Processing
Hello, Nightmare!
“This isn’t all about you. It isn’t some fantasy, none of that safeword bullshit. It is all about me, right now, and for your foreseeable future. So scream all you want. I don’t give a fuck. No one does.†This strange dark slippery sentiment crept into my head yesterday. Sitting at work combing through the…
Read MoreMo’s nogamy.
Heart monogamy is how I’ve recently come to identify my idea of my optimal relationship structure. While I know many people eschew labels and frown upon being “boxed,†I see well-placed labels as a great way for people listening to me to grab onto what I’m talking about. I can then drag them along for…
Read MoreRunning away to home.
Dark moods are not unknown to me. Though I have many fewer now than I did even a year ago, and by orders of magnitude fewer today than I did when I a still actively drinking myself to death. the (up?down?)side to this is that today, I am committed to turning my heart to face these moods…
Read MoreSubmit. Fiercely.
“Sekhmet” ~ by Laurel Green  As often happens my brain revs up to impossible speeds just as I’m going to sleep. I am certain that this is because “normal working hours†are at odds with the hours in which I work best. I am NOT. Bloody. Diurnal. If the average person has an 8-hour window…
Read MoreFeeling wrong feels right.
A few years back, I saw an insanely rough sex moment in an adult flick. A man was hitting it doggie style, shagging the hell out of a woman while pulling her arms into a painful stretch behind her. He then abruptly folded her arms together on the small of her back, swung his leg up…
Read MoreIncidental submission.
The other day I was told “No, you’ll do it this way.” In my professional life. And, Ganesha help me, I loved it. Sure, at first, not so much. But within a few minutes I was strangely pleased. Smoothed out. Dare I say, perky, even. I had a customer issue I needed to address, and…
Read MoreFor today…I win. Right now…I rule.
I recently received a comment from a reader on my blog here that was if critical import to me in a time where i face cutting criticism and sometimes feel like I’m swimming upstream on a futile mission about which no one really cares. I’ll quote it here: Wow. I am blown away. I read…
Read MoreWho’s Lynching Who?
It is not the first time that someone has been whipped into enough of a frenzy to excoriate me publicly. Years ago, when I was just talking about race play among  a small group of people, and had only one class under my belt, I took this type of fuckery much more heavily. Nowadays, I am…
Read MoreAnd that’s a wrap.
I want to thank the folks at Kinkfest once again. What a well-run event, and how much of an honor it is to be able to spend time there. Even if I weren’t presenting, I’d attend KinkFest. They do a smashing job. Deepest Kudos to Mike. His patience and generosity towards me were remarkable. These days, going to…
Read MorePerfectly flawed.
 Being submissive and desiring slavery, craving physical and emotional ownership would seem to place me at a disadvantage, relationship-wise I have to be the one looking to fit into the right “place,” right? I mean, there is the topdominantowner, fully formed and domly and all, needing me to be what THEY need in order…
Read More