Random flashback. WAY back.

SO I was on FaceBook after thumbs-upping a good article with suggestions for how to come out to non-kinky folks (I personally eschew the term “vanilla” because I feel too many perverts use it as a smeary smarmy superior pejorative) about being a pervert. And I quipped that my coming-out process usually involved my saying “Um. Have you googled me? Go ahead. I’ll wait.” and that pretty much seals the deal.

In response to this a buddy mentioned that they DID in fact google me and that I seemed to have control over the first page of listings for “Mollena”

Weird shit pops up. Of course, there’s the song The British Musician wrote. The one named after me is easy enough to grok. Funny thing is, he wrote other songs about me, but you’d only know that if he’d whispered it into your ear from thousands of miles away as your heart longed for him…

But I digress.

So Wow the internets are weird. I know I have been muse for various playwrights and at least one songwriter. Until just now I didn’t know that a song about me inspired someone to create a virtual “Mollena” :-o

Anyway, google me and my entry on IMDb comes up, too. I don’t have many credits. One of which you’ve never heard, promise. one of which you may have heard of if you’re a massive fan of Danny Bonaduce or a cult movie buff. And the third you  have definitely heard of and probably seen.

I sang backup in the Children’s Chorus for “The Wiz,” and I went over to YouTube to listen to the tracks on which I sang.  What is seriously eerie is that I can hear me singing. I would  have been 8 ~ 9 years old, and we were in a studio in midtown, doing this recording over a couple of days. Kazoos were involved.

In hearing it now, so many memories came flooding back: meeting Diana Ross, Nipsey Russell, and being pissed that Michael Jackson was there but never came in to say hello to us.  We met Lena Horne, too, and for some reason Geoffrey Holder was there. And Yeah he does laugh like he did on those 7-Up commercials.

We did that first song, “He’s The Wiz,” on the first day.  I was chosen to come back the next day to sing with a smaller group on backup for another song, which was Glinda’s theme. The first minute or so of this odd clip is the only version I could find, and frankly it sounds kinda eerie to me.

Now I can’t remember why I was talking about this shit…

Oh yeah. I don’t have a particular reason. Just up late, pulling myself apart trying to play Priestess. I’m not having much luck divining my own fate, even as I pull out my own emotional entrails.

Part of me is stuck as that little kid, veering between the magic of movies and television, fame and fourune always jus tone audition away, who traveled the world yet grew  up poor and never feeling good enough. I wonder what it will take for me to accept my own miracles. Some I do, sure. And I get small glimpses, here and there…wait. Where was I again? Fuck…

OK. Um…So.

I was just riffing in my head about how trippy chains of association can be. And how odd my childhood was.

Is.

Is it over? Not by half.

And it is late. And I have to be up in a few hours for a taping of a Public Access / Internet TV show about…sex. Shockingly :-)