Nov 202009

Look, Ma! New Tech!

Welcome to what will probably be a new regular feature on The Perverted Negress!

I can talk and you can listen and I don’t have to fucking type. What’s not to LOVE?!

Check out the post on race play inspired by Jaki, who sent me a message on FetLife and then motivated me to respond.

Now, with no further buttfuckery, you can listen to me nattering for a bit here!

Obviously, this isn’t comprehensive but I hope it gives a little insight to interested parties and the curious. Feel free to post your comments, but be advised, asshole douchebaggery won’t be tolerated. I will hex you. Srsly.

Love and fluffybunbuns!


Oct 202008

So may times over the years I see submissives fall “prey” to “predators” or fall  “victim” of a bad dom or exploitative wolf in leather clothing.


I recently made the online acquaintance of a woman who was going from an online to a real-time dominant / submissive (d/s) relationship.


The fairytale for which so many pine. You may know it, or a variation of it. All romance and flowers and “the beast within” and roses at midnight and kneeling in trembling submission and all of that gorgeous prose.


For reasons that are their business, it went south.  She had to make the call to change course and let go of this particular fantasy-turned-reality.


And you know what? She did.


She cut her losses, realized that it was not the right situation for her.


She ended it.


She did not sail in railing against him on public forums.


She did not pull “submissive sob sister” all over the kink and fetish groups available on the damned Internet.


She acted like a bloody adult. She said “No, this is not OK.” And she made sure her home remained a safe space.


Not such a big deal? You think?


Think again.


Women are not typically groomed to fiercely protect their emotional space, or to be defensive of their safety. Add to that a reflexive desire to obey and be pleasing, steeped in seething vats of kinky purple prose designed to titillate and not firmly rooted in fact, and you have a recipe for an emotional 58 car pile-up.


I applaud this woman because it surprised me that she saw this coming and did what was right.


I applaud her for not kowtowing to the idea that being submissive means you have to do whatever it takes to please one person, even if your gut is screaming no.


I applaud this woman for taking care of herself and her family.


I applaud this woman for her huge brass ovaries in remaining hopeful in the face of crappy odds.


I applaud this person, this woman, with little experience in the Leather “Community” who still had the sense that the Gods gave her and the temerity to step up to the plate when it was time to do what needed to be done.


I send a prayer of strength to anyone who has NOT obeyed his or her gut.


Who, despite misgivings, stayed in a bad relationship.


Who let their fear of being alone override their knowledge that their situation was unhealthy.


I pray that, if you are ever faced with a situation that is not-optimal or outright dangerous, that you have the strength to let go, to see your self worth, to know that there are  DECENT, WONDERFUL, CARING, RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE and if you put out that energy, that energy WILL be yours.


Perhaps not in the time you want.


Perhaps not in a fairy-tale sparkling coach.


Maybe not even in a guise that is recognizable to you.


But it will happen.


It will.


And this post is more for me, more to me, than it is to The Woman Who IS SO Very, Very Brave.


Because she did what I wasn’t able to do, and took care of her emotional self.


SO, this is my post to me.


Love yourself.


Love yourself better.



Oct 092008

I will blatantly pimp today.

I have been a pervert for a long time.   My High School boyfriend and I liberally applied handcuffs and hogties in the bedroom. Back then, it was pilfered clothesline from his Mom’s laundry supplies. That very first relationship was, for a while, a triad.  Yeah, I had it goin’ on, even back in the day when a date meant going to see Under The Cherry Moon and sneaking into Nell‘s with our fake IDs.

I hit the online milieu back in the late 90s, and never looked back.

There are many, many sites on the intertubes where perverts can go lounge around in virtual splendor. From Gorean chat-rooms where red-silk kajira kneel & serve & hump their slave heats all over cups of paga, to FurCon discussion boards, there is something for everyone.

Before you start capping on the Furries, know that I find them adorable.

Before you start capping on the Furries, know that I find them adorable.

There also are eleventy billion people profiting obscenely over the deluge of obscenity. Lots of companies make a shitload of money catering to the kinks and funneling off the wallets of the perverati.

I should know. I work for the biggest.

Working for a huge ass company for whom your personal, precious perversion is merely an exploitable demographic is, to say the least, mentally discombobulating. I feel a bit like a turncoat triple agent pervy mole.

But at least I get to watch men putting huge things up their asses first thing in the morning.

You gain some, you lose some.

When I started my new job Editing and wrangling content for 2 ALTernative, fetish and Bondage sites, I was a somewhat nonplussed because I had a long history on one site. I’d been blogging there for several years, it was my Very Fist Blog, and now here I was through the looking glass!

Except on this side of the looking glass there aren’t very fucking many perverts.

A few weeks ago, I was in a conference call trying to disabuse several people of the notion that giving out site-branded flyswatters at the Folsom Street Fair was NOT going to provoke confusion. Non-con smacks, possibly. Cluelessness as to their intended use? No, not really.

So where does a Perverted Negress go when she wants to perv out and NOT have it be a site owned by The Man?

FetLife, that’s where.

It is the best game going, in my Not At All Humble Opinion.

The dude that runs it, John Baku, has a bunch of pervs running a tight ship. The site is free. The discussion are lively. Unlike some places-I-could-name-but-won’t, you can hotlink to whatever the fuck your nasty, sick, deviant heart desires from anywhere on the site. Further ingratiating me to it,  John gives no  leeway to people posting stupid ass blinky sparkly shit all over the site. It will never be FuckSpaced into horror.

MOST critically, it is privately owned and operated by kinksters.

And Mr. Baku says he won’t let that change.

Fuck yeah.

I hope so.

I dig his site. Oooo, and watch this, biotechs! I even support it financially.

If you happen to be on FetLife, and can hold off on a latte for a goddamned day, donate $5. If you can skimp back on a couple of dinners out, donate $60.00, Hell, iffen you ain’t a member, just donate in the name of the RNC Memorial Pervert Fund.

With that donation, you get a dope little banner on your profile, and as well, you have the happy warm fuzzy of knowing you put your money where your fuckin’ mouth is. And therefore can feel justified when you start ranting on the FetLife Rant Forum about how frustrating it is that you can’t reply to threads and e-mal from yer mobile phone.

When someone takes the time to build a resource by perverts for perverts and it is bloody fucking well done, give it up!

Plus, today I got two notes from two sexeh men with accents on FetLife, so mad props for bringing me today’s “LDR Fantasy Dom & Wank Fodder”! W00t!

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