One year ago today, a rather intriguing e-mail hit my inbox on OKCupid.

One year and one week ago today, in a very demanding conversation with my Higher Power, I’d let Him know I was done with these crazy dreams and schemes I’d had. I was depressed. I was just back from a wildly unsuccessful speaking tour. I was lonely, I was creeping on the end of my savings from the job I’d left in 2010. And I was tired.

i advised my HP that Id done everything I could. Lived large. Took the big risks. I was blessed with a home, thanks to the generosity of Karen & Laura, dba The Evil Jewish Lesbian Landladies. But this amazing situation, blessed as it was, wasn’t a forever home. And I was so tired of walking on my own. It wasn’t too much to ask that I have love and unconditional support…or was it?

And as the deadline for me buckling down and being serious about getting a Default World Job and coming to a place of peace where my being single didn’t have to mean I was miserable, this message popped up…

Hi Mollena,

wow – your profile is great (theatre, sub, unusual spiritual fodder, curvifat black chick, trembling flower of submission…)
I am older than you want (60) but I have a strong German/Austrian accent.
I am strongly interested in BDSM with some experience (I am top) and I do not drink any alcohol.
I trust in the definition of Robert Mapplethorpe “SM means Sex and magic”.

I am an artist, very successful (probably member of the of top 10 or 20 in my genre in the world), crazy, developing new spaces. Especially interested in the dark sides of emotions.

I would like to tame you.

Warm wishes,

A couple of days later, I showed up for dinner at his apartment.

In a couple of days, we will celebrate our anniversary with a handful of peeps and our Super Badass Rabbinical Officiant.

In the past year, we have been all over Europe, up to Canada, down to Australia, and bounced around the USA, coast to coast to island.

We have had our ups and downs and around the block. We learn each other every day.

I consider myself to be blessed and fiercely fortunate. As does my Owner.

Hope is alive. Reality supersedes even dreams.

I love you, sir. Thank you.

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  1. karida on December 19, 2014 at 1:27 PM

    Thank you for giving me hope. I am today, nearly at the place you were a year ago.

  2. William on December 19, 2014 at 11:53 PM

    I am so happy for both of you!

  3. Tracy on December 20, 2014 at 12:52 AM


  4. Rayne Millaray on December 21, 2014 at 7:48 AM

    Congratulations, Mo and HM. So glad you found each other. Here’s to many more anniversaries.

  5. Nisha on December 21, 2014 at 5:14 PM

    Awwwwww. I’m so happy for you. I adore the convos that you post on Facebook between you and HM. I hope I’m blessed with a love of my own someday. Congrats!

  6. Curvaceous Dee on December 22, 2014 at 12:33 PM

    *beams* I smiled so much reading this – congrats and big hugs!

    xx Dee

  7. Krissy on January 12, 2015 at 1:51 PM

    It was lovely meeting him at the party out here. (It was good seeing you too… but less brand-new-experience-like.)

    I am so happy to see you getting more of what you deserve in this lifetime. You are a rocking lady and I am really glad to see good stuff happening for you. I love you.

  8. Ebony Body Works on January 15, 2015 at 6:44 PM

    Congrats my sweet lady. You deserve the VERY best