Jun 282012

YeahOKSo…there it is. I haven’t much experience with doing sex only because you’re gonna be photographing it, so I might have been nervous except I wasn’t all that nervous.

See? Not nervous at all…. jazz hands!

I was glad I thought to bring condoms, but unfortunately, these were lubricated. Upside? the lube wasn’t of a particularly janky flavor.

I did wonder if I’d look like a dork with my mouth all gaping open and stuff.  To be honest, I think most people look pretty silly with a phallic object in their mouth. I just don’t personally find it sexy!

Maybe you’re of a different opinion, in which case you may well enjoy the next couple of days of photos…


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Jun 272012

I did as thorough I job as I could with the shaving. The inexpensive disposable razors are not optimal for getting too close without mircocuts but no serious exsanguination occurred. I took care to keep everything clean…shaving foam helped.


Mollena Williams by Charles Gatewood

By the time I was done shaving, that moment of “UM, OK, so next is supposed to be the whole blowjob part of the shoot. And of course, I was still pondering my “Yes.”

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Jun 262012

“What I really like is being shaved…”

I assumed he didn’t mean he enjoyed help with his chin stubble. I haven’t done an interactive photo shoot, and I haven’t done anything that was exceedingly explicit. But hey, what the fuck. I was 9 days away from 43 years old and adding another skeleton to my jammed-like-Mecca-during-Hajj closet o’skeletons seemed the right thing to do.

“OK, but I can’t kneel in front of you, My knees will not tolerate it. How’s about you get on that stool and I sit on this chair?”

Stool, chair, towel, shaving cream, disposable razor…check check checkity check yo self before you wreck yo self and we were off. As was his hair.

It was less weird than I thought it would be.
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Jun 252012

I did a shoot with legendary photographer Charles Gatewood a couple of weeks ago. When we were discussing what he was working on, one of the projects on his table involved more explicit stuff than I’ve done before. And I thought about it quite thoroughly. I wondered how I would feel about having photos of myself that weren’t just nekkid, not just suggestive, but that would involve genitals, like, in my face.

But it isn’t every day you get to be photographed by someone who has also snapped pix of Ginsburg, Dylan, Burroughs, Sly Stone, and pretty much every kind of kinky shit you can imagine. And some you hadn’t.

I’m gonna post a photo a day this week, and some of ’em will be behind the cut because of the porny factor.

Today is less porny and more pony!

“Oracle” ~ Charles Gatewood, 2012

May 292009

Oh my god! OK, so a couple of months ago I was chatting on Twitter with some guy I didn’t know, who said he was a photographer. I checked out his site and was blown away by his talent, and made some offhand comment about wanting to model for him.

Fast forward to NOW and HOLYMOTHERFUCKING SHIT not only was the shoot a source of some images that, even in my pickiness and crankiness find stellar (you can see some of them here on my blog…just rootle around a while!) but I have the Brobdingnagian honor of being on the cover of one of his upcoming books.

"Seconds" ~ photos by melvin moten jr.

"Seconds" ~ photos by melvin moten jr.



I know, that is SO. FUCKING. COOL.


Even though I am kind of embarrassed that a picture of me masturbating is going to be on someones coffee table somewhere sometime in the not-too-distant-future.



May 122009

Substantia Jones, photographer and curator of the Adiposivity Project pinged me a while back and we got to chatting about doing a shoot. The stars aligned and we were able to meet and take some pictures.

And then the atmosphere itself aligned for a moment of effulgency heretofore unknown to me in terms of moments captured.


We were on the roof of a FOAF who’d been amenable to the shoot happening at his condo in NYC. We did a few setups and then went up to the roof, with a view of the river and surrounded by Harlem and wrapped in warm breezes.  Substantia had only a few shots on the card when the warm breeze suddenly carried huge drops of warm rain down to earth.

Warm rain.

I miss warm rain. Se, we don’t get that in San Francisco. And so much came rushing back to me. The smell of rain on a heated sidewalk. The feeling of being wet…and not minding it. All of that so real and so rich and I was so happy to be at HOME and outside and … free.

And this is me in that moment.

And I hope you have moments such as these too.

Apr 102009

Despite the fact that I’ve been in front of the camera professionally since the age of 5, I am always apprehensive about photography.

I fear I’ll look goofy, or that the person taking the picture will somehow look at me in a way that doesn’t capture the “real me” or worse yet, that the “real me”  is not much to look at. That is why many of the pictures you see of me are self portraits…like the ones on the left there of me blissing myself.

Melvin Moten Jr. found me on Twitter somehow. Being the obsessive fucking Twitter addict that I am, within 35 seconds of receiving a response from him to some bit-o-bullshit I posted, I was checking out his tweets, his friend list, his follower list and then his website.

photo By Melvin Moten Jr

"Choke"~photo by Melvin Moten Jr.


His website.


Oh. My. God.


Fantastic photography.


Fantastic fetish Photography.


Fetish photography with fat women in there too.




"Swoon" ~ Photo by Melvin Moten Jr.



When he mentioned wanting to work with me if I ever found myself on the East Coast, I was already all over Virgin Atlantic to see if I could shift my flight to my old stomping grounds back a few days, so that I could get my big black butt to Pittsburgh to so a shoot with this guy.

 Yeah, my life’s weird like that these days. But i have a little more freedom, bandwidth and stability in my life these days, so I’m-a exploit it by having amazing adventures.

Do check out his site, and his books, and marvel over how dope his work is and how awesome his models are.

 And soon enough I am gonna be one too!

 We spoke by phone last night and it was like catching up with an old friend. I learned a great deal about him, and I think he learned some about me too.

His concept for the first setup took me by surprise. It pits me in a role I never assume.  It will be interesting.

Then he asked me what I wanted to do, what I needed to show.

I was stymied. What the fuck DID I think I was doing, being photographed?

So…I told him some secrets.

I am not sure what he will do with them yet, but he will, I am sure, see even more than I think people see, because that is how I operate. Stumbling, crawling reeling along and then having myself reflected back in shattered gorgeous facets of my life’s snail-trail.

I’m excited about going to Pittsburgh.

Do you hear that every day?

Nov 092008

The Folsom Street fair rules. I have attended annually since 1997. This year, I stopped at the midpoint of the fair by a large gray cube constructed of draped fabric. I was bemused by the fact it was covered with poster-sized portraits of people in Fetish garb and assorted drag. I was gestured over by a dude who asked if I was interested in being photographed for a potential photo project. I thought, sure, yeah :-) I stepped into the line, filled out a release, and waited to face the artist.

As it turned out, the man behind the curtain was Howard Schatz. He is kind of a big deal photographic artist. He has amazing books in print. He’s got a bunch of photos from Folsom Fairs past and is in the midst of an ongoing project that may well include me!!

Last week, I received an e-mail from one of his assistants with a proof from the shots he took of me in that portable booth, and they asked if I would answer a few questions. Yes, of course. I am hardly one to demur if an artist wants to know about me.

Well fucking color me flabber-fucking-gasted when, after replying to the questions off of the top of my head, I get a message back that Mr. Schatz was “very intrigued” by my responses and might want to chat briefly with me.


Holy shi — (Yeah, that is me with nothing to say, totally blown away.)

— I mean, this guy’s met and worked with real life ….you know..famous people!!!

Anyway, here is one of the pictures he sent to me.

(C)2008, Howard Schatz

(C)2008, Howard Schatz

And here is what I said in response to his questions… hope I do wind up chatting with him! If not, wow, an honor to be a part of his oeuvre.

Thank-you for coming to our outdoor studio at The Folsom Street Fair and for allowing us to make this image. We are preparing a book on The Fair. We need text, context, content, to make the book rich, interesting, worth reading, (over and above the photos). Would you please help us by sending us your responses to these questions? WHEN WE RECEIVE YOUR RESPONSES WE WILL SEND YOU A SECOND IMAGE. If you don’t want your name identified in the book, just let us know that.

1. Why do go to The Folsom Street Fair?

I’m a long-standing member of the BDSM and Leather Community. The Folsom Street Fair is a Family Reunion, a Carnival, A Freakshow, and Old Home Week, a dance, a celebration of our selves in all of our most real and most outlandish and most touching bared souls. I go because I can’t bear the thought of not going. I go because I can be “really real” me or “make believe pretend me”. I am always amused and aghast at how much closer those parts of me are than I think they are, and I carry that magic epiphany with me for the rest of the year.

2. What does your Folsom Street Fair persona say about you?

It says “Yes.” It says “Ask me!” It says “Look closer”

3. Does your FSF persona reflect the “real” you?

Absolutely. I am what I decide to be the moment I gather consciousness in the morning. Whether or not I choose to be in full getup, whether or not I decide to sport leather, I am, in my heart, a deeply wild energy gathered into human form. Whomever I am at Folsom reflects that.

4. What do you do for a living? How old are you?

Right now, I work for several adult-themed websites. My skill and ability as a writer, coupled with my knowledge of kink and of Leather community and BDSM issues landed me in a place where I can have all of those skills and make my “day job” closer to my avocation than merely an “occupation.”

I was born in 1969, on June 20th, in NY Hospital, NYC, NY.

5. How does the FSF role-playing fit into the rest of your life?

The FSF is less of a place to put on a role than it is a place to peel off the niceties of everyday life. I have more opportunities than many people when it comes to “Flying my Freak Flag,” but it is rare to have the freedom to do so in the street, in the sun, in the air, and without shame. My life is very much about finding my way and making it beautiful. Revealing my inside through the sacred and ancient act of donning ceremonial, special garb connects me to an older truth. And the truth is that we are both what we reveal and what we conceal.

6. Who are you, really?

I’m a curvy Perverted Negress, a writer, a showoff, unbelievably shy and very adept at hiding that from all but the most astute eyes. I am an actress, performer, BDSM and Leather Community educator, emotional flashpoint and violently passionate about that which moves me. I love cartoons and dumb jokes and Fellini movies and Star Wars and Star Trek. I also love floggings and submission and service and sweet potato pies. Mine are the best ever. I am a blogger (http://mollena.com) and I live life as it is handed to me with no adjustments, no chaser, and no limits to experience. And I am a nerd.

7. Anything else pertinent that you think those who will read the book will find interesting? Surprising, remarkable, really revealing and private secrets will make reading and seeing the book quite fantastic—-so please do help us let the world know the richness of human diversity.

My secret fantasies revolve around the loss of power, the ravishment of the body and the bending of the will. The idea of the politically-incorrect brutish man savagely taking what he wants from a resistant victim whose own will is subsumed by his lust and wickedly unfettered slavering needs is hot as hell to me. Nothing is more incandescent that purely lust-based transgression. As for me, give me a double helping. Being fully who you are seldom is pretty, tidy, neat and polite. Give me sloppy dirty feral gorgeousness any day. Give me joy that makes me laugh too loudly in restaurants and give me heartbreak that shatters my ego into quicksilver balls of mercurial pain across the floor. All of these things let me know I am loving, and living, true to who I am.

Anything else…? ;-) Peace