while playing alone. I absolutely cannot imagine what this is like for his partner, his close friends and family. And…

Read More

A master, an owner, a continuum…?

For years I’ve had elaborate explanations for what the differences are between the terms / titles “owner” and “master” since it seems people often use them interchangeably. And when I asked people why they chose one over the other, some answers were personal, others rambling, some generated more questions than answers. I hit upon an…

Read More

All work and all plays.

When my work is what I love to do, I can feel like a bit of a whiner when I realize I’m drained.  How could I possibly feel overwhelmed when I’m doing exactly what I love? When even today I cracked open and kicked the shit outta the sticking point of the next theater project…

Read More

Mother’s Day Flashback! “See, Mom, It’s Like This…”

Just got off of the phone with my Mom, and listened as she opened the package that has been sitting and silently holding the little secret gift I’d ordered weeks ago, so that I wouldn’t forget. She seemed to really like the gift: 4 little hand-crafted silver pendants with the initial of each of her…

Read More

NLA Award!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE WINNERS ANNOUNCED FOR NLA-I WRITING AWARDS  (Columbus, OH) — National Leather Association: International, a leading organization for activists in the pansexual SM/leather community, announced the winners, for works published in 2011, of its annual awards for excellence in SM/leather/fetish writing at its Annual General Meeting at Tribal Fire in OklahomaCity, OK on May 6, 2012.…

Read More

Why you should pay me.

Some of you know, but most do not, how difficult it is to be a presenter in the “Alt Sex” community. Folks see me running all over the USA, Canada and Europe and assume I must be making lots of money. Well…no. Most conferences don’t pay speakers. Some will at least cover a hotel room…

Read More

Catch me if you can.

Next week is fucking nuts.   I am kind of settling into being back in the Bay. Getting used to being in the East bay, and trying to not feel like I’m drowning. Mostly I am succeeding. Some days it is all I can do to get up before I absolutely HAVE to, because I…

Read More

When do you tell?

Someone wrote an article about having herpes. While I am glad that the discussion is happening, the opening paragraph bugged me. Upon re-reading this article, something that nagged at me nagged me further. The author opens with “We were naked. He was hard. I’d always considered this moment the best time to disclose, because rejection…

Read More

Play Collar.

I walked out of the Planned Parenthood office armed with a bag containing several dozen condoms, six months’ worth of Progestogen only birth control pills, a small bottle of lube and a package containing some pulls commonly known as “Plan B.” Those last I was provided “just in case’ and I was carefully instructed on how…

Read More