I don’t usually advertise myself as a switch. Why? Because I’m not, centrally, switch-focused. I have found a depth of fulfillment within my submissive nature that is pretty fucking startlingly WINtastic.
But every once in a while someone gets through the cracks and I think “Well, maybe, maybe I could switch…”
And I wish it were not so, but this seems to be the case with insanely attractive submissive men.
I received a message on CollarMe that didn’t make me want to run screaming for the hills or rant insanely about the puerility of most of the membership on that particular site. But it was from a submissive. I idly scrolled down to the profile picture and holymotherfucking shit the man is gorgeous. GORGEOUS. And it seems that I am precisely his type.
Check and mate.
First off, there ain’t nothing much more attractive than someone who thinks that who you are is simply over-the-top fantastic. There aren’t busloads of men stopping in front of my flat looking for “That thick black blonde woman,” so when someone specifically digs me, I am thinking “OK, let’s look further.”
And then he’s smoking hot. Yay!
But submissive. Boo!
My ex-boyfriend, The Pizza Guy*, didn’t identify as a “dominant” per se. But our relationship worked out well while it lasted. And I know plenty of people who become involved with folks who fall outside of their desired core identification.
I rarely say “Never.” Primarily because to make that kind of call is hubris. And anyone who has read their mythology knows how well hubristic heroes fare in the end!
But I cannot help feeling a bit shallow and petty. If an equally sincere submissive with whom I might also have an interesting relationship approached me but was not some Adonis, would I consider a coffee date as readily? And if not, is that fair? If if not fair, who cares?
This is all probably moot. The flake factor on these sites is markedly overwhelming, and I probably will not wind up meetig this man. But when I am next at a Munch or a Kink Convention and meet that really really hot submissive, I may well not move them into the “ineligible” category quite so quickly.