I need a miracle

<span style=”color: #c0c0c0;”><em>…modified from its original telling to better suit MY beliefs. </em></span>

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A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. He turns his eyes heavenward and prays fervently “Lord God, please save your humble servant. Grant me a miracle to save me!”

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A man comes by in a rowboat and says “The water is rising, man! Get in, get in!” The religious man replies, “No. I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle.”

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Later the water is up to his waist and a Coast Guard motorboat swings by. The Guardsman tosses a life saver to the man, who pushes it away. “Are you crazy? The flood waters are rising!” The man piously replies that he has faith in God and God will give him a miracle.

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With the water at chin high, an Army helicopter hovers overhead, drops a ladder and a soldier climbs down to rescue the man. Again, and now gasping for air. water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help, spluttering that his faith in divine intervention will rescue him. The baffled soldier shrugs and climbs back up to the helicopter, which glides away to help others.

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The waters overtake the man, and he drowns.

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He comes to, an indeterminate time later, in a location that is decidedly unpleasantly…warm. The Devil looks over his glasses at the man, and checks him in, welcoming him to Hell.

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“Why am I here? I was a good and faithful servant of God! I awaited his miracle, and I was betrayed!”

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Satan smiled.

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“Actually, you’re here because God was fed up. He sent you two boats and a helicopter, and yet you ignored the miracles at hand for the miracle YOU wanted to see.”

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