Sometimes, people who are involved in kink feel compelled try to explain to non-kink identified people why we do this kinky shit at all.
Often, pervs will talk about their kink as though only other pervs do what we do, and no non kinky human can ever understand the “Depth” of service.
The thing about dominance and submission is this: we pervs make a bigger fucking deal of it than is often necessary simply because we have fetishized it.
But really, we ALL SUBMIT. EVERY DAY. To traffic lights, to social mores, to the limitations of human flesh.
Trying to break down what submission means so that I can understand my own kink more effectively is important to me. I strive to express my life in Leather in a way that encourages people to think “Oh, OK, I get that. Tell me more!” rather than “Oh god, what the hell?! That is just too much!”
That’s part of the reason I’m here: to publicly talk myself through my journey, narrate my story, and let you peek into the windows or even ride along. if you choose!
I find many things in my life that bring me to a submissive head-space.
A simple example that not too long ago made me remember why service is so important for me was making tea for someone I was getting to know. It was not full-on high protocol service, just two people sitting and having a hot pot of tea. Talking.
However my reflexes and heightened observation kicked in, for whatever reason. Small refreshment was brought out, the level of sugar noted for the first cup so that it could be remembered for the second, the cup handle turned upon presentation so that he would not have to re-arrange the cup to drink from it, the refill before it was necessary, and fresh pot prepared so that there was no break in the service. Even the moment bridged when the “last cup” has been politely declined, but you note a hesitation, so slight, when you continue to drink yours, and you then offer another pot without asking, taking the risk of putting your service out there. A small thing, but in the heart when it is openly serving, a slight misstep can seem profoundly devastating. All it takes to make this service well and truly received is a sincere connected acknowledgment. THAT is the dropping of ego, when you connect to the service offered as a part of the person who has offered to you the most elusive of things in this world, and that is their time and their energy and their focus.
Yeah, serving tea is a fucking trip, man.