Jan 232012
 

From my latest column on SexIs Magazine:

 

My first dominant was really into a style of bondage commonly referred to as kinbaku, or shibari in the USA. It’s a lot of rope, usually jute or hemp, and sometimes it is used as a way to suspend folks off of the ground, in defiance of several laws. Most notably, gravity. I wasn’t having any of it. As a fat chick, I was not at all interested in looking like a tied roast about to braise in a 450 degree oven, ya feel me? 

But one of the things I love most about being submissive is that I’ve agreed to obey. So, I found myself trussed, twisted and tied, and somewhat taken-aback when I found myself slowing down, my senses heightened, my state of mind smoothed out, yet amped up, as the ropes went on me for the first time. My dominant wasn’t much of a talker while he was in the midst of administering rope bondage, but I soon realized that the very act of him laying yard after yard of earthy hemp rope across my skin was its own form of communication. The rope was an extension of his touch, and remained in place even after his hands had passed on to the next wrap, looping the next tie around this wrist and that ankle, over, under and around my breasts. Then I was in this kind of between place, adrift, yet alert; present in my body in a way I’d never been before, and yet somehow diffused throughout the network of rope. 

 

Read the whole juicy thing here!

Jan 072012
 

I was inspired to write a piece about coming out to my Mom about being kinky. I was inspired by a moment of very deep gratitude when i saw a friend talking about how unaccepting her Mother had been about her sexuality.

 

So fucking Uncool.

 

I’m doubly proud that, when I called Mom to ask if she minded me writing the piece, and on top of that if she was OK with my using a photo of the two if us together, she said she was happy to have both of those things happen.

 

Not bad for a nice Baptist church lady, eh?

 

From the column…

 

 I took a deep breath, asked her if she really wanted to know, since it had to do with my sexuality. She said yes, she did want to know. So I braced myself and told her I’d been in Washington DC to teach a class at Black Rose… a kink and BDSM convention. 

“BDSM?” 

“Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission Sadism & Masochism. You know, the whips and chains people.” 

“Oh! Wow. And here I though you were a lesbian and were embarrassed to tell me.” 

I laughed silently. But I figured now wasn’t the time to lay on the outing myself as bisexual as well: if my high-school triad hadn’t given it away, she didn’t need this additional data point right then! 

She asked me some surprisingly challenging questions, and when she asked me how it was to give people spankings, I realized I had to come out to her again… as a submissive. 

“Now that is a surprise. I would have though you would be a dominatrix!” 

“Yeah, Ma, so does everyone else…” 

 

Read more…!

Dec 232011
 

 

It is a busy end to a busy year!

 

My first podcast for Erotic Awakening has hit the ground running!

 

Sit back, relax, take your socks off, get naked, grab a snack and some lotion and ….er….or just listen to my first installment of The Negress Natters on EA!

 

Check out EA # 161 ~

Mollena’s Debut!

 

 

 

It is holiday time and all of that shit.  So lotsof you will be lounging around wondering what to do with all of that free time.

 

Still have some bandwidth…?  Continue reading »

Dec 082011
 

photo by stacie joy

This week’s SexIs Magazine column is one where I offer some advice to one of the less-likely-to-be-advised demographic in the kink junglelands: Teh Twue Dominates.

Well, and the regular dominants, masters, owners and tops, too.

Seven (random) Suggestions for Dominant Types

 

Hubris, you say, for me, a mere trembling flower of submission to dare to advise the domly doms?

 

Yes, mine is a Quixotic quest.

 

But I gotta tilt at windmills. Especially Fancypants Florentine-flogging dominate windmills :-P

 

Yeah yeah, I know each and every one of you D-Types are special snowflake lone Alpha-wolves, running along the dark paths of kink , howling at the moon, sniffling the tender flesh of nubile submissives, and doin’ your own thang. Respect. Mad props to ya. But keep in mind? With power comes responsibility. You can call the shots all you want. But without humility, discipline and flexibility, it’s not likely you’ll be the boss of anyone for very long. 

 

Over my years involved in kink circles, I’ve noticed that some dominant-types take pride in not taking advice from anyone, insisting that they make the rules and it is the responsibility of the submissive to adjust themselves and adhere to their world-view. And ultimately, yes: the master masters, and the slave slaves. But without negotiation, compromise and compassion? The stage is set for breakdowns, conflict and the corrosion of resentment. 

 

…read it all, baby!

 

Nov 232011
 

Woo hoo!

My latest offering on SexIs Magazine is up!

Spank long and prosper!

“It might seem terribly romantic to sacrifice yourself, your time, your body, in service to another. It is very fulfilling, for many people, to push themselves in their service. Those who eroticize the exchange of power often thrive in a situation where they can sometimes experience privation and hardship. It can be a means to growth.

However.

If your physical, emotional and spiritual health are not in order? You aren’t doing anyone any damned favors.”

 
 

Also, please note in my post, there was an edit that actually changes my take on the PD.

 

“It is the primary responsibility of the slave to protect the master’s property at all times, up to and including protecting the property from the master themselves”

 

In the current iteration (which I have requested edited) the slave is refered to as an “it.”

 

Dehumanizing the slave to an “it” is a personal choice one may make, However for my purposes, I assume that the slave or submissive identifies as a human not an object.

 

…read deeper…

 

 

 

Nov 092011
 

 

I am deeeelighted to report my new gig as a columnist for SexIs Magazine!

 

Please stop on by, say hi, comment, thumbs-up, and all that cool shit that strokes my ego. Hey well, who doesn’t like a good stroking now and then?

 

 

Aug 182010
 
The Perverted Negress, Without Shame: An Interview with Mollena Williams, International Ms. Leather 2010SexIs: All Things Sexual online magazine from EdenFantasys.com
August 17, 2010

Perverted Negress, Without Shame: An Interview with Mollena Williams, International Ms. Leather 2010

by Lori Selke

Mollena “Mo” Williams doesn’t know how to slow down. Just this year, she was crowned first Ms. San Francisco Leather and then International Ms. Leather 2010; wrote her first book, The Toybag Guide to Playing With Taboo (Greenery Press); staged a revival of 69 Stories, her one-woman show about her erotic self-discovery; participated in the San Francisco Gay Pride Parade; quit her old job and started a new one.

In the meantime, she’s made a reputation in the BDSM scene as a sought-after teacher and presenter on topics such as race play, as well as a prolific blogger at ALT.com and at her personal website, The Perverted Negress. It’s hard to believe that a mere three years ago, Mo was unemployed and fresh out of a stint in rehab for alcoholism. She took a rare afternoon off the day after San Francisco Pride to talk about her remarkable journey over tea.

You’ve been very open about your sobriety.

Yes. And I’m really glad, because part of what was difficult for me was that shame. I had the surety that if people knew how fucked up I was, they wouldn’t like me anymore.
The final—I was going to say nail in the coffin but no, this is the nail out of the coffin—was one morning I got up and I thought I was dying. Continue reading »