How to love.

In having an intense moment of deep connection with my higher power, I’m moved to share.

My personal relationship with my manifestation of the divine is…complicated…by my logic and skepticism. And yet, just now, when I was somehow able to create a visualization that actually quieted my active mind (not a thing that ever works for me, so that alone is magical) and I was with him in an away place and I felt such love and peace and connectedness it devoured my breath.

“Love yourself. Love yourself as you love me.”

came the wordless instructions. “I don’t even know what you are or if I actually believe in you,” I responded, because I just…don’t. I don’t know. How could I?

He smiled with His being

“Yes, and still you feel this love and wholeness. This is what I say. Love yourself even as you do not know who you are or if you actually believe in yourself. Your love for me transcends that which you have been taught on earth. This you were born with. It is pure, and absolutely devoid of doubt or prejudice. This is how you love me,” He whispered “and this is how you must love yourself.”

Since the moment I became sober and pursue a life of sobriety I have struggled. How to love myself. How to love the dark voice that plagued me. How to forgive myself. Today I have an answer. It is difficult and it is  simple. Love myself as I love my god. 

Let us move toward this.