Personal
Chasing the demon.
Since my Spousemeister was invited to be on of the masters in residence (heehee) at the Atlantic Center for the Arts, I of course would be accompanying him on a 3-week sojourn in Florida. In Summer. No Bueno. But I realised that one of the other master tracks was for writing and hey…I’m writing a…
Read MoreSeven.
Seven years ago today, I was in rehab, on about six different medications to try to keep me alive but sedated so I wouldn’t have seizures. Because roughly 10% of alcoholics who stop drinking cold turkey are killed by brain seizures. I was ashamed and terrified but determined to try to live. I met my…
Read MoreRecomposition.
Skidding into the end of a year that was, on balance, more emotionally difficult than not, and rough on my relationships I held dear. Amidst the usual online dating fails, I received a message on December 19th. Respectful with a little bit of zest, acknowledging he was a bit older than I’d initially indicated I…
Read MoreVeteran’s Day, and a thought for my Father.
I don’t often pay much attention to Veteran’s Day except to ponder the horribleness of war. But this morning I realized the most influentiam man of my childhood served in the armed forces..and I don’t even know where he is today. My Father is (was?) a Navy Vet, having served  in Vietnam and surviving the…
Read MoreFrom The Archives: “Feeling Safe in Feeling Human”
[Originally Posted in the fall of 2011, my thinking on submission and what it means to me now has motivated me to dig back and see what it meant to me then.] “The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.†~Buddha As a submissive – someone who…
Read MoreVD 2013…same old song.
VD. Blah blah, buckets of haterade. I AM bitter and single on VD. Again. I have spent more of them single than not. And the ones where I WAS partnered, the pressure made ’em miserable. My friend, the awesome Laura Antoniou, has a rather compelling essay on why she’s not a fan… check it out here. I was…
Read MoreI’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day.
Sometimes I stop and take stock and crack myself up. I’m living my life from the inside so I don’t often think about the reality of how amazing it is, really. So this morning when I said to my roomate / Evil Landlady (who happens to be internationally known author and speaker Laura Antoniou) and…
Read MoreGoodbye, Wedge.
I found out last week that my one remaining cat, Wedge, was sick. But I guess i can’t call him mine because I’d tried to find him a home before i left California so that his life would be more stable. As I found out last week, his life wasn’t all that stable after all. He had…
Read MoreHow You Know You Are On The Rag.
1) Experience Violent chocolate pudding craving. 2) Go on midnight pudding run in strange town. 3) Discover there is no pre-made pudding. 4) Buy milk, pudding mix & Lactaid pills so you can eat whole milk. 4A)…because FUCK SOY MILK I AM TIRED OF NOT HAVING THE REAL STUFF YOU BASTARD COLON!!
Read MoreThis is today. Tomorrow will, I’m sure, be different.
There isn’t much grace or dignity in pouring out one’s guts all over the damn internet. I’m protective of my rough spots, mostly because I loathe the idea of The Haters smirking smugly at my difficulty. And also because it is pretty easy to look at someone’s life from the outside and assume they’re doing…
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