WTF Wednesday: Black girl. Red State.

The folks of the Arizona Power Exchange group invited me, a long while back, to teach a class for them.

That class is this weekend.

Please keep in mind, I am used to controversy. I am, after all, one of the very VERY few people in the BDSM / Leather Community openly discussing and teaching about Kinky play that involves, explores and embraces the utilization of race and cultural identity within a BDSM context. Teaching about “Race Play” isn’t a mainstream Kink lifestyle path. For reals.

For obvious reasons, that shit don’t fly for a lot of Kinksters. Understandably so. But the backlash I received when I first “outed” myself was so strong and carried so much emotional violence, I felt charged thereafter.

I felt charged, as a survivor of attacks against my integrity, my “Blackness”, my feminism, my very being.

I felt charged to stand back up after members of MY COMMUNITY, one I fought so hard to embrace, that some amongst my Leather Kin would reject me wholesale because they did not approve of an aspect of play I found difficult and intriguing.

I sure as hell did not spend years accepting that I WAS submissive to be slapped down by perverts for being “too fucked up.”

That is too much.

Today, I have a few rounds under my belt, I have taken my hits, and am sure I will take more.

But this morning it was a visceral shock to look at my upcoming itinerary, and to mentally prepare myself for the days I will spend in Arizona.

Arizona is a Red State. Very much so.

And not just a red state, but a red state that refused a bloody day off because it was attached to slain Civil Rights Leader, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

And so, here I go, in the stunned jubilant afterglow of a momentous occasion in the history of…of MANKIND, yo.

Walking into a room full of strangers, with my head held high.

Um…if I can manage it.

Walking into that room of what I assume will be mostly white faces, to talk about using our differences to fuel our spiritual and sexual lives.

Just. Wow.

My ancestor’s history in this country is not something I take lightly. On a very personal level, tapping into the collective consciousness of MY PEOPLE to investigate the past is a Big Fucking Deal.

Jai Ganesh!!

Lest I forget we don’t have a corner of suffering, only recently the folks in Arizona’s BDSM scene themselves have had a bit of a dust-up with regard to cultural issues.

Uniform fetishists know there are lines that are tough to cross. Wearing a Luftwaffe outfit might be hot for you, but slap a swastika (as appropriated from the Hindu iconography, BTW) is bound to REALLY alienate folks.

And their community is still resonating from that hit.

So, in comes the Black girl from the Ghettos of Harlem, now living in Sodom-By-The-Sea, to talk about why it is OK to tap into mankind’s darkest places, and somehow find redemption.

Is this for real? I am still shaking my head.

Can we really walk those lines without tumbling into an ideological abyss?

I’d like to quote the President Elect, Barack Hussein Obama here.

Yes, We Can.

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  1. Thomaskattus on November 5, 2008 at 6:18 PM

    Man, I wish I could be there to check out your class. That will be some heavy duty stuff right there.

  2. Jill on November 5, 2008 at 7:20 PM

    Most of us are transplants anyway and I can’t WAIT for you to come to APEX!

    You are my hero. :)

  3. Oden VP on November 6, 2008 at 5:54 AM

    Mo, Due to the economic state of our nation, I don’t really know how great the attendance to your presentation will be but please know you will be welcomed with open arms. Hopefully, I’ll have the honor of meeting you.


  4. Massa on November 6, 2008 at 8:19 PM

    Well…just wish I’d known about your APEX schedule earlier…I would love to have slipped into AZ by the backdoor (from California) and attended. As you might guess from my name, I’ve been doing heavy race-play for many years…especially in counseling those who have the fetish but having a hard time reconciling it in their lives or with their peers…or, as you point out, even within the BDSM community.

    Now maybe you can help me with my problem…
    Although I often play a racist in fetish games, I am certainly not one at heart or in real life. This gives me some feelings of guilt and dishonesty myself. In mental fetish play I find that many niggerboys (more so than wenches) press me to go further into claiming to be a real “racist” than I than I’m comfortable with. Most of my own fetish fantasy needs to be based in historical re-creation and anachronism to keep my reality from colliding with my fantasy (Falconhurst breeding farm style).

    My current problem is that it will be even more difficult for me to work with these slaves in the future, considering that I have been an ardent Obama supporter and he will be our president. I’m dreading how to respond to the slaves that may want me to continue my work with them. (Hell…I’m worried that I may never get a hard-on with a black slave again!…LOL).
    If you (or anyone else)has some advice, please send it to

    All the best of luck in your triumphant tour of Pheonix…APEX is a great group of people.
    Wish I could be there this weekend.
    “Massa” Warren

  5. Jill on November 9, 2008 at 1:21 PM

    Thank you for a great presentation Saturday!
    You are even more my HERO!

  6. mollena on November 9, 2008 at 10:33 PM

    @thomasaskatus, you’ll be able to see the disaster in SF sometime in June…doing the class at The Citadel..and with a demo top as well :-)

    Hello, Oden….yes, the turnout was, frankly, vanishingly small. And fluctuated throughout the day. But Jill has the energy of ten people and was wonderful to have there with me! Jill, thank you. And my gracious hostess, Slave Tina was my rock. She has been and continues to be an amazing resource for me here.

    @Warren, your message had the unique capacity to make me think “Ooo, ssssh, don’t use the “n-word” in the street!!

    I will think a bit more and see what percolates to the surface. It is an interesting question.


  7. Gordon Nicholson on January 10, 2009 at 6:08 AM

    good luck