Advice
I’m On THE Savage Lovecast!
I have been reading Dan Savage’s ponderings on sex and relationships since back in High School when we used to run to get the Village Voice, flip to the back, scan his column and gleefully read aloud each letter that opened with“Hey Faggot…” the reclamation of that term was radical for a whole lot of us…
Read MoreThree Tips for the New Kink Explorer!
I was recently asked by a publication for some quick tips and advice for couples interested in exploring BDSM to kink up bedroom play. I doubt the journalist will use the entirety of what I wrote…space constraints and all…but these three points are, I feel important for those just dipping their toes into the wild & wonderful world of BDSM. Here’s my quick-n-dirty recommendations for…
Read MoreThis week on SexIs Magazine: “7 Random Suggestions for Dominant Types!”
This week’s SexIs Magazine column is one where I offer some advice to one of the less-likely-to-be-advised demographic in the kink junglelands: Teh Twue Dominates. Well, and the regular dominants, masters, owners and tops, too. Seven (random) Suggestions for Dominant Types Hubris, you say, for me, a mere trembling flower of submission to dare…
Read MoreAccepting your submissive self.
Some anonymous person asked me the following on Formspring…and I felt more like talking to them rather than writing about it. Admitting my submissive side is one of the hardest things that’s happened to me. I don’t know what to think or do with myself anymore. I wonder if it’s a result of past sexual…
Read MorePSA: Munches. Are. Low-Key. On. Purpose.
I have now, in the past 3 days, seen 4-5 threads about newcomers complaining about the lack of kink, sex, and fuckery at Munches. If you read the history, you’ll see what happens when Munches deviate from this rule. And some folks in the PNW re-learned this lesson the hard way recently. Dating and “getting…
Read MoreFormspring Q & A: Avoiding emotional intimacy.
This question on Formspring is interesting to me, but there is no room for discussion there. I’m posting it here, first to see if I can get some bounceback from other folks who struggle with intimacy and emotional availability and secondly because I’m in “Don’t. Get. Attached!” mode with someone with whom I recently hooked up.…
Read MoreAdvice for those new to Kink: From “How My Other Half Lives”
I am not a wheel re-inventer. SO, when someone else has taken the time and energy to thoughtfully and thoroughly answer a question I’m often asked, I’ll pass the motherfucking buck! My buddy@SaschaK posted a great blog entry on her home on the range, How my other half lives that I think everyone should read.…
Read MoreAsk The Negress: Q & A. To the submissives…
Q: What tips do you think all submissives need to hear, in your experience? from formspring.me … courtesy of Nadia West Take. Your. Time. BDSM isn’t going anywhere. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, and waiting is just fine. Plunging in headfirst is awesome, until it isn’t. Think of it this way: sure,…
Read MoreAsk The Negress: Breakup Voodoo.
From Formspring… Q: When a relationship ends, what is the best approach for moving on and regaining self, things that you lost while in that relationship? A: This is so mutable. (Which is OK. Gemini’s a mutable sign. I’m good) The circumstances of the relationship have EVERYTHING to do with the breakup. How long was…
Read MorePolytiquette
Wondering, poly-minded people, from your experience, how you handle this situation! Poly person #1 asks you to hook up / get down. You’re cool with it, and it just so happens you know / are friends with / are otherwise cool with their partner, PolyPerson #2. How do you approach this negotiation? DO you talk…
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