VD 2013…same old song.

14 February 2013 |

VD. Blah blah, buckets of haterade. I AM bitter and single on VD. Again. I have spent more of them single than not. And the ones where I WAS partnered, the pressure made ’em miserable. My friend, the awesome Laura Antoniou, has a rather compelling essay on why she’s not a fan… check it out here. I was…

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On Racism, entertainment, and race-play.

09 February 2013 |

Part one: Part Two Many people continue to defend the racism of a white male drag-queen donning blackface as “humor” and insist that we ignore it if we don’t like it. Many people feel free to tell me how to react to racism, even as I stand and see people I considered friends and allies…

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Speaking out against racism in Leather.

06 February 2013 |

If you’re just catching up on the issue of the Portland Eagle Blackface Problem, please read my original post here. (Thanks to  Sprinkles McGillicuddy for making a captioned version available!) Some people have stepped up to the place and stepped up as allies. Being an ally means fighting alongside. It is about taking a stand, in front…

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NEWSFLASH!! Blackface: still racist, y’all.

01 February 2013 |

This is in response to the horrifying choice of the Portland Eagle to book Chuck Knipp, a racist who tucks his bigotry and sexism into the alter-ego “Shirley Q. Liquor,” who is a slanderous caricature of Black women. Here is a clip of this racist BS. The Eagle posted the announcement on Facebook. There were…

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Gimmie a call tonight!

24 January 2013 | Comments Off on Gimmie a call tonight!

The BlogTalk Radio gods were unkind last week, and Rebekah and I  managed to only get in about 20 minutes of chat altogether! SO! I’m back on tonight, with Rebekah Beneteau! Show starts at 8:30 EST! You can call in Call in to speak with us at (347) 838-8931

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Here comes the Summit!

23 January 2013 |

 I am so fucking stoked, you guys!  I have  for years wanted to  make a space for teaching, learning, peer-sharing and togetherness for submissive and slave types, and it is starting to happen! Thanks to Rebekah Beneteau of Wise Wild Feminine, we have a date for the Northeast! Submissive & Slave Identified or curious? You might wish to hold…

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On “Arrogance.”

23 January 2013 |

It seems that being assertive about your self-worth = arrogance to some. Lashing back at me in that way just proves my point: you don’t think I’m worth it. Newsflash: I do. And I am. In my work, in my relationships, in my life. I’ve had the following lobbed at me: Diva*. Arrogant. Presumptuous. Pushy.…

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21 January 2013 |

I could count on one hand the number of times he kissed me throughout the entirety of our relationship on one hand and still have fingers to spare to cock and trigger an imaginary gun and I wondered if this was because he didn’t think I was worthy of kissing The first kiss was the…

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Another voice.

20 January 2013 |

I don’t often feel someone else grab my insides and says “No, THIS is how you feel.” I am adept at expressing myself. Except lately, that hasn’t been the case. There are many factors, but the three I’ve been able to isolate are fear, anxiety and loneliness. The fear hit me in the face when…

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An afternoon with Adam.

07 January 2013 |

This is me and my friend, Adam. We have known one another since first grade. And through a bizarre and hilarious series of coincidences, his kinky wife met a mutual photographer friend and one thing led to another and his passing thought, years ago, about the two of us doing a photo shoot wound up…

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...I got this.

No short-sell.

02 January 2013 |

I have no resolutions. This isn’t as weirdly hopeless as it might sound. I’ve spent the past few weeks fretting on one account or another. Some of it is fretting over what choices I “should” be making, what things I “should” be doing, and judging my own life and progress against that of others around…

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Charming, Charlie!

19 December 2012 | Comments Off on Charming, Charlie!
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Perving in Boston, December 16th!

08 December 2012 | Comments Off on Perving in Boston, December 16th!

I will be up in Massachusetts, y’all! on Sunday, December 16th, I’ll be doing not one but TWO classes in Boston! Well, technically Brookline and Somerville but whatever. I still can’t get the hang of the geography there, and the *&^%$ lack of communicative street signs doesn’t help… …but I digress ;-D 2:00pm “Role Playing: Using Your Head to get…

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London calling. (Or, why every motherfucking submissive / slave needs to get on the other side of the slash. Now.)

30 November 2012 |

  So I’m in London, studying with Barbara Carellas. We did an exercise today in her Urban Tantra class that put me for the first time in a d/s headspace as the dominant. It was a pretty simple rope thing with blindfolds. Simple, of course, until you actually started doing it. I was filled with…

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Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2012!

20 November 2012 |

Yay! 1. Molly from Molly’s Daily Kiss @mollysdailykiss 2. EA from Easily Aroused @EasilyAroused 3. Hyacinth Jones from A Dissolute Life Means… 4. Cheeky Minx from Love Hate Sex Cake @LoveHateSexCake 5. Amy from Anal Amy @AnalAmy 6. My Trousers Rolled from My Trousers Rolled @rolledtrousers 7. Sexual Life of a Wife from Sexual Life…

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Patrick Mulcahey: “Learning About Learning”

20 November 2012 | Comments Off on Patrick Mulcahey: “Learning About Learning”

A Most Excellent keynote from Patrick Mulcahey. One of my most heroic heroes.        LEARNING ABOUT LEARNING Good evening. It’s a pleasure and an honor to speak with you tonight. A little over two years ago, I heard a rumor that shocked me: the San Francisco Leathermen’s Discussion Group was about to fold. LDG,…

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Beat Your Meat for Turkey Day.

19 November 2012 | Comments Off on Beat Your Meat for Turkey Day.

I love Thanksgiving mostly because it means I can post this awesome Count Boogie video.   Again.

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29 October 2012 | Comments Off on OMG THE BOOK IS ON SALE FOR [REDACTED]

  We have NO IDEA how long this’ll be the case or if this is even correct but Playing Well With Others is in Kindle format on Amazon and is…well.   Its cheap.   Grab it while ya can! Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Navigating and Exploring the Kink, Leather and…

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19 October 2012 | Comments Off on PRESS RELEASE: WHISTLE STOP TOUR 2012 with LEE HARRINGTON & MOLLENA is a GO!

NEW YORK, NY – FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE, OCTOBER 18TH, 2012: In conjunction with their eagerly awaited, groundbreaking book PLAYING WELL WITH OTHERS: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities, Lee Harrington and Mollena are embarking on a cross-country Whistle-Stop tour from October 24th through November 17th, taking their…

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19 October 2012 |

This past few weeks has been NUTS, yo. Travel insanity, and despite the fact I tried really hard to leave time to relax, it wound up being mostly about dental nightmares and unpleasant financial news. And woven in amidst the whirlwind of planning for the amazing tour that Lee Harrington and I are doing in support of the release…

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The Whistle Stop Tour is a-comin’!

10 October 2012 | Comments Off on The Whistle Stop Tour is a-comin’!

The “Playing Well With Others” tour is creeping up on ya!  HELP US AFFORD TO TOUR… and get your own signed copies of books, “Wanna Do Some Stuff” cards, and so much more! Pre-Tour Appearances! Sunday October 21st : Brookline, MA :  Mollena teaches for MOB New England. Tuesday, October 23rd, Sommerville, MA: Up-Close & Yummy: an intimate class…

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05 October 2012 |

KNOW YOUR NEGROS III: Advanced Edition. Yep, it is true…there aren’t all THAT many brown faces in the Kink / Leather world. But hey, we are working on it. Interestingly, though there aren’t that many of us we are mistaken for one another….er…a lot, actually. Embarrassingly so. So I tried to help by posting PSAs. But now……

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Kink the Vote!

27 September 2012 | Comments Off on Kink the Vote!

Who says dogs get to have all of the fun? When I saw this for sale on the Obama for America store, I was sorely tempted. When I found a discount code (type in “YOUNGAMERICANS” for 25% off!) I went for it. I’ll be collared to the President and barkin’ for Barack.  Last week while…

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Safewords are for pussies.

25 September 2012 | Comments Off on Safewords are for pussies.

No, really.

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4:47 AM

21 September 2012 |

A timid hand touches me where few ever touch… Hello…hello? Do you have a moment? I turn away, my heart excruciating squeeze of pain so long-present it has to find new ways to make its presence felt at every turn. I am sorry to bother you. I know we are busy but I am having…

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