The Dominant Guy & flashlights & labels.

Today @TheDominantGuy and I had some time to have a phone date. Which I love so very much.  There are still Big Ass Things on the table to discuss and that might have gone down…but the second stage of emotional heavy-lifting didn’t happen. We got to catch up on other stuff. And actually just talk,…

Read More

“Vanilla” Bigotry.

I love perverted sex. In fact, some of the perverted sex I love the most is considered too fucked up for public consumption by other kinky people. I love kinky people. The community, warts and all, is a home for me.  And like any extended weird family, we have our disagreements. I know for a…

Read More

Triple Douchebaggery, Rod Jetton Style

Ugh. Republicans. AGAIN with the sex scandals!! OK, to be fair, that is certainly a blanket statement, and I shouldn’t be so flippant. ALL public figures get themselves into sexual loggerheads, right? And hell, my ex, Jack, was a registered Republican and I’ve certainly taken a few tumbles with conservative types. Shit, I even had…

Read More

Don’t let it slide.

Too many people, overwhelmingly on the bottom / submissive side of the kink equation, have a tendency to have a “let it slide” attitude. You know. You meet someone, they are very aggressive on the first date, move too fast, but because you emerge unscathed, you “let it slide.” Someone pushes a limit, but maybe…

Read More

Fireplay: u r doin it wrong.

Fireplay can be a dramatic and sexy aspect of BDSM play. Whether you are doing a quick swipe of someone’s skin with flash-paper or using some high falutin’ fire floggers, it is certainly an eye-catching and showy scene. Unless you set everything on fire. I was recently reminded of a scene I saw many years…

Read More

For today…I win. Right now…I rule.

I recently received a comment from a reader on my blog here that was if critical import to me in a time where i face cutting criticism and sometimes feel like I’m swimming upstream on a futile mission about which no one really cares.  I’ll quote it here: Wow. I am blown away. I read…

Read More

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

The not-at-all controversial race play class I conducted on Tuesday went well. Good turnout. A good mix of folks. Fantastic feedback. Even some kudos from a VERY skeptical friend who was prepared to be QUITE displeased with the outcome.  After the bullfuckery of the past week, it was very gratifying to have so much support…

Read More

Just holding on.

I usually do become nervous before classes. But tonight it is compounded by the hateful email, the unpleasant reactions on another site about the race play interviews, my own delicately-balanced self-esteem, and feeling more than a little lonely. It isn’t ever easy to present, and with the gnawing realization that *gasp* someone out there wishes…

Read More

Who’s Lynching Who?

It is not the first time that someone has been whipped into enough of a frenzy to excoriate me publicly. Years ago, when I was just talking about race play among  a small group of people, and had only one class under my belt, I took this type of fuckery much more heavily. Nowadays, I am…

Read More

Hey! Fuck You, Stan Lee.

As a big old Pervert, I’m always glad to get tips from my friends, twisted or not, about the interesting dark matter they unearth here and there. So I was tickled when my buddy Mike Twittered me about this cool looking on Joe Shuster, on of the guys behind the Superman comic. Then I read the…

Read More