HNT! [Horsie Nekkid Thursday]
Since I’m almost 40 (3 days to go!) and therefore entitled to not give a flying fuck about what people have to say about me, this week’s HNT is brought to you from horseback.
Click through to meet my friend, Prince Frederick 
I bought him not long after I got sober. I was on unemployment, barely scraping by. I passed a little antique store near my house one afternoon, coming back from an AA meeting, and saw him there.
No, I’m not a collector of antiques (well, except maybe Franciscanware Desert Rose stoneware and china) but this wasn’t just about an antique. It was about something I’ve always wanted and never had.
A lot of life is like that.
You want something, very very much even, and when you don’t get it it leaves a little footprint somewhere in your heart. And maybe years later…maybe decades later, on the other side of the continent, that little footprint that you so long ago outgrew, or thought you had, resonates for you again.
And a rocking horse big enough for a grown-up to sit on was exactly what my newly dried-out inner child wanted.
SO, she got him.
I negotiated the price down a bit and the nice men in the store agreed to hold him for me until my next Unemployment Benefit check arrived.
OK, sure you might think ”I am SO ratting her out to the gubmint! You are NOT supposed to spend unemployment money on &^%$ toys!”
And maybe that is true for most people. But in those early days of living life without the haze of booze, I felt so comforted by the sight of this silly horse in the windows of my flat. I love rocking on him too. Despite the fact that several overprotective friends were certain I was going to rock myself out of the bay windows, and thought my priorities were somewhat fucked up, I did what I wanted to do. For a change, it wasn’t destructive, and it felt good.
One day we will rock in that horse in the Bunny suit and on that day Nirvana will be attained.
I sit on that fucking horse and rock. Sometimes, weeks will go by and I won’t. I run around a lot. I sometimes forget to make time.
Tonight I remembered.
So, there you have it. Just one piece of why I keep myself alive one day at a time.
So I can rock.
Happy HNT!
I love your horsie! So, hey, did you get the email I sent you???
Reply
Comment by Lolita Wolf — June 17, 2009 @ 11:14 pm
Ok.. Totally love the story, and the picture… you so totally do ROCK… in so many ways…
Keep on Rocking sweetie….
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Comment by Freakbear — June 17, 2009 @ 11:38 pm
you’re supposed to spend your benefits money on whatever helps you get out of the situation you’re in, honey, and that’s exactly what you did. that was nice of the folks at the store to work with you on a payment plan too!
me? i’m spending some of my welfare money on a digital camera to keep me happy and sane until i’m happy and sane enough to start working again!
i’m glad prince frederick and his footprint have stayed with you all these years; they sure do inspire sexy hnt pictures.
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Comment by danimo21 — June 18, 2009 @ 3:06 am
OK, that’s pretty cool! And I like your attitude about your bday coming up! Have a very happy birthday!
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Comment by osbasso — June 18, 2009 @ 7:31 am
that is such a beautiful story. and a lovely image, so sweet.
love what you say about desire leaving a footprint (btw, there was a bit of a discussion on that yesterday on twitter, with @hyblis)
my birthday is coming up soon, too, and goddess/horses/HP willing, i’ll finally go to a real midsummer (litha) event on sunday. i’ll be thinking of you and your princely horse.
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Comment by isabella mori — June 18, 2009 @ 9:41 am
This touched my heart. I would never spend money on something like this and you’ve helped me to understand that I should reconsider that.
I am fortunate to have friends like you in my life.
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Comment by bailey — June 18, 2009 @ 9:49 am
I want one!!
Amazing pic
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Comment by His_Baby_Doll — June 18, 2009 @ 11:48 am
had a horse kinda like that when I was a wee lad…. be on it watching westerns with my Dad…. the memory that you brought
forth from me is so hellacool….
lamesabassman….. shazam…
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Comment by lamesabassman — June 18, 2009 @ 5:38 pm
Happy Birthday …. may the wind be always at your back….. never bet against an inside straight….. always do so you’ll never be done…. never dine at any place named “Mom’s ” ….. and never play cards with anyone named ” Doc”……
lamesabassman….. have a go…. it’s your birthday…. kick it..
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Comment by lamesabassman — June 18, 2009 @ 10:31 pm