My story of stars.
I’m a DEDICATED analogy user. They help me sort my life experiences into manageable piles. Analogies are my life structure. My exoskeleton. And I’ve been trying now for years to find the one I can use for comfort when mid to outer circle friends die. You know the situation. Someone who perhaps you knew in…Read More
Who Dat on American Sex Podcast?!
TEN DAYS OUT from the launch of ALL THAT AND MO! SUBSCRIBE, FRIENDS! I know, I know, ya can’t wait. You can get your fill of me in the meantime! Check out my homies Sunny Megatron and Ken Melvoin-Berg getting down and dirty on one of my fave subjects….taboos and kink! Go Listen! RIGHT…Read More
Despite rumours to the contrary…
This seems like an odd statement to be compelled to make, but since I’ve heard it from multiple sources in 3 countries, I’ll address it. I am not “retired” from the Leather/Kink/BDSM community lecture “circuit.” I was never “retired” from the Leather/Kink/BDSM community lecture “circuit.” The tapering off of my appearances was not my *choice.*…Read More
Sometimes? Self-care is hamsters.
I have been paying especially close attention to my negative self-talk for the past year or so. And actively launching rebuttals. At first this seemed kind of fucking stupid (LOOK THERE SEE HOW EASY IT IS TO SMASH YOURSELF?!?) but I am never daunted by the ridiculousness of my harebrained schemes. I say a LOT…Read More
Beset on All Sides.
Travel is draining. Traveling with an injury is very draining. Traveling with an injury and then having to manage your beloved’s struggles is…really…very…draining. I consider it a miracle that I’m in a relationship where, on average, 85% of our time is spent together and the overwhelming majority of THAT time is a delight. What that…Read More
THANK YOU for Keeping me Kinkly!
Well, damn! Thanks to your votes, I made the People’s Choice for Kinkly 2019! I promise to keep it kinky…even it it only is my fro! I am very grateful to be included amongst this illustrious crew of writers, thinkers, perverts and lovers of love. Stay tuned for my sex toy pick , because apparently…Read More
The Evolution of Self-Care, Feat. Lizzo.
Life Evolves. Things change. People grow, and growth is beautiful. I have realised something in the past couple of mornings of my “Slavecation.” And that is, Lizzo in the morning is crucial at this stage of my life. I am grateful that our power exchange is a living, breathing entity. I am going to have…Read More
Sister to Sister on Slate.com
A few weeks back, I received a note from Rich Juzwiak, a guy who writes for the column “How to Do It” on Slate.com. He asked me for input on a query he’d received from a Black woman concerning BDSM and racism. And lookie here, my name pops up as a good source! Gotta love…Read More
Service Is Love. Food Is Love.
We are on the road a great deal, and cooking while on the road is a risky proposition. You never know, when you rent a house, what the state of the kitchen will be. When we ARE at home, I often hit that food-box life, so as to avoid adding substantially to the compost piles…Read More
How to love.
In having an intense moment of deep connection with my higher power, I’m moved to share. My personal relationship with my manifestation of the divine is…complicated…by my logic and skepticism. And yet, just now, when I was somehow able to create a visualization that actually quieted my active mind (not a thing that ever works…Read More
Putting the “I” in “Phile!”
I was approached a few months ago to be interviewed by Phile Magazine. The added plum of the interview consisting of myself and the startlingly badass artist Kenya Robinson talking shit made it irresistible. This issue features Andrea Flockhart Benjamin Frederickson Candystore Cary Fagan Charlie Engman Erin Reznick Guillaume Blondiau HannsjÃ¶rg Voth Hudson Hayden Jordan…Read More
Meat me halfway.
When I first entered the BDSM/kink “community,” I realised that, in addition to being referred to as a “n00b” [or newbie by the less nerdy kinksters] I was also slapped with the label “fresh meat.” And treated accordingly…for a few moments. Due to my particular circumstances [I was immediately involved in a restricted relationship and…Read More
Five Years Ago Today
Five Years Ago Today, I received possibly the most Austrian marriage “proposal” in the history of ever. We had lunch today in Grand Central, to commemorate the afternoon that Der Spousemeister, agitated after a weaksauce meeting with an arrogant lawyer, seemed like he might have proposed. How does this happen, you ask? Well, lemmie tell…Read More
Dear White Folks in Africa: Sorry!
I don’t often get direct hate-mail, and certainly not hate-mail from the Motherland. Today, not only did those streams get crossed, I’ve been advised that, somehow, I will be responsible for the safety of whites in Africa. “But Mollena,” you thoughtfully inquire, “…what in the actual fuck?” Read on, my friend. Read on. On Sun,…Read More
If you don’t know, you need to know. There is a magnificent human, LadySpeech Sankofa aka QuiAnna Ray, and you absolutely need to pick up what she’s laying down. She often shares on Facebook, and does weekly reading and affirmation shares. One afternoon in October, I tuned in for QuiAnna Rayâ€™s Monday reading. On this…Read More
It goes to show you never can tell.
I’m a fan of Google calendar. I’ve never had a head for recalling dates, and time has an odd, elastic quality for me. An event that went down 38 years ago will sometimes resonate with greater strength than yesterday’s happenings, and even a phrase or a snippet of song can pull my entire body back…Read More
November 11th: US Premier of “The Artist And The Pervert!”
Come see our movie!Read More
#WhyIDidntReport Los Angeles, 1993. I was working at a pool bar that was actually an Armenian mafia front, but I did not know that yet. A co-worker invited me to her Mom’s bar…free drinks all night. How could a fledging alkie resist? She casually mentioned it was absolutely the safest place to go hang out…Read More
Just me. Just now. Just fine.
Going to Leather, Kink and BDSM events brings so much to the forefront of my mind. Most impactful are my social anxiety and the pressure I place(d) on myself to excel at everything. To be the best presenter. The most amazing bottom/sub. To be a part of one of the most memorable scenes. Once I…Read More
Stories: Real & Surreal.
This week sees the publishing of one of my True Tales in an anthology and one of my Fairy Tales in another anthology that is being RE-published! “Leather Ever After” has some amazing and brilliant stories…and I’m gonna do a thing I rarely do and toot MY horn because I am swaggeringly proud of my…Read More
Hot Time! Summer…in your city?
After the first half of the summer spent running around Europe, Der Spousemeister and I get back to the funky-ass Ewe Ess of Aay and hit the road for a few events! Check me out teaching at Thunder in the Mountains or come party with usÂ Weekend Reunion!Read More
“Love, Kink & Service”LONDON! June 30 – July 1, 2018
If you wanna get one of the last places in the upcoming intensive I’m conducting with the amazing, amazing support from Rowan at Making Love With God. I have wanted to be able to get into the guts and soul of Power Exchange, and have more than 60-90 minutes to do so. I am so…Read More