The Perverted Negress » Beards: Style Choice or Harbinger of Evil?

March 17, 2009

Beards: Style Choice or Harbinger of Evil?

Filed under: Real-Honest-To-Ganesha-True-Shit. — Mollena Williams @ 2:05 pm

Maybe it is just me but I find facial hair to be tickly.

I pretty much haven’t ever dated anyone with much facial hair, and in the one exception I made, there really wasn’t much kissing involved in that relationship. I saw more smooch time with this individuals boots than I ever did lip locking.

Of course, mention this on Twitter and facial hair sporters and defenders creep up on your ass to talk trash.

Whether you believe beards are a straight up indicator of Evil Inside or are living under the illusion that bears are mere chin warmers, I am beginning to suspect conspiracy.

Spock

I’m well aware of the Star Trek Corollary, and I respect it.

But I seem to know an Awful Lot of VMM* with beards.

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I wonder if perverts grow beards to subtly scent the winds with their Dastardly Pheromones, or if perhaps the indication and presence of a facial merkin subsequently incites the wearer to insidious acts of depraved, dastardly, despicable acts of nightmarish torture…like bondage and flogging and knife-play and single-tailing and electrical torture and…um…

OK, pardon me.

I’ll be right back…

*The VMM (Very Mean Man / Ma’am) is a distincition I bequeath to particularly nasty fucking sadists I love dearly. If you have it, you know it.)

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Comments (4)

4 Comments »

You’re an adorable vixen! I’m really happy that you’re in this world, with your ideas and your smile!

I hope that I bump into you at IMsL this weekend!

DJ

Reply
mollena Reply:
March 21st, 2009 at 3:58 am
Bumping and squashing, yes?

xoxo

~Mo

Reply

Comment by daddy jane — March 17, 2009 @ 2:35 pm
My boyfriend keeps a beard because he thinks it distracts you from looking at his not so perfect teeth. I personally think he’d look like a baby without it even though he’s 34.

Reply
mollena Reply:
March 21st, 2009 at 4:00 am
I DO recall, not that I try to recall, a boyfriend I dated during the LA years who had one of those VanDyke jimbobs, and I wondered what he might look like without it. I regretted asking…the beard really really helped with that lack of chin thing he had going on. But then he grew it back and it was all fine.

Of course, then he dumped me and it wasn’t mine to fret about anymore.

*snerk*

xoxo

~Mo

Reply

Comment by Megan — March 19, 2009 @ 4:13 am

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