Nov 202009

Look, Ma! New Tech!

Welcome to what will probably be a new regular feature on The Perverted Negress!

I can talk and you can listen and I don’t have to fucking type. What’s not to LOVE?!

Check out the post on race play inspired by Jaki, who sent me a message on FetLife and then motivated me to respond.

Now, with no further buttfuckery, you can listen to me nattering for a bit here!

Obviously, this isn’t comprehensive but I hope it gives a little insight to interested parties and the curious. Feel free to post your comments, but be advised, asshole douchebaggery won’t be tolerated. I will hex you. Srsly.

Love and fluffybunbuns!


Sep 072009

From the “Best Sex Writing 2010” Blog, written by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Best Sex Writing 2010Best Sex Writing 2010 to be Published in December 2009

I’m VERY excited about Best Sex Writing 2010 and working with guest judge Esther Perel.

We just finalized the Table of Contents and WOW is this book going to be amazing!

Foreword by: Esther Perel


My Favorite Sexual Outlaws

 by Rachel Kramer Bussel Continue reading »

Aug 212009
What kills me is that no less than SEVEN peoplethough I was Q at Beyond Leather. Um....

What kills me is that no less than SEVEN people thought I was Q at Beyond Leather. Um....

On the way to Floating World I ran into a couple of moments of Zen. The first was cool: I ran into the charming and dope ass Q in the terminal. Q was on the way to the Butch Voices Conference, even as I was headed back east for Floating World. We chatted a bit in the terminal and I marveled at how lovely it is to have friends and have paths cross in such synchronous way.

Another moment of Zen where I’d royally fucked up a plane reservation. See, Continental lets you hold a reservation for 24 hours and cancel with no harm, no foul before 24 hours when your booking. And hey, if you happen to find a cheaper fare on, say, Air Tran, you can run back all “BOOYA in your FACE Continental, I got the cheaper fare!!”  then wriggle in your chair like you da fuckin’ MAN!

Buuuut of course if you forget to cancel the Continental ticket you instead are whinging on the phone to Air Tran and taking a $75 hit as a Dork Tax.

Continue reading »

Aug 162009

This is a video of my inaugural performance at the Bawdy Storytelling in San Francisco. Curated by Dixie DeLaTour, the “Bawdy Storytelling”  is an awesome chance for people to share their lascivious lives and adult adventures! This is my first time sharing about some personal and controversial stuff in this context. Since it wasn’t a class, and I didn’t have to give qualifiers, warnings, caveats and such, I really felt free to enjoy myself and just tell the damned stories.

Continue reading »

Aug 132009
Benjy Catches the solicitation of photos!

Benjy caught this one as I encouraged folks to help me out!

I've seen too many YouTube videos to fuck around to much on stripper poles. Thanks, Sonya Lynn!

Thanks, Sonya Lynn!

I performed tonight at an AMAZING event called “Bawdy Storytelling” and you can see the information about it in my post from a couple of days ago.
Dixie DeLaTour hosts and curates it and I know how much work that can be. And I major fucking HUGE round of applause because she is flawless. She invited 7 VERY different and VERY talented storytellers to share their stories. I laughed, I was surprised to find myself choked up and teary at the tale of a loving, honest couple and a tranny sex worker, laughed at a tale of lesbian backsliding from Summer Camp, giggled over a secret celebrity story, was bemused at the seductive powers of banana bread delighted in the story of the joy…or not so much joy…of fulfilling someone ELSE’S fantasy…learned how clowns fuck and even experienced a well-placed clownyhonk of horniness,and a sassy redheaded cougar who herself has recently backslid into non-courgariness!

SO. WIN. Continue reading »

Jun 082009

Most of the people who post opinions contrary to mine on race play do not take the time to articulate much. As I mention, I take into account the opinions and feeling of dissenters whenever I speak or present on the topic.

I  am posting here, unedited, and with the express written permission of the original author, LeatherTBird3, the following blog entry that he additionally cross-posted in response to the Race Play Interview conducted by Andrea Plaid.


I have great respect for ALT’s Senior Editor Mollena Williams in many aspects and on many levels. I can certainly acknowledge and admire the courage required to broach the sensitive subject of “race play” in her recent editorial INTERVIEW BDSM and playing with Race Sr Editor Mollena Williams interviewed by Andrea Plaid Parts 1 and 2. This is a hard subject for me. My own particular brand of “PC” dictates that someone’s kink is their kink and that is to be respected. We cannot control the way we are wired or what flips that switch in us. If I were to be pilloried for all the sick shit that goes through my “heads,” it would be a worse tribulation for me than have been the inequities I have endured due to my race.

That said, whatever turns someone on, that hurts no one else, is none of my business unless I am invited to join. However, I’m just not so sure that “race play” hurts no one else. Furthermore, I am not sure if “race play” alleviates the human need to be culturally and/or ethnically superior by working through it in the realm of fantasy, or simply perpetuates this flaw in the human design that has produced the ugliest of atrocities in our history.

In part 1 of the interview Mollena suggests that fear is what makes the practice of race “play” taboo. I beg to differ with she whom I hold in high esteem. I simply do not have the heart to “play” at that which is still so real in the human psyche and is still a real live affliction suffered by many. This to me is like picking at a wound that you know is infected. It is like giving children toy guns to pretend to shoot each other while bombarding them with images of feigned brutality and bloodshed and then wondering why we live in an increasingly violent society.

There is a paradoxical dichotomy within me that comes part and parcel with my African-American heritage. It is the need to learn the lessons, reap the benefits and garner the strength that seethes within my culture without dragging along the anger spawned of the pain, despair, degradation and indignities which are linked inexorably with being black in America for my generation and the generations before me. Starting with not knowing from which African nation and culture the African contingent of my family actually came from, to being the target of racial epithets right here on our beloved ALT and having the powers that be fail to enforce their own rules regarding racial attacks, my race, my family and I have fought to attain this small and tenuous measure of equality.

My job as a human is to distill the power and strength of character that can be derived from a culture achieving this new-found equality while casting aside the bitter dregs of anger which can only impede further progress despite its justification. The struggle is to identify with my African-American heritage without being defined by it. The struggle to be “just a man” while both holding on to and letting go of the experience upon which that man is built. Many have died and suffered to make this paradox possible. It took quite a bit of soul searching to come to these conclusions and I will not have that which we have struggled for generation to attain reduced to a sex toy.

Mo goes on to say that her pussy is not interested in uplifting the race. I am not trying to “hate” on Mo but admitting freely to thinking with her genitals on issues of such import supports racist stereotypes and smacks of the “I’m gonna get mine,” slave culture mentality that continues to plague our proud race. I know that Mo was trying to be humorous but this statement is akin to a patriot who is willing to sellout his country for a blow job.

Miss Williams further suggests that the subjugation of a race or culture is a part of human nature; an assertion with which I am prepared to agree. I would even go one step further as to say that Dominance and submission is a part of our animal nature; That part of us that so many wish to deny and yet never can quell. We as humans are the only creatures on this planet with the intellect to govern the instincts we have found to be ineffective, effectively bringing about and guiding our own intellectual evolution. It is this need to rule our own passions that has spawned the concepts of law and morality.

The overwhelming majority of the world’s governments have deemed racial discrimination to be unlawful and amoral and for good reason. To play with race in this fashion is to spit in the face of Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X and the thousands of black soldiers who fought in American wars as men only to come “home” to be treated as they were less than other men who did not do as much for their country. Abolition of racial and cultural discrimination is the only way to purge it from society. To make a game out of our on going struggle for sexual satisfaction is to make a mockery of all efforts toward that end.

In Strength, Honor, and Humility,

Jun 032009

I recently received a comment from a reader on my blog here that was if critical import to me in a time where i face cutting criticism and sometimes feel like I’m swimming upstream on a futile mission about which no one really cares. 

I’ll quote it here:

Wow. I am blown away. I read the whole interview front to back and my head is spinning. I guess I never really thought about the way we have all been “Puritanically” brainwashed about race. I’m Choctaw Indian and my VERY white Master and I giggle about me being the “captive Indian Squaw to his white man captor” a lot but I never really looked too deeply into the WHY of why its so much fun for me. Thank you for being open and honest about that part where you said you learned that you are “submissive to authority.” I am the same way and have known that for a long time but having the guts to say it out loud is so different from acknowledging it in your own head. I plan to re-read this interview several times as you brought out a lot of seriously important things not just about race play or the kink community but about perceptions and understanding the psychology behind why we fear what we fear


Something I said altered her thinking.  This isn’t something people hear every day.  But I hear it more and more when I talk about the hard stuff. What submission is. How play can be risky. What it is to be a minority, what it is to be fat.

I hear it more and more.

When I was in Chicago for Shibaricon, I had several people walk up to me and say similar things. This is a strange and exhilarating and humbling experience.  I was walking through the dungeon with Lolita when these two people came up, individually,  and shared this with me. Later on she and I were talking about some of the flack I’d been taking for being public on such a tough topic. She pointed out that the folks who’d spoken with me weren’t just blowing smoke up my ass but that they were quite passionate about sharing their experience, and that this was something I needed to take to heart and hold close.  Not the other shit.

Let me sit with that…

Something I was moved to share, to talk about, to write about…changed someone’s life. Their way of thinking. How they see themselves. For the better.



Because of that, I carry on.

I won’t back down from who I am. I will not be made to feel like I am “wrong” or that I should hide in the closet for what I do.

When other kinky people to turn their rancor on me for reasons of difference in life-experience, sexual preferences and desire, it is sad, but no longer completely shocks me.

Funny though These same people won’t blink an eye when a local dungeon holds a “Slave Auction.” These same people use tools of oppression,  of torture, with a gleam in their eye but feel free to trash me because they have decided that I have “gone too far.”


I know from my own personal experience that some of my more vehement violent critics are those who play in the dark recesses of the mind and heart when it comes to racial politics in and out of the bedroom, but their own issues provoke them to lash out at me, who dare drag this “beast” to the light.

I’ve read post after post where people make tangential arguments and specific examples of why I am wrong to do this type of play. SO many of these people were drawing from NON-CONSENSUAL examples of race based violence.

Go ahead and skip over the fact that we in the BDSM community are basing ALL OF OUR INTERSECTIONS ON CONSENT if you wish. But I see the flaw in your criticism.

We are all about consent. Nothing I do can ever “trivialize” the sacrifices and horrors of what my family went through in the past.


So for you to give ME the power to MITIGATE HISTORY is pretty fucking flattering!

But you know what else it is?

Wrong. Wrong and specious.

I travel all over the U.S. to Leather Conventions. I am invited all over the country to share, lecture, teach and present on MANY topics.

And I have done the class on Race play perhaps a dozen times. Every time it is nerve-wracking for me, because people come in with chips on their shoulders.  I rarely demo scene for these classes. MOSTLY because I can count on one hand the people I trust, for my own reasons, to do this play.  Also because I fear being so vulnerable in front of unknown entities.

That being a potentially hostile audience.

Doing a race play scene in front of a roomful of strangers is walking through the veld with a steak stapled to your ass.

I fear the potential for negativity sliming  me when I am insanely exposed and vulnerable.

But so far I’ve been kept safe. People are present. Sometimes guarded and ready to pounce.

But they listen, and we talk.

Thing about the online medium, it allows you anonymity and distance to say shit you would probably re-think if you were afforded the opportunity to look me in the eye and actually talk to me about these issues. Therefore, I allow for some of the language to roll off of my back. But not all of it.  Because it is important for me to remember how tough this is, and how real. And that is part of the reason I carry on. Because shirking away from it won’t make it go away.

To those who have negative things to say about race play: believe me, I know, more than you who have NEVER fucking DONE IT, what it bloody means.

And for those who wave the flag of “More oppressed than thou:” assume nothing. That is the road to ruin when it comes to truly understanding one another. You. Don’t. Know. My. Heart. Not all of it.

I respect your humanity and your right to not do what I do.  I regret you fail to reciprocate that respect.

So no, I won’t debate. The point of debate is to persuade people to your POV. I have no desire or inclination to do that. My desire and inclination is to suggest ways to open yourself to discussion, dialogue, new and different thoughts.

Because that is my job, actually, when I think about it.

And I make it a point to do my best to kick ass when I have a job to do.


Wow. I am blown away. I read the whole interview front to back and my head is spinning. I guess I never really thought about the way we have all been “Puritanically” brainwashed about race. I’m Choctaw Indian and my VERY white Master and I giggle about me being the “captive Indian Squaw to his white man captor” a lot but I never really looked too deeply into the WHY of why its so much fun for me. Thank you for being open and honest about that part where you said you learned that you are “submissive to authority.” I am the same way and have known that for a long time but having the guts to say it out loud is so different from acknowledging it in your own head. I plan to re-read this interview several times as you brought out a lot of seriously important things not just about race play or the kink community but about perceptions and understanding the psychology behind why we fear what we fear.


May 192009

I usually do become nervous before classes. But tonight it is compounded by the hateful email, the unpleasant reactions on another site about the race play interviews, my own delicately-balanced self-esteem, and feeling more than a little lonely.

It isn’t ever easy to present, and with the gnawing realization that *gasp* someone out there wishes me ill, it becomes tough. Those of you who are “sensitives” might get me on this. Not to go too woo-woo, but fuckit.

There is no demo for the class tonight.  Oh, don’t get me wrong. I angled for one. But got a casual blow-off on it from the person I approached. The vanishingly small group of others with whom I might have done the class were each less than optimal for other reasons.  Corralling my need and approach for aftercare in these situations is a dance I know well. And for many reasons, I really only would have been OK with this one individual helping with the class. But they weren’t interested.

Technically, that is OK. But did it tap my fear of being fucked up? Yeah, it sure did.

I am advised that I am a good presenter regardless if I have  song-and-dance showtime in the class.

But regardless of that, I can say I am honestly glad I don’t have this class scheduled for a long while.

Because it is a certainty that, at the end of tonight, I will crawl into bed with my stuffed elephant and cry.

May 172009

It is not the first time that someone has been whipped into enough of a frenzy to excoriate me publicly. Years ago, when I was just talking about race play among  a small group of people, and had only one class under my belt, I took this type of fuckery much more heavily.

Nowadays, I am mostly unruffled by such bullshit.

But today, it went down again, but with an extra twist: someone threatened violence.


Hopefully, this so-called class will fail miserably to attract even enough interest to cover the cost of presenting this abomination as “kink”.
Forced Black slavery = 60 million known deaths, Ethnic cleansing at the hands of the Nazis = 10 million known deaths, the European takeover of North American = uncalculated deaths that totaled the annihilation of multiple races and the loss forever of countless traditions and ways of life.
A really small segment of misguided people, attempting to seek justification in re-enacting that which the public has repeatedly rejected as far to painful, to far too many is again  on a quest to show that anything is acceptable when it is defined as “kink”.
This response is written to assure that you are aware of those who will react in the extreme, to any such scenes played out in a public venue. While no one can deny the right of adults to do as they please in private as long as the acts are consensual and non injurious, no one should be dumb enough or uncaring enough to force this issue in a public venue. 
For the record, I am one of those militant-minded individuals who will react violently to such a scene, should I to come upon one in public. All should be warned that I am not alone, as such would injure many and they will react most unpleasantly to such a scene.


It takes ovaries of steel, really, for me to do what I do and I rarely give myself credit for this. The first time I taught the “race play” class at a national event was Black Rose.  I was very nervous.  Afraid I’d be heckled, booed out of the venue.

However. The room was SRO packed and filled with a broad spectrum (well, broad by Leather Community standards) of kinksters. All curious, all respectful, even when they differed in opinion.

This was gratifying because I’d had my share of abuse heaped on my head. All of it from other POC.

I haven’t ever censored myself out of fear.  I am not about to now.  

Once I saw this message posted on a list associated with the Citadel, where I’ll be presenting my discussion on race play the day after tomorrow, I brought it to the attention of Phil, the Manager of the Citadel. Taking my concerns seriously, he called an old friend of mine, Jay Wiseman, who is a good resource and cautious to a fault. Jay called me and calmed me down a bit. (Thanks dudes.)

Indeed, this is most likely posturing, and the threat wasn’t SPECIFICALLY against ME.

But still…

Over it.