Happy (Healthy Hooters) Half-Nekkid Thursday!

When I first started to grow boobs I was dismayed. My areola, being HUGE from the get-go lead me to believe I was doomed to have tits that were ALL. AREOLA.

I mostly have grown into them but I still think it looks kind of odd. Whatever.

As my 40th birthday snuck up to smash me on the head, I made sure to celebrate it well, and to look back fondly on my life.

And, as I had 2 visits (one for a fall, one for teh Ovary of Doom) to the Kaiser ER within a 2 week period,  I was repeatedly reminded by the helpful Kaiser nurses that it was time for me to have the old girls ‘grammed.

I’d memories of Mom having a bruise on her breast from her exams, and I wasn’t looking forward to it.

The most helpful suggestion I received was from my friend Dana who recommended I imagine that I was being mauled by the known boobiemauler Gray during the procedure. This lead to my possibly being the first patient to giggle like a complete idiot while having her tit squashed between plexiglass and steel.

I was going to post this on the Thursday of the exam but I wanted to wait until the results were in, and so they are.

I’m all clear, for now. Thank Ganesha!

But my demographic is a troubling one for breast cancer.

I can haz Mammogram?

African-American and Low–Socioeconomic Status Patients Have a Worse Prognosis for Invasive Ductal and Lobular Breast Carcinoma: Do Screening Criteria Need to Change?

Presented at the Southern Surgical Association 120th Annual Meeting, Palm Beach, FL, November 30 to December 3, 2008.

Relin Yang, MD, Michael C. Cheung, MD, Dido Franceschi, MD, FACS, Judith Hurley, MD, Youjie Huang, MD, DrPH, Alan S. Livingstone, MD, FACS, Leonidas G. Koniaris, MD, FACS

Received 28 September 2008; accepted 7 October 2008. published online 21 January 2009.


Determine the effect of race, socioeconomic status (SES) and other demographic variables on outcomes of patients with invasive ductal and lobular breast cancer.

Study Design

Florida cancer registry and inpatient hospital data were queried for patients diagnosed with invasive breast cancer from 1998 to 2002.


A total of 63,472 patients with breast cancer were identified. Overall, 90.5% of patients were Caucasian, 7.6% African American, and 8.7% Hispanic. African-American patients presented at a younger age and with more-advanced disease, 10.5% presented with breast cancer before the age of 40 years, and 22.4% before 45 years of age. African-American patients were less likely to undergo operations. Similarly, low-SES patients were less likely to have operations and presented more often with larger tumors. Stepwise multivariate analysis revealed a substantial drop in the hazard ratio for African-American patients once correction for stage of presentation was made, suggesting that disparities in breast cancer outcomes are, in part, a result of advanced stage at presentation. Race and low SES were independent predictors of worse prognosis when controlling for patient comorbidities and treatment.


Dramatic disparities by patient race and SES exist in breast cancer. Our study integrates previous smaller studies, providing comprehensive insight into African-American patients and their outcomes for breast cancer. Earlier screening programs and greater access to cancer care for the poor and African Americans are needed. Successful institution of such programs will not completely erase disparities in outcomes for breast cancer in African-American patients.

Abbreviations and Acronyms: AHCA, Agency for Health Care Administration, FCDS, Florida Cancer Data System, HR, hazard ratio, SEER, Surveillance, Epidemiology, and End Results, SES, socioeconomic status

Breast cancer screening is important for ALL WOMEN. No fucking doubt. BUT. If your titties are black like mine, get yours screened carefully. If you are broke, find a free clinic and get help. Take it seriously. Contact the United Breast Cancer Foundationand get that going. Or contact the CDC…they want you to be healthy, too!

I want you to have good news about your fabulous tatas, too!

Happy Healthy HNT!

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  1. lamesabassman on August 6, 2009 at 1:56 AM

    see, love, someone walks with you
    you can’t see… but you do feel
    and the feeling is there
    so very real
    and they are many
    for you …. always with you
    to guide while they hide
    they’re very good at what they do
    they cant stop a frown
    while making you laugh
    thru Life’s tears
    they chase away your fears
    and keep you whole…..

    go make your mark
    so we all know
    you’ve been here
    whatever’s your fancy
    whatever make you …. you
    dont ever stop
    that voodoo
    yo do…
    it’s what chases
    those bad germs….. away……

    ’tis glad to hear
    you’re on the mend
    and ‘tho we hardly know ye
    am so glad
    you call us …. friend……

    hang tough, sistah…..

    • mollena on August 6, 2009 at 12:16 PM

      Thank you, Mr. Bassman! :-) That made me smile in 4 ways and 5 different places in the heart.

      • lamesabassman on August 6, 2009 at 12:35 PM

        please …. dont ever change…. unless you want to…..

  2. Menstruosity on August 6, 2009 at 2:19 AM

    I’m glad the results came back good! I have the same looming shadow over here, both endometrial and breast cancer. Hence I celebrate my period whenever it comes because you never know… had too many scares.

    …as for free clinics I don’t know, I hope something good comes out of all this healthcare reform crap drama, my husband had two tumors (total 5″) removed from his back while he was awake, sitting up, had a back spasm in the middle of it… and at the follow up was told he didn’t need an MRI even though they originally thought they were just removing a mole :/

    From a medical perspective all you can do is educate yourself (and others) and be weary of what types of products you use. Hopefully whatever dormant genes stay that way too.

    Your efforts in sharing your experiences are very much appreciated.

    • mollena on August 6, 2009 at 12:18 PM

      Thank you for your story. That sounds like an insanely abysmal experience. Unbelievable. I hope he is recovered from that and has received better follow-up care!



  3. Amorous Rocker on August 6, 2009 at 2:49 AM

    Cute nose ring!

    I’m glad the results came back all good. My grandmother (that I’m very close with) got diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year and they found it a bit too late. It’s been hard to watch her going though it but aside from the heartbreaking part of it, it has been informative and eye-opening. Excellent post. Happy healthy HNT to you.

    • mollena on August 6, 2009 at 3:48 PM

      I’m so sorry to learn that your Grandmother had to go through so much because the cancer wasn’t caught sooner. I hope her subsequent care is easier on her, and that your family is able to be there for her and for one another through this difficult experience.

      Peace :-)


  4. the Grundoon on August 6, 2009 at 6:06 AM

    You should be commended for attempting to bring these issues to everyone’s attention. Thankfully yours came back with positive results but many other stories in lower income communites are not so inspiring.

    On the personal side, I would not mind seeing some pictures of the proceedure (LOL). Maybe this will start a new type of medical fetish.

    • mollena on August 6, 2009 at 3:50 PM

      I am SURE there must be PLENTY of people loving the whole idea of mammography, breast exam, all that stuff! :-)

      I hope that, moving forward, we have a new era of health-care available for all people,regardless of income level.

      Peace, and thank you for visiting :-)


  5. Heidi Anderson on August 6, 2009 at 7:28 AM

    Glad you and your large areola are ok! I also have large areola, but was never bothered by them until I breastfed. Did you know that you have to shove ALL OF ZTHE AREOLA in the babies mouth????

    Luckily,they did fine.

    Yay, boobies!

    • mollena on August 6, 2009 at 3:52 PM



      There Is NO. WAY. the whole of my areola would fit into a baby’s mouth. Simply no, even if you squished the skin ad squishily as possible!!!



      Thanks for swinging by, mama!



  6. osbasso on August 6, 2009 at 7:34 AM

    Hooray for healthy hooters!

    Hope all your future results are as positive! (or negative, as the case may be…)

    • mollena on August 6, 2009 at 3:53 PM

      I hope so too, Mr. O!

      From your mouth from Ganesha’s flappy ears!