Don’t talk to me ’bout “True” if you ain’t Spandau Ballet.

Oh how I bristle when people fling their titles, judgments and assessments all over the place like jizz from the willy of an epileptic kangaroo.

I cannot count the times when some dumbass has spouted “Well, if you were a TRUE submissive, you would submit naturally and without hesitation!” or the equally shitastic “TRUE Masters KNOW the heart of their slave!”

Mercy on my soul.

There are sixteen goddamned entries in the dictionary for the word “true”.

I GUARAN-fucking-TEE you that the VAST majority of people who bandy about the term “TRUE” submissive or “TRUE” dominant are floundering about for more precise language and are sloppily using verbiage that is imprecise. That chaps my hide.

The dictionary has quite a bit to say on the word “true”. Let us see how many of the 16 definitions could, reasonably, be stapled to the ear of a HUMAN submissive or dominant person!

true (adj.) tru·er, tru·est

1. Consistent with fact or reality; not false or erroneous.

Well, um…I might not be consistent with anything, or always firmly rooted in reality, and I can be wrong, but that does NOT negate my submission.


OK, sure. If people were using this word to demarcate a lying-ass submissive or dominant, that would be one thing. But, sorry, Bzzzzzzzt, that is NOT how people are using it.

3. Real; genuine. See Synonyms at authentic.

OK, here’s the first time we’ve seen a definition that is even close to what people are talking about. Note it is in the THIRD PLACE…which means it is NOT the FIRST thing that is at the average person’s forefront, etymologically speaking. Add to that that this definition has a HIGH DEGREE of subjectivity, and it becomes wobbly.

4.Reliable; accurate: a true prophecy.

Again, perspective, subjective. Not a highly accurate usage.

5. Faithful, as to a friend, vow, or cause; loyal. See Synonyms at faithful.

See my reply to #3, but replace the “3” with a “5”.

6. Sincerely felt or expressed; unfeigned: true grief.

Who are you to ascertain this externally? How often do people mistake the intent of others? Fucking often, that’s how often!

7. Fundamental; essential: his true motive.

Incompatible within a definition of a person’s nature.

8. Rightful; legitimate: the true heir.

Inapplicable to a human person’s nature.

9. Exactly conforming to a rule, standard, or pattern: trying to sing true B.

Inapplicable: there is no rule or standard but what one creates for themselves.

10. Accurately shaped or fitted: a true wheel.

Well, if you are trying to be all poetical, sure, but in reality….no shirt, no shoes, no service. NEXT!!

11. Accurately placed, delivered, or thrown.

Inapplicable to a human person’s nature. Except in a really hot scene that involves resistance play. Then, meorwr!

12. Quick and exact in sensing and responding.

Again, if people were using this in a context that supported this TWELFTH!! definition, it would not bug the living poop outta me.

13. Determined with reference to the earth’s axis, not the magnetic poles: true north.

Um. Sure. I’ll point north for you, SuperDomMasterSir…just rub me the right way. With your MAGNET of LOVE.

14. Conforming to the definitive criteria of a natural group; typical: The horseshoe crab is not a true crab.

Oho…conformity. Do we ALL not rebel against labels? Boxes? Narrow criteria? This ought to be anathema to any free minded pervert, no? Or maybe everyone being independent just makes us all the same? You are of course a special snowflake, unique in yourself, darling…now get back in line to wait in line for the Saint Andrew’s Cross.

15. Narrowly particularized; highly specific: spoke of probity in the truest sense of the word.

Not applicable to humans, methinks. Not any interesting humans.

16. Computer Science. Indicating one of two possible values taken by a variable in Boolean logic or a binary device.

Boo-ya boo-lean! Um, again, not for human application.

OK, so, there. I think is should take care of all you who are using this word with floppy imprecision.


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  1. Malc on October 13, 2008 at 10:20 AM

    Heh! Here’s a game I can play… he he he!

    OK, ignoring the essential fact that the people who use the word in the contexts that provoketh the Mollen-ire are (as is predictable) using an entirely different word which they are spelling incorrectly[1], there are a number issues I’m going to take with your rant.

    The biggy is that dictionaries don’t list definitions in strict order of “the average person’s expectation”, for the simple reason that all definitions are valid; obviously, context is king.

    Next, I disagree that 7, 8 and 9 _could not_ be applicable; sure, that’s extremely likely not what the offending writers were thinking, but _a_ writer somewhere _could_ use it that way.

    Finally: number 14 is, of course, what the offenders want to suggest… BUT there _is_ no “natural group”, here and I dare say the horseshoe crab thinks itself a proper crab…


    [1] The word they really want is “twue”.